FROZEN 2 ANNOUNCED, NIECES OF THE WORLD FREAK OUT
This is the lady from Frozen, right? Sorry, I’m old.
Disney has officially announced that they will be producing a sequel to Frozen, revealing the news at their annual shareholders meeting in San Francisco on Thursday. Although it’s possible that they actually just announced that everyone at the shareholders meeting would be making an extra few billion dollars very soon, and everybody just inferred the info from that.
People have apparently been turning up to Disney’s new live-action Cinderella just to see the Frozen short that plays before it, so this is pretty much a no-brainer, as Frozen‘s status as the Most Popular Thing In The World hasn’t let up since its release at the end of 2013. Obviously there aren’t a lot of details yet, although the original’s directors Jennifer Lee and Chris Buck will be teaming with producer Peter Del Vecho to develop the sequel, no release date has been announced yet. Still, this probably gives me some time to actually see that first movie before the next one comes out. I know that there is a snowman and that someone can/can not let something go. Now if you excuse me, I have a rock to crawl back under.
ROGUE ONE? WELL I NEVER SAW THE OTHER ROGUE MO-WAIT, NEVERMIND
Preferable to Jai Courtney in pretty much every way.
Because Disney owns the keys to their hearts of all mankind, that shareholders meeting had important news not just for little girls but for big beardy men too, as details about upcoming Star Wars movies were also given. The first standalone Star Wars was officially titled as Rogue One, which will be directed by Godzilla director Gareth Edwards and will star The Theory of Everything’s Felicity Jones. Rogue One will be released on December 16, 2016 and will presumably have something to do with the rebel starfighter squadron. Casting Felicity Jones as the lead of an X-Wing movie instead of generic Australian blockhead #237 is something of a pleasant surprise, and seems to be the latest interesting casting decision in a Star Wars movie to serve as a lifetime of apologies for Hayden Christensen.
In addition, Disney CEO Bob Iger confirmed that Brick and Looper director Rian Johnson will write and direct Star Wars Episode VIII, which will be released in May 2017, forty years after the original Star Wars. No lame jokes here, Rian Johnson getting to do a huge movie like this just makes my heart sing.
SWEET JESUS LOOK AT ROAR HOLY ****
Roar is a movie that came out in 1981. You’ve never heard of it and neither have I, so why should we care that Drafthouse Films is giving the film a small theatrical revival before a Blu-Ray, DVD and VOD release this summer?
Jesus people can’t you see there are LIONS right there? Get away from them, get away right now holy ****! I know none of the people who made this film died and I’m still terrified for them.