ALISON BRIE IS HAVING TOO MUCH SEX DO I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION?
As we all know, it is scientifically impossible for a heterosexual man and a heterosexual woman to be ‘just friends’. Once a man and a woman try to be friends, a biological time bomb is released, if not treated by a last-ditch dash to the airport and a passionate list of quirky minutiae with 6-12 months, both of the afflicted will suffer total skeletal collapse and Spontaneous Organ Blending, leaving both puddles of human. This goes double if the two friends are trying to maintain a sexual relationship during their futile friendship. The latest government-mandated informational film to explain this danger is Sleeping With Other People, which now has a trailer.
Sleeping With Other People presents a pair that are actually avoiding the usual ‘friends with benefits’ situation; sex addicts who are trying to preserve their friendship by actively avoiding sex as much as possible, though again we all know the specter of Spontaneous Organ Blending looms. Though even a half-glance at the trailer will make every single plot beat appear instantly in the mind’s eye, Sleeping With Other People looks to have a degree of wit to it and features charming, funny performers such as Alison Brie, Natasha Lyonne and Jason Mantzoukas. Also Jason Sudeikas is there.
And remember: serve your nation! Warn a friend of the opposite sex about the dangers of being ‘Just Friends’ today!
CHILDREN TRAUMATISED BUT IN A FUNNY WAY
Now, children being terrified is no laughing matter, but on the other hand, yes it is, so I’m pretty delighted to talk about this movie mix-up at a cinema in Middleton that led to a theatre of children being shown Insidious: Chapter 3 instead of Pixar’s Inside Out. In fairness, those are two pretty similar titles, also in fairness: ha ha ha.
The Journal News outlines how local woman Jazmyn Moore took five children to see the latest CGI feels fest, but were instead shown images of children being tied up and killed on screen (okay, that’s maybe not so funny), quickly prompting the adults in the audience to scoop up their screaming and crying kids and escort them out post haste. The Journal News is thoughtful enough to provide an explanation of the respective premises of Inside Out and Insidious, hopefully averting any similar problems occurring with the Mr Magoos running projection booths across America.
“I got our money back but the damage is already done … my children are terrified and keep asking questions,” Moore said in her Facebook post, which is basically the kind of thing older people say in every Facebook post. Everybody involved received a free pass and a 3D upgrade, so this story has a happy ending, in addition to its hilarious beginning and middle.