Unforgiven (Part 1)
September 26th, 1999
LIVE from the Charlotte Coliseum in Charlotte, North Carolina
Attendance: 15,779
Coming off a hot Summerslam show, we now move onto the September PPV, Unforgiven. September PPVs…hmm. Not really much to say. It’s not uncommon for them to be decent/good shows but they are rarely memorable. I certainly can’t name one off the top of my head that blew me away. This show was headlined by a Six-Pack Challenge for the vacant WWF Championship between HHH, Mankind, Kane, Big Show, The Rock, and The British Bulldog. Now, I know what you are thinking looking at those names. One of them shouldn’t be there and I agree 100%. Can we PLEASE get that stupid bastard Big Show out of the title picture? Stupidity doesn’t deserve to succeed. It’s also worth noting that this was the first PPV in 99’ to not have Stone Cold as an actual competitor in the main event. He was still in the main event though since he was the special ref for the contest. Now, enough of the boring background information. Let’s get to the show!
– As always, the show starts with a video package hyping up the main event. It basically says that six warriors will go to battle tonight all for the chance to be the WWF champion. Kinda goes without saying but it’s really well done.
– Alright, I can’t avoid the elephant in the room any more. Why in the actual fuck is British Bulldog in the main event? What in the world is going on on this show? I need some video packages explaining that ASAP. Actually, hold on, let me get out the Hawk Jefferson signal.
– While I’m waiting for that, let’s move on with the show. So, one of the big storylines in the company during this time was that all the refs were on strike. Because of this, scab refs (not making that up) have been brought in to call the matches.
Match #1
Val Venis vs. Steve “Hater of the” Blackman
– For some reason, Venis comes out carrying Blackman’s martial arts weapons. Lawler reads my mind by implying that Venis has been using them as sex toys.
– “They buzz and they make noise and…THEY VIBRATE!~” – Jerry Lawler having a passionate discussion about sex toys with JR. King was on some other shit in 99’, haha.
– Before the match, Venis grabs a mic and addresses all the ladies in the crowd. He makes a crack about being blown from one end of the state to the other. Corny but I laughed.
– No video package so don’t even bother asking me what the background behind this match is. Blackman starts swinging as soon as he gets in the ring but Venis quickly gains control.
– Lawler is talking about sex toys as Blackman catches Venis with a Dropkick. They dick around on the outside for a bit before Blackman crotches Venis on the top ring rope. No, that’s how he makes a living!
– Blackman takes time out to do a “look at this cocky cocky heel” pose before continuing his assault on Venis’ dick with an Atomic Drop. Time for some more dicking around on the outside as Blackman continues to get the heat on Venis by tossing him into the steps and ramming him back-first into the ring post. Lawler informs us that Rock and Bulldog will start off the match in the main event.
– Back in the ring, Blackman works over Venis’ back. From what I’m gathering from the announcers, Bulldog is in the main event because Taker took his ball and went home on Smackdown.
– Venis counters a Back Body Drop attempt and both men are down. Venis starts making his comeback, laying out Stevie with a Russian Leg Sweep. The porn star (not Blackman, in case you got confused) gyrates over his opponent before going for a pin. Somehow, Blackman managed to survive the heat coming off of the gyrations and kicks out.
– “You know my movie with Jim Carrey called ‘Man on the Moon’ is coming out at Christmas? Well, Val said he’s working on a movie called ‘Man IN the Moon!’”- The King. That shit left JR silent for a few seconds, haha.
– Blackman hits a sloppy looking Spinebuster for a near fall. After rolling through with a Crossbody, Venis connects with a Running Bulldog out of the corner. Looks like it’s time for this match to reach it’s climax as Val hits the Money Shot! That’s all she wrote.
– A nothing match, really. It was about as basic as a PPV opener can get. Nothing wrong with it but it just kinda came and went without making any real impact on me. There was no real flow to the match, they just did some stuff and had a finish.
– After the match, Venis grabs Blackman’s bag of weapons and tries to grab a Kendo Stick. Blackman stops him, however, and lays the porn star out with a vicious Kendo Stick shot to the head that all but destroys the stick. BTW, I’m like 99% sure the ref is The Brooklyn Brawler. Medical personnel are called down to the ring to help Venis. Blackman harasses the female nurse of the group before being tackled to the ground by…the head of WWF security? Apparently, this dude’s name is Jim Dotson. He’s a pretty big dude and for what it’s worth, the crowd popped for him tackling Blackman. Embarrassed at getting his ass whooped by the Late 90’s WWF equivalent of Gunner, Blackman pouts and heads to the back while medical staff and Dotson check on Venis who has went night night n****.
