If you took “The Hangover”, beat it with a shovel, tied it to the back of a car, drove it through a cactus patch, beat it some more with a shovel, set it ablaze, pissed on it’s corpse and allowed a necrophiliac to have it’s way with it, you’d get “Mancation”! To say “The Hangover” inspired Frank Vain is an understatement. To be precise, Todd Phillips’ comedy inspired Mr. Vain to extract the wild shenanigans, drunken escapades and naughty language and dispose of the actual plot. In it’s place is a love triangle that’s so misdirected it somehow in the shape of a rectangle.
Vince (Matt Kaqczynski), the Doug of the group, just got married to his boss’ daughter. This was part of his intricately plotted plan to be happily married and be successful. It doesn’t even bother him that Mr. Vanderplatt (Mike Starr, who proves you can sleepwalk through a performance and chew the scenery at the same time) is an asshole who doesn’t like him. He’s always had feelings for Rebecca (Danica McKellar), but hid them in fear of ruining their friendship. You can see where this is going. It turns out his wife is a lesbian (okay, maybe you didn’t see that coming) who’s using him for daddy’s trust fund. Heartbroken, he and his buddies head to Atlantic City, where Rebecca just so happens to be (she’s attending a floral convention, despite the fact that she’s never actually at the damn thing).
Leo (Stephen Medvidick) is Vince’s prudish brother, the Stu of the group, who starts off innocent and offended, then becomes the group’s wildest member. That’s thanks to the mentorship of Adam (Jake Matthews), the asshole of the group. I was going to state he’s the Phil of the group, but Phil at least showed some compassion. Adam is the stereotypical movie asshole who pisses on everybody’s parade, yet somehow has friends and is supposed to be likable. Every second he’s on screen is pure torture (though Matthews does try his best to make the character work)! There’s one scene in particular where he’s getting a Prince Albert piercing (I’d say look it up, but I don’t want to give you nightmares) where I was hoping it would go awry and finally give him his comeuppance.
The true Phil of the group is Brady (Joey Fatone), who pulls off the sincerity well, but is too likable to be believable as a degenerate sleazebag. When he’s rattling off dirty sexual maneuvers (such as The Cleveland Steamer), it comes across as forced. Maybe that was Fatone’s way of mimicking the direction of the film. I’m probably digging too deep. Oh, and there’s no Alan. Vain didn’t want this to be a complete ripoff.
The gang get into the traditional frat boy shenanigans, such as numerous homophobic and racist remarks. There’s one scene where Leo shows his asshole side by insulting a bunch of Asians and doing the worst racial impersonation since Bugs Bunny. He never gets his ass beat for this, but instead wins a Controversial Off by pissing in his mouth, ripping a woman’s tampon out of her vagina and banging an old lady. The man he was competing against, Igor (Derek Lindeman), made out with a woman (one of the film’s many homophobic jokes) and covered himself in shit. This isn’t even bottom of the barrel humor. This material is six feet under.
I don’t know what’s worse about “Mancation”; the humor or the vapid sincerity. Admittedly, Fatone, Kawczynski and McKellar try to make it work (yes, Fatone actually tries to act and doesn’t fare too bad), but it’s a lost cause. You’d find more emotional depth in a puppet show performed by a drunk hobo. The only time my attention was sparked was in the beginning when Tommy Dreamer and The Blue Meanie had cameos as bouncers at a strip club. Once they left, the film went downhill. Scratch that; it went underground and crashed right into the depths of movie Hell!
Final Rating: D-