After the insanity of last week’s Aztec Warfare, things come back to normal with my favorite sight: Dario Cueto talking! Episode 10 opens up with Cueto in his office chatting with Fenix about his performance in last week’s match, and this obviously means that Cueto’s planning to make a deal. Fenix is reminded that he almost won the whole damn match and he’s getting a shot at the World Championship because of it. Cueto asks him to destroy Puma which is weird since Mundo is the one he’s been beefing with.
Our first match is a Fatal Four-Way Elimination featuring four debuts! First up is Aero Star, who looks like the WWE Immortals version of John Cena but with a mask included. Next up is Argenis who, unlike Aero Star, does not hail from The Cosmos. Points off for that, but points included for rocking those white and pink tights. The 3rd man in the match is Angelico, a high-flyer from South Africa followed up by THEY CALL HIM CAGE! THEY CALL HIM CAGE is jacked to the gills, I mean good lord. It’s like he took a good look at Ryback and thought “Heh, look at this twig, I could blow that out of water”.
All three non-machines gang up on THEY CALL HIM CAGE to get him out of the match and then fight among themselves. Argenis hits a moonsault onto the Machine, Aero Star launches himself onto them, and then Angelico just jumps on top of all of them and lands on his feet! Angelico proved to the world that South African men can jump with hops like those.
Eventually, THEY CALL HIM CAGE comes back into the ring and just destroys AAA all by one to get the win. He then grabs a mic to remind everyone exactly his name is, because Vampiro just didn’t mention that he was a machine enough times. Cage is incredibly agile, but having three monster heels on a roster meant for a one-hour show kinda feels like overkill to me.
Should’ve stayed in the Cosmos, bud.
We return from commercial break to see that Chavo is the ring waiting to confront Blue Dey-mon Jr. after his return last week. Blue Demon steps inside the ring awaiting an apology of Chavo, but Chavo just starts dissing the hell out of him, his mask, and his familia. He pulls out the pair of brass knuckles he borrowed from William Regal, but Blue Demon sees it and blocks Chavito’s punch! I laughed for a few good minutes because of how damn dumb that plan was. And then Blue Demon gives him the double-bird salute and I spend a few more minutes busting a gut.
Our second match of the night is King Cuerno vs Drago III. This feud doesn’t look like it’ll end anytime soon, and that is kinda concerning since the last thing Lucha Underground needs is endless rematches week-after-week. Drago and Cuerno brawl for a bit until Drago finds a table and knocks Cuerno onto it. Drago scales Cueto’s office next to the table and OH MY GOD, HE HITS A 20 FOOT DROP ON HIM!
After the service for their funerals, we get right to our main event! Fenix and Puma hit each other with all they’ve got to start off the match, and this is surprisingly psychological to begin with. Take that, “it’s just a bunch of spotmonkeys”dweebs! This is a nice way to cap off the episode, and we see a jaw-dropping move in it with Puma countering a kick in the ropes from Fenix by tight-roping the damn top rope and giving him a kick to the face! Your world champion, everybody! Puma performs the 630 Splash on Fenix to retain the gold.
Puma’s got no time to celebrate though as THEY CALL HIM CAGE rushes to ring from outta nowhere and mauls the hell out of him! Nice callback to the previous episodes as we now know that he’s been the mercenary that Cueto hired to take out Puma this whole time. Life just never gets easier for silent feline-themed men, I tell ya.