– Gotta say this. I hate hate HATE when a dude gets laid out immediately after winning a match. Especially when they are supposed to be a babyface and they only got their ass whooped because they tried to use weapons after a match and it backfired. Venis came off like such a goober here. It’s not like Blackman got any heat from it either since he got punked by a freaking security guard. Really counter-productive booking here.
– Backstage, our good buddy Michael “Black As” Cole is interviewing the Big Show in the locker room area. Cole asks Show where the hell Taker is. Show is angered by the question and asks Cole if he took a stupid pill today. Talk about the mouth-breathing pot calling the kettle black. Show actually cuts a good promo where he says that people need to start focusing on him since he’s on the roster (unlike Taker) and that he will use the lessons he’s learned from the tough love given to him to win the WWF title tonight.
– Before we get onto the next match, my Hawk signal has been responded to. SO. HHH beat Mankind for the title on the Raw after Summerslam. The reason why he didn’t just win it at Summerslam was that Ventura really didn’t want to raise the hand of a heel to close out to the show because he was already under fire from the press at the time. Anyway, Vince beat HHH for the title in a match on Smackdown. Because Vince isn’t, you know, not a full time wrestler, he vacated the title. So, that’s how we got the main event.
Match #2
European Championship
“Sexual Chocolate” Mark Henry(c) vs. D-Lo Brown
– Here’s the story behind this one. Henry and D-Lo were tight for a long time before Henry was told that he was too fat to wrestle. D-Lo tried to help his buddy lose some weight and stop being such a fatty. Henry got mad at that dieting and exercising bullshit so he cost D-Lo the Euro-Continental title at Summerslam and aligned with Jeff Jarrett. Thanking Henry for his help, Jarrett handed Henry the European title because lol, it’s the European title. Now, it’s time for these former best friends to fight to determine the champion of Europe! WORLD STAR! WORLD STAR!
– Before the match, Henry tries to mack on Lilian Garcia but gets curbed.
– Sexual Chocolate lives up to his name by coming out with two chicks. Also, just noticed Howard Finkle is doing the announcing so I guess he somehow took Tony Chimel spot.
– Before the match, Henry gets on the mic and says that there won’t be a European title match tonight, even going as far as to send his female friends backstage and tell them to start the car. In classic heel fashion, Henry claims that Lillian’s slap was so devastating, he must have had a “brain-urisim.” Therefore, he can’t compete tonight. D-Lo ain’t having none of that, though, and comes out to brawl with Henry on the ramp. Henry gets the better of the exchange and sends D-Lo face-first into the post. Tom Pritchard is the scab ref for this match and he’s wearing blue pants for some reason. Stupid because you aren’t supposed to notice the ref during matches but I can’t stop focusing on these ridiculous blue pants.
– Anyway, Pritchard calls for the bell and this match is underway. D-Lo and Henry have a fun back-and forth exchange before D-Lo hits the Sky High Powerbomb outta nowhere! Too early in the match though so Henry kicks out. The Brown man hits a Forearm off the top rope but again, Henry kicks out.
– Henry accidentally nuts himself on the ropes after missing a splash thingy. Henry tries to roll outside to recover but D-Lo shows why he’s “that dude” and hits Hernandez’s Air Mexico Suicide Dive. lol, why am I assuming that most of my readers watch TNA? That’s where a guy dives over the top ring rope instead of going through the middle and top ropes. Imagine Undertaker’s whacky Wrestlemania dive but this time, the guy doesn’t almost die doing it. D-Lo is over as hell.
– A Crossbody off the top gets a nearfall for D-Lo. Catching the Brown Man as he’s coming off the ropes, Henry actually hits the World’s Strongest Slam but I guess that’s not his finisher at this point as D-Lo kicks out of it to little fanfare. Henry starts getting the heat on D-Lo, taking time out here and there to flex for the gram.
– Henry hits that splash thingy he was trying to hit earlier and D-Lo does an awesome job selling it. Really made the move seem devastating.
– Apparently, Henry thought D-Lo was jealous because Sexual Chocolate gets more butt than an ashtray while D-Lo is sitting over there looking like Kevin Kelly because he gets no money, no power, and no respect.
