Souled Out
January 16th, 2000
LIVE from the Firstar Center in Cincinnati, Ohio
Attendance: 14, 132
Ah yes, all that hand rubbin’ you’ve been doing has finally paid off as I’m back on the grind and ready to watch some more rasslin’ that I’ve never seen before. Several months ago, I posted a poll on the FAN Forums asking folks what time period they wanted me to do after I was finished WWF 1999. The people have spoken as WCW 2000 was the clear winner. Welcome to the first edition of From the Rubble to the Ruins: A WCW 2000 Watchthrough
Man, WCW 2000…I’ve heard so many stories about it but I’ve actually seen very little footage from it. This is considered the holy grail of awful wrestling by some. So bad that it actually becomes somewhat entertaining in the sense that you are watching to see if it could possibly get any worse. This also happened to be the year when a lot of WCW fans went, “nah, I’m straight” and vanished like they learned Instant Transmission from Goku. Of course, WCW would catch the ultimate L the following year as they went out of business but let’s go back in time. As I’ve said before, I started watching wrestling in 2002 so these shows are essentially a fresh experience in my eyes. I’ve got a feeling that this is gonna be a wild ride but after WWF 1999, I feel like I’m ready for anything! Worst case scenario, I get bored and become a lazy douche again by not writing anything for months at a time. Let’s hope that doesn’t happen as the imaginary money that FAN pays me keeps me in mink coats and fine silk.
To start things off, we’re taking a look at Souled Out which was actually held in my hometown, the Nasty Nati’! This show headlined by Sid Vicious taking on Chris Benoit for the vacant WCW World Heavyweight Championship. There’s a bunch of other shit on here that I don’t know about so there could be some fun surprises. Enough lame bacgkround, let’s watch some pro rasslin’!
– After the opening logo graphic, we get a cold opening as the camera cuts to the arena where fans doing their best to look excited for the camera. Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, and Bobby “The Brain” Heenan are our announcers for the evening as they hype up the card over the sound of pyro going off. Schiavone explains that due to concussions suffered by Bret Hart (who was the world champ) and Jeff Jarrett, the main event has been changed to Chris Benoit vs. Sid for the vacant Heavyweight title. They even replay the footage of both getting hurt. Apparently, Jarrett got hurt by taking a Diving Headbutt from Benoit off the top of a cage. Who in the world thought that was a good idea, haha? Use your head, brah. …Not like that but you know what I mean.
Hennan looking like “nah, I’m straight” and the show ain’t even started yet.
– Actually, I think they’re kinda fibbing about the headbutt causing the concussion because Benoit quite clearly connects with Jarrett’s chest when you watch the footage. Oh well, lying makes for a better story, I guess. After all that, we get a recap of the pre-show where Shane Douglas and THE REVOLUTION!~ (Perry Saturn and Dean Malenko) are mugging Konnan. The attack was so vicious that K-Dawg had to be stretchered out of the building. After the beating, Douglas was presumably quoted as saying, “Game. Blouses.”
– They’re doing some kind of whacky gimmick called “Triple Threat Theatre” between Billy Kidman and the Revolution. Basically, Kidman has to wrestle 3 matches against a member of the Revolution with the final match being against a mystery opponent. Of course, all of the matches are gimmick matches because fuck moderation. We also have a hardcore match tonight as Kevin Nash takes on Terry Funk in what will surely be a fast paced encounter. Also, DDP takes on Buff Bagwell in a Last Man Standing match. All of that sounds like poopy but maybe it sounds worse than it is.
– We get a video of David Flair and Crowbar attacking Vampiro. Hilariously bad stuff here as they don’t even leave Vampiro laying. He literally just stands back up and holds his head like, “ow, that sorta hurt.” Meanwhile, Flair and Crowbar just sorta stop their beatdown and run away for no good reason. You might as well have had the director yell “cut!” to close out the segment, that’s how phoney it looked. Either way, that lame beatdown was to set up a three-way match between all three men later tonight.
– After running down the rest of the card (pretty much all of which sounds awful, including a Cruiserweight title match between Madusa and Oklahoma), it’s time for the opening match!
Match #1
Catch-As-Catch-Can Match
Dean Malenko vs. Billy Kidman
– The crowd seems to be excited, if nothing else, as they cheer for Kidman. If I’m hearing the announcers right, the rules here are that you can’t exit the ring or you’ll automatically lose the match. Both men go through some basic lockup exchanges before Kidman gets knocked down by a Shoulder Block. Malenko quickly takes control of the match using his superior wrestling skill as he puts Kidman in a headscissors submission. Dean tries to squeeze the life out of the filthy animal with his thunder thighs but Kidman finds a way out.
– They go back and forth for a bit before Kidman ends up raining down punches on a grounded Malenko. Out of desperation, Malenko…rolls out of the ring. Suddenly, everything stops. There’s lots of confusion as Schiavone is screaming that the match is over but neither competitor sells it like it’s the end and look like they are ready to just continue their match. The ref’s even confused as he just tells Malenko to get back in the ring despite the fact that he should have already called for the bell. Finally, ref Charles Robinson remembers the rules of the match and calls for the bell right before Malenko and Kidman can lock up again.
– What a hot mess of an ending to start off of your PPV, lol. Textbook example of wires being crossed and nobody being on the same page right here. I don’t know if Malenko just had a brain fart and rolled out when he wasn’t supposed or what the deal is but this was really weird. Kidman’s clearly frustrated at having one of his matches end so abruptly as he walks to the back when kayfabe-wise, he should be hype that he basically gets a free pass that allows him to go into his second match fresh.
The universal “I know I just messed up” look.
– A video recap from the previous episode of Thunder airs, showing Vampiro beating Crowbar clean, before the camera pans to show all the inbred trash in the crowd. Some of them look ok but there are some straight up jabronis in this crowd. The kind that makes you not want to admit to folks that you also like to watch people pretend-fight in their underwear.
– They’re showing a video hyping up the next match and I have no idea what in the world is going on in this feud. Seriously, this video is jumping all over the place. The best that I can gather is that Daffney is cray cray and that by association, David Flair is becoming crazy. Also, they met Crowbar at some point, who I can only assume was their meth dealer that agreed to help them beat people up at their job in exchange for shelter. In addition to that, Vampiro had a stable made up of the goth kids from South Park and they started a beef with David’s crew at some point.
– Backstage in the interview pit with some geek, Vampiro tries to cut a promo but gets interrupted by…Masahiro Chono? I’m not too familiar with puro but I think that’s who this is. Chono cuts a brief promo entirely in Japanese that I’m sure was 1000x better than any promo Vampiro could cut in English. …What is going on, haha? Man, the WWF PPV’s were kinda hard to keep up with at times because I didn’t see the build but there’s a ton of shit to keep track of in these storylines. WE’RE NOT EVEN 15 MINUTES INTO THE SHOW.
– In another part of the arena, David, Crowbar, and Daffney are chillin’ with Mene Gene Okerlund. It’s cornball central here as they act CRAZY~!~!~! and basically say they are gonna murk Vampiro.
Match #2
3-Way Dance
Vampiro vs. David Flair (w/Daffney) vs. Crowbar
– Flair and Crowbar come out together prompting Vampiro to run wild on both men to start off the match. He must be the babyface since he shakes his body like he’s having a seizure to show off his babyface fire! He’s got a certain charisma to him, I can’t lie.
– Anyhoo, Flair eventually rolls outside the ring and lets Vampiro & Crowbar duke it out in the ring. Vamp lands on his feet on a Monkey Flip attempt (which doesn’t get anywhere near the reaction you’d think it would) before drilling Crowbar with a whacky spin kick. Flair tries to intervene but gets thwarted as Vamp puts his experience in Mexico to good use by hitting a Suicide Dive onto Crowbar.
– Daffney gets uppity with the ref for literally no reason (it didn’t affect the match at all so why do it?) as Flair and Vampiro roll back into the ring. Flair tries to bite off Daddy Ric’s style with some chops in the corner but Vamp no-sells them. Alright, American Goth Style. Let’s see who the better vampire is!
– Vampiro continues to beat up both heels all by himself but gets cut off by Crowbar doing a dive onto both him and Flair! The likely meth dealer begins working Vampiro over. hitting him with a splash from the apron while Vamp was on the floor. It should be noted that Crowbar shoved Flair out of the way before doing the dive, teasing dissension between the two.
– Flair tries to do chops again but it only serves to piss Vampiro off as he no-sells them again before throwing David out of the ring. This distraction allows Crowbar to hit a Springboard Leg Drop but Vamp kicks out. Not many people in the building cared. They were into this at first when it was just Vampiro running wild but once the heels started taking over, they died a death.
– For some reason, they are just now showing a replay of the dive that happened like 2 minutes ago. The first major botch of the match happens as Vampiro screws up a Powerbomb counter before going “fuck it” and just making his comeback anyway because that’s the planned spot. It doesn’t last for long as the heels quickly cut him off again and wow, this match did not need to go this long. Finally, the heels start fighting each other after Crowbar tries to pin Vamp while he’s trapped in a Figure Four. Flair doesn’t take too kindly to this and throws him off. Sensing trouble, Daffney tries to stop her boys from fighting but it’s too late as David is so damn mad that he…hits a Back Suplex. Because that’s what I always do when I get pissed off at someone.
– Apparently, Daffney is turned on by suplexes as she decides that this is the perfect time for her and David to get it on in the ring. Vampiro tries to roll him up but it fails as this match has totally fallen apart by this point. Daffney tries to attack Vamp but it backfires as he avoids a charge from David causing the Flair to squash his own girlfriend in the corner! The goth hits a Michinoku Driver (which I suppose is his finisher) for the win!
– The match was..hm. I’ve seen far worse matches and the action was fine here for the most part, this just went way too long. Crowbar just disappeared so I don’t know what happened to him.
– Hahaha, I just noticed something about the finish after watching the replay. Daffney takes the charge in the corner from David and sells it like she’s gonna pass out…for exactly 1 second before she’s totally fine and calmly gets out of the ring like nothing even happened. She stands on the apron and just watches as her boyfriend is pinned despite her being so concerned like 30 seconds earlier that she tried to interfere in the match. How delightfully bush league.
– The master of the titty dance, Buff Bagwell, has arrived at the building. …Yay? From there, we go back to Mene Gene who’s standing by with the Mamalukes. I don’t know much about these cats but they look to be very stereotypical Italians. Disco Inferno is also there for some reason. The guys that are actually gonna be wrestling are Big Vito and Johnny the Bull (FUN FACT: Johnny went on to play the character Rellik in TNA years later. That’s killer spelled backwards, in case anybody didn’t know). They promise to win tonight.
Match #3
The Skinhead Twins (The Harris Boys) vs. The Mamalukes (Big Vito & Johnny The Bull)(w/Disco Inferno)
– Oh my. I do not have high hopes for this one…
“God, why have you forsaken me?”
– Apparently, one of the Mamalukes are named Tony Marinara. That’s like having somebody in the Nation of Domination named Jackie Watermelon. I have no idea which Harris is which but something tells my audience won’t care all that much. One of them starts out the match with Johnny the Bull and quickly gains the upper hand. Johnny fights back, however, with a spin kick. In the same way that everybody has to use the Superkick in 2015, maybe everybody had to use whacky spin kicks in 2000. It actually didn’t look bad to Johnny’s credit.
– They are getting some light cheers so I guess the Mamalukes are faces here. Or, maybe they aren’t because they cut the ring in half and begin working over one of the Harris turds. Lots of dicking around ensues as the fans sit on their hands. Behind the ref’s back, one of the Harris Boys (I think this one is Don) attack Johnny illegally so I guess the Mamalukes are babyfaces after all. Actually, screw it. Everybody in this match is officially “Bella” as far as their alignment goes.
– Holy shit, is this really not over yet? Much to my amazement, the match is still going as the Harris Twins take control. It should be noted that Vito keeps yelling at Disco to do something to help but he doesn’t know what to do. Whoever booked this match to go this long deserves a gut punch.
– Ya’ll already know I’m on the FAN forum now. A La Resistance appreciation thread? What in the world…
– BRAH, IS THIS SHIT REALLY STILL GOING!?!? For the love of JBL, end this already. In the time that it took the dinosaurs to live and die, there was plenty of dicking around to be had before the Harris Twins finally went for a Spike Piledriver. Big Vito shoved off the Twin that was on the turnbuckle and went up himself, only to be shoved off by Disco Inferno! Luckily for him, he got shoved right into the Harris that was in the ring and covered him for a flash three count! Thank you, merciful Yeezus, this one is over.
– Just a long, boring match that was poorly put together psychology-wise. Not really much else to say about it. The announcers are selling it like Disco wasn’t trying to help the Mamalukes with that shove but he inadvertently helped them win.
– It’s time for the Cruiserweights title match with no actual cruiserweights in it. Well, I suppose Madusa fits the weight requirement but you get what I mean.
Match #4
Cruiserweight Championship
Oklahoma vs. Madusa(c) (w/Nitro Girl Spice)
– This is my first time actually seeing the gimmick and this “Oklahoma” character looks so low-rent. Talk about getting no money, no power, and no respect. This jabroni couldn’t even get money in a game of Monopoly. All he’d have for property is some struggle crack house in one of the cheap areas. Before the match, he cuts a promo where he’s like “boys rule, girls drool.” He then gets some cheap heat but nobody cares that much. He tells Madusa to “bounce her silicon hoots” down to the ring so they can start the match.
– Madusa walks out with a Tampa Bay Buccaneers jersey in support of her (then) husband who used to play for the Bengals. I don’t think the crowd really got it or they just didn’t care. It really could go either way on this show. Whatever the case, I get that you want to support your husband but walking out in another team’s jersey (even if they played for the city at one point) when you’re a babyface is just asking for trouble.
– Madusa isn’t even wearing shoes but guess what move she still uses? WHACKY SPIN KICK~! In a true exhibition in hoeness, Oklahoma decides to play dirty by yanking on his opponent’s hair. Madusa soon fights back and does a headbutt right to the fun sack of Oklahoma. Not a DQ because reasons. Fatty takes forever to get into position for a Dropkick from the top rope but it’s not like it matters at all since the move looked horrible. It was so bad, they literally repeated the spot seconds later.
– Both competitors are moving like they are underwater as Oklahoma hits a DDT. He goes outside to grab the bottle of BBQ Sauce that he brought to the ring but Spice grabs the bottle from him. Who cares, it’s a bottle of barbecue! What, did he load the bottle with a weight? Just in case fans thought things couldn’t get any worse, it’s time for a run-in as some ripped blonde chick named Asia (no idea who this is) attacks the fat guy and throws him in the ring.
– Madusa grabs Oklahoma by the hair but, in a frantic attempt to get free, he pulls down her gear revealing her bikini bottom to the world. Despite the fact that you could easily see her ass if she just lifted up the fur flaps, Madusa is still distracted by this and allows herself to be rolled up for 3! New champion! And yes, of course they screwed up the roll up.
– This match, yo. In a word, awful. In two words, fucking awful. Despite the fact that she lost clean as a sheet (and even had people interfere on her behalf), Madusa is a sore loser as she jumps Oklahoma from behind. The three girls gang up on fatty and pour BBQ Sauce all over him as several WCW fans discovered a new fetish. Then, it’s just over. People paid actual dollars for this. If you feel you’ve made a bad financial decision recently, take comfort in knowing you didn’t do anything as wasteful as that.
– Mene Gene is in the back with Hardcore Champion Brian Knobbs. Knobbs says that he respects Finlay for teaching him but tonight, the student will beat the teacher as he retains his title. Pretty decent promo.
Match #5
Hardcore Championship
4-Way Match
“Screamin” Norman Smiley vs. Meng vs. Fit Finlay vs. Brian Knobbs(c)
– Norman comes out in SWAT gear and is, no joke, the most over guy on the show so far. Knobbs won the title from Norman on the last episode of Thunder. The champ brings out trash cans because he knows this shit about to be trash bags.
– It’s a total free-for-all as Meng makes an early case for “biggest goon in this review series” (Ken Shamrock was the winner in WWF 1999, BTW) by going HAM on both Finlay and Knobbs with stiff slaps. Norman tries to hit Meng in the head with a trash can but he’s a Samoan so of course, he goes “lol” before kicking the can in his face.
– Forgive me as this match is gonna be hard to recap due to it’s chaotic nature and a bunch of stuff happening at once. The action spills to the outside as Meng & Knobbs go at it while Finlay beats the crap out of Smiley. Meng is no selling all kinds of shots to the head (including an unprotected chair shot). I don’t know if this was intentional or not but Finlay & Knobbs are wearing camouflage pants and they look like Dudley Boys cosplayers. Just to add to the likeness, they pull out a table from under the ring.
– The knock-off Dudleys nut Norman on the ring post which really causes him to start screaming. Finlay actually looks like a Guile cosplayer, now that I’m really looking at him. Anyway, him and Norman start brawling in the crowd (I’m confused, I thought the WWF World title wasn’t on the line in the match???).
– Some geek in the front row has a sign that says, “THE GUY BEHIND ME IS GAY.” You have failed the city with that corniness, brah.
– You’d think it was a circlejerk, there’s so much dicking around going on. It’s nothing but mindless brawling, no flow or hint of psychology/pacing. After watching all the whacky WWF hardcore matches, I can tolerate this but this really isn’t setting my world on fire. Eventually, it winds up with Norman and Knobbs in the ring. Smiley does a little jig before trying to whack Knobbs with a night stick but the champ nails him with the plastic SWAT shield. That’s all she wrote as Knobbs covers Norman to retain his title.
– The match was inoffensive. If you liked WWF’s hardcore madness, you probably liked this.
Match #6
Bunkhouse Brawl
Billy Kidman vs. Perry Saturn
– This is the second part of Kidman’s Triple Threat Theatre challenge against the Revolution. Saturn starts out aggressive as he puts the boots to Kidman. Kidman returns fire as he rains down punches on Saturn in the corner before dropping Saturn with a Clothesline. The Kid Man tries to go for the Stratusfaction Bulldog but he ends up getting nutted, causing him to briefly question every decision he had made in his life that lead him to this point. Trying to be fancy, Saturn ended up doing a flying “What’s-a-shit”, one of Alberto Del Rio’s trademark moves.
– Could it be? Yes, the stories are true. This could wind up being a good match!!! Saturn gets the heat on Kidman, lighting up his chest with chops and generally having his way with the smaller man. He even rips on Kidman’s tank top before choking him with it.
– Perry pulling out a table gets a shockingly tepid reaction before Kidman hits him with a Diving Crossbody. I think the first hour killed this crowd as they aren’t reacting much to anything now, including a sweet-ass Headscissors by Kidman. They do react for a Macho Man-style Elbow Drop from Saturn. Saturn goes for a Powerbomb and we all know that means in a Kidman match. Wait. Kidman gets out of the move but Saturn goes for it again and actually hits it! My gawd, this industry will never be the same!
– A missed Moonsault gives Kidman the opening needed to make his comeback, hitting the Stratusfaction Bulldog that he tried to hit earlier. I guess Kidman is down with the brown as he hits the Sky High Powerbomb for a nearfall. The babyface’s momentum is stopped dead when Saturn catches him on a Running Bulldog attempt and suplexes him through the table set up on the outside! Awesome spot. Saturn goes for the cover on the outside but Kidman somehow kicks out!
– Oh, that suplex to the outside almost became a disaster as Kidman came dangerously close to smashing his head off the apron. He still might have hit it. That sucks considering that the apron is the hardest part of the ring. He must not be too banged up as he manages to toss Saturn off the turnbuckle. Both men sell for a bit before Saturn goes for another Powerbomb. If you thought Kidman was gonna be caught slippin’ twice in one match, you are sadly mistaken as he counters it with a Facebuster! He makes the cover and…gets the win? Really, that’s it? It wasn’t even like the Facebuster was on a chair or on the outside or something. It was just a regular old Facebuster. Alrighty then.
– I liked the match on the whole. It didn’t go very long but it was quite easily the best match of the night so far. It was world’s away from that horrendous Cruiserweight title match.
– Our next match is a sibling battle as Booker T is set to take on Stevie Ray. Before the match, we get a video showing Stevie Ray cutting a promo from the hood. I’m not joking. The production is so buttcheeks, I’m having trouble hearing Stevie over the crowd making noise. Stevie says that he’s proud of where he comes from even if Booker isn’t and that he’s gonna make him remember where he comes from. We see Stevie dapping up random dudes on the block, some of them asking where Booker was. “He just don’t come around no more.”, replies Stevie. Stevie even hits up the local barbershop in an attempt to guilt-trip Booker about “forgetting” his past. Basically, Booker is CJ from GTA: San Andreas.
– Just in case the video wasn’t enough to drive home the point that Stevie is mean to his brother now, Stevie cuts another promo backstage with Mene Gene. It’s the same stuff he was saying the video but he adds in the “this is gonna hurt you more than it hurts me” cliche.
Match #7
Booker T (w/ Midnight) vs. Stevie Ray
– Before Stevie comes out, Booker cuts a promo in the ring where he says he hasn’t forgotten where he’s come from. Booker says that he’s done with Stevie and trusts Midnight to watch his back. The Bookman says that Stevie used to call him junior when they were kids but he ain’t junior no more. “So, come on out here and get yo ass whooped like it’s supposed to be done!” Best promo on the show so far.
– The first thing Booker does when Stevie comes out is send Midnight to the back. Lolol, so much for Midnight watching your back. Booker dominates the early goings before taking a flip bump off a Clothesline from Stevie. From there, the match turns into a give and take brawl, with both men getting their licks in. Nothing spectacular but it’s well worked.
– Eventually, Booker plants his bro with the Book End as Ahmed Johnson runs out. He hits the ring and attacks Booker for the instant DQ! His shirt kinda makes it look like he didn’t wear a shirt but he forgot to put on lotion so he ashy AF. Stevie caps off the beatdown by hitting a Double Underhook Piledriver (less Pedigree, more Christopher Daniels’ Angel Wings).
Go upstairs and put on some lotion!
– Midnight has come back out as her man takes a nasty Tiger Bomb from Ahmed. Stevie hands Ahmed, who’s new name is Big T, a mic. Big T says he can’t believe Booker turned his back on family for a piece of fish! Is Midnight related to Lana, by any chance? Big T then says, “Let me tell you something, fish. It’s about time yo ass got fried too!” Well, that sure doesn’t have horrifying implications. Stevie calls him and Big T “the new Harlem Heat” before bailing, leaving Booker beaten in the ring.
– I enjoyed this match too. It was simple but very well done. The finish was kinda wack but there wasn’t anything wrong with it, really.