– After getting beat on for a long while, D-Lo finally manages to turn the tide by snapping off a Hurricarana. D-Lo starts making a comeback and runs wild on Henry, getting a nearfall off a Leg Drop. Henry cuts him off and tries to do the ten punches in the corner deal but D-Lo counters with a super sloppy Powerbomb. TBF, that spot could have went a lot worse considering how big Henry is.
– Looks like D-Lo is feeling froggy as he heads to the top rope and hits the Lo-Down! One three count later and we got a new champion! HA HA, THE CROWD LOVES IT, MAGGLE.
– Good match. It was about as basic as a match can get (face gets shine to start off the match, heel gets heat, babyface makes a comeback and wins) but it was really well done.
– Backstage with Micheal Cole, The Acolytes cut a promo talking about their upcoming match with those damn Dudleys. It’s actually a real good promo. Bradshaw says that they murked Public Enemy so they’ll have no problem murking the Dudleys as well. Farooq chimes in and says that the only similarity between the Acolytes and the Dudleys is that they are both interracial teams. In the middle of this great heel promo, there’s some kind of ruckus occurring as a bunch of bodies are brawling with each other. I see the Hollys and some dude named “Chaz.” That’s Droz, isn’t it? I think this is supposed to be one of those shitty “worked shoots” that Russo loves so much as Chaz gets kicked out of the locker room for instigating the fight. Apparently, this dude beats his girlfriend. That’s pretty uncomfortable, honestly. Like, I watch wrestling to escape from reality. I’ve known enough bitch-ass dudes that beat women, I don’t need to see it in my wrestling as well.
– Backstage, Debra is with Miss Kitty cutting a promo on…something. Not sure what, honestly. Something about “Jen”, whoever that is. Anyway, Jeff Jarrett comes in and tells Debra to stay out of his business. He then drags Miss Kitty off and I don’t get it.
– SO, apparently Jarrett was beating women as well as Chyna stopped him from putting the Figure Four on a female stagehand. Dude, how badly did Russo get friend-zoned as he was growing up to hate women this much? I’m sorry but it is not normal to write a show where you have two different characters that beat women, even if they are supposed to be villainous. In fact, it’s actually pretty damn lazy. Also, Chyna took off Jarrett’s tights and put them on herself to send a message. Get it? Because now she’s wearing the “pants in the family?” So dumb, haha.
Debra could slap my nuts. …Wait.
Match #3
Intercontinental Championship
Jeff Jarrett (w/ Miss Kitty) vs. Chyna
– It’s worth noting that in both title matches, the champion came out first. So, it’s not like WWE just started doing that recently.
– JR is talking some bullshit about how embarrassing it would be for a man to lose a major title to a woman and King rightfully calls him out on that sexist viewpoint. Yes, JERRY LAWLER was a defender of women’s rights here.
– Chyna comes out to “My Time” and actually gets cheered as she comes out despite being the top heel’s main squeeze. Jarrett starts stomping on the Ninth Wonder of the World as soon as she gets in the ring. After choking Chyna on the ring ropes, Jarrett goes for that same whacky splash thingy Henry went for earlier but, much like Henry, he nuts himself on the ropes.Chyna puts the champ on the backfoot with some Shoulder Tackles and Clotheslines before hitting a low blow right in front of the ref (who is Harvey Whippleman). Of course, as I’m sure you’ve guessed if you’ve paid any kind of attention in this series, not a DQ.
– Since Chyna attacked his genitals, Jarrett returns the favor by…nutting her? Would that be the right way to phrase for it with a chick? Maybe “cootchie posting?” Whatever, he drives Chyna vagina first into the ringpost. Ouchie. Again, not a DQ. Speaking of which, that got me thinking. If a diva kicked another diva right in the pink in front of the ref, would that be a DQ? The world may never know…
– I know people mostly remember her as being a hot mess (rightfully so) but Chyna is pretty tough. Jarrett just stiffed the hell out of her with one of his punches. Double J beats on Chyna on the outside for a bit before hitting a Crossbody off the top. He gets a nearfall but Chyna actually tosses Jarrett off of her. Even the champ is like “damn, this bitch is strong.”
– Chyna takes a Ric Flair style bump into the turnbuckles and winds up on the apron. She catches Jarrett with a Clothesline and tries to do a dive off the top. Unfortunately, she once again imitates Flair as Jarrett cuts her off and hits a Superplex.
– Double J talks some smack to Mae Young and the Fabulous Moolah (damn, just got kinda bummed remembering that they are both gone now) before Chyna hits him with an Electric Chair Drop. After both sell on the mat for a bit, Jarrett slaps on a Sleeper. Jarrett is a great heel, I gotta say. Wippleman checks Chyna’s arm but of course, Chyna fights her way out of the hold after refusing to let her arm drop for a third time. Double J goes for another Sleeper but Chyna counters with a Suplex. The crowd is really into this one.
– Chyna hits a Powerslam on Jarrett to a big pop only to get a nearfall. After getting back to his feet, Jarrett, the old-school Southern heel, seemingly goes for a HURRICARANA. That would have been nuts to see but Chyna counters it into a Powerbomb for another nearfall.
– Apparently, Chyna decides that she’s way more Lucha than Jarrett so she goes for a Hurricarana of her own. Nope, Jarrett hits a Powerbomb of his own. The champ tries to put the match to bed with the Figure Four but Chyna kicks her way out of it before it’s fully applied, sending Jarrett flying to the outside!
– On the outside, Chyna hits Jarrett with a chair with the ref looking directly at her. Not a DQ. Ok, I think the storyline of the night is that all of these scab refs are super incompetent and thus, don’t disqualify people when they should. It would be a much more effective storyline IF THIS SHIT DIDN’T HAPPEN ALL THE TIME ON PPV’S IN 99. Seriously, I’m more surprised when the rules are actually enforced while watching these shows.
– Jarrett gets Back Body Dropped onto the Spanish Announce Table. After throwing the champ back in the ring, Chyna decides to bury Jarrett by hitting the Pedigree but Jarrett counters it by Catapulting her into the ref. Whippleman goes down faster than Hogan after taking a fireball to the face from a photographer as Jarrett decides that it’s time to use the Acoustic Equalizer. Miss Kitty hands him the guitar but before he can use it…Mae Young and Moolah hit the ring!? Swear to God, these two old women straight up kick Jarrett’s ass and hit him with a Double Suplex. What a burial, haha. The women try to hit Double J with a Double Clothesline but Jarrett lays them both out. Lawler thinks it’s the funniest thing he’s ever seen and starts cackling which causes me to laugh as well. God, wrestling is messed up.
– Holy heel, Batman. Jarrett actually kicks the women while they are down and sends them out of the ring. Wait, here comes Debra! She’s like “move, ho” to Miss Kitty and shoves her down before going in the ring and smashing Jarrett’s own guitar over his head as he’s trying to put the Figure Four on Chyna. Chyna manages to throw an arm over Jarrett’s chest and we got a new champion!
– OK. I’m sure that match sounded kinda bad in text and it was overbooked. And yes, it was beyond ridiculous that a grown ass man got beat up by two senior citizens. BUT, the crowd was super into Moolah and Young beating Jarrett’s ass and went nuts when Chyna picked up the win. If anything, this is a perfect example of how to do overbooking right. It was one of those things that’s better when you actually see it for yourself instead of just reading what happened in the match.
– Hol’ up. Seems like we have a dispute going on between the scab refs as Tom Pritchard confronts Wippleman. For possibly the first time in wrestling, common sense is used when dealing with a screwy finish as a video replay of Debra hitting Jarrett with the guitar is played on the titantron for the ref to see. Uh-oh, Spaghetti-O’s. Pritchard is reversing the decision and disqualifying Chyna. Jarrett is still the champion! BOOOOOOOOOOO. (AJ)
– A furious Chyna starts beating the crap out of Pritchard. The crowd is eating it up as Chyna lays out the head scab ref with a low blow and a Pedigree. Again, this whole thing may sound overbooked in text but to me, it came off really well in execution. It advanced the storyline with Jarrett finally getting his comeuppance for being a woman beater while at the same time managing to retain his title by the skin of his teeth because of those damn scab refs. On top of all of that, Chyna got put over as a badass chick by killing Pritchard all by herself and going toe-to-toe with the Intercontinental Champion. I shit on Russo a lot but he did good here. I give this whole thing two thumbs up.
– A worthless recap of Austin promising that a new WWF champion will be crowned tonight on Sunday Night Heat is played. It took me longer to write this than it did for the actual clip to play. Why even bother?
Match #4
The Dudleys vs. The Acolytes
– The Dudleys are still rocking the tie-dye from their ECW days. Mae Young and Moolah are shown getting helped to the back as Lawler, being a complete douche, makes a crack about them soiling their depends.
– Hey, remember when Bubba Ray had a speech impediment? He stutters his way through saying that Charlotte sucks. Thank god the stuttering part of his gimmick got dropped pretty quickly because this is pretty lame. It really shows the arrogance of WWF/E and how they straight up ignore a wrestler’s past accomplishments. They took this guy that was known for being a heat monster in ECW and cut these legendary promos that almost had crowds rioting. So, what do they do when they finally get their hands on him? They make him stutter so it’s impossible to take his promos seriously. Just…why?
– D-Von gets the mic and says that although the Acolytes sold their souls to the dark side, their asses belong to the Dudleys! “Thou shall not steal, thou shall not kill, and thou shall not mess with the Dudleys!”- D-Von. It gets overlooked because Bubba does most of the talking for the team but D-Von is a pretty good promo guy in his own right.
– This match looks to be a Slobber Knocker as all four men brawl to start out the match. By the way, every single match on this show has started in a similar fashion. It gets old after a while, honestly. Bubba and Farooq are chosen to be the legal men as Farooq is just hammering away at Bubba in the corner. Oh and this time, an official WWF ref is reffing this one as he crossed the picket line.
– Bubba and Farooq do some give and take brawling before Bradshaw gets tagged in the Acolytes his a Double Flapjack on Bubba. Bradshaw works the stutter master over for a bit before Bubba fights back and hits a Senton off the middle turnbuckle. Lawler is still laughing about two old women getting laid out. Tremendous.
– D-Von is forced to come in and break up the pin after Bradshaw hits a Superplex. A Bradshaw tackle sends both the Texan and Bubba through the ropes. Crowd doesn’t care at all. I attribute that to there being no clear cut faces or heels in this match.
– Bubba ducks under a Clothesline From Hell and hits a Belly to Belly Suplex. D-Von gets tagged in for the first time and takes down Bradshaw with a Shoulder Tackle. Not gonna lie, I’ve started checking out the FAN forum. It is weird that Big Show has such a good record at Survivor Series, isn’t it? Can’t believe I’m almost 3/4’s of the way done with this year. If you haven’t checked already, I have a poll up in the series thread on FAN asking readers which time period they would prefer for me to tackle once I’m done with 99’. Rock the vote.
– After switching back to the Network feed, I see Stevie Richards run in, dressed like an Acolyte, lay out D-Von with a Stevie Kick. Farooq covers the black Dudley and this one is over! Boring match.
– LMAO, Richards has the UPN logo on his chest. Since he helped them win, Stevie offers the Acolytes a handshake. Farooq accepts it at first but quickly turns on Stevie and lays him out with a Dominator. Just so Bradshaw can get in on the murking fun, they drag Stevie back to his feet just so they can kill him again with a Double Powerbomb. Just to be a dick, Farooq shakes the unconscious Stevie’s hand.
– Backstage, Luna is hyping herself up as she prepares for her upcoming Women’s title Hardcore match with Ivory. Suddenly, Ivory appears behind and sneak attacks her with a trash can to the back. Luna no-sells it and starts fighting back so I guess the match starts now.
Match #5
Women’s Championship
Hardcore Match
Ivory(c) vs. Luna
– CAT FIGHT! CAT FIGHT! They brawl all over the backstage area and eventually make it to a production room where Luna makes copies of Ivory’s face. After hitting her with a phone (OUCH), Luna slowly stalks Ivory as she tries to run away and create some distance between the two. The game of cat and mouse ends as Ivory places a trash can on top of Sable’s head head and tries to pin her. Harvey Whippleman won’t count because Luna’s shoulders aren’t down. No shit, she was on her stomach.
– After tossing Ivory onto a pile of cardboard boxes, Luna climbs on top of a forklift and splashes onto the champ. Ivory somehow manages to kick out. Jesus, the last time I saw a spot that dangerous was when John Cena splashed onto Ryback through a table at Extreme Rules 2013.
“WEEEEEEE!”
– Ivory’s booty shorts are outstanding. Luna begins choking Ivory with a broom handle but the champ isn’t going down that easily. She turns the tide and tries to hit Luna with a broom handle of her own but Tori runs in to make the save. Ivory stiffs (and by stiff, I mean “I don’t fuck with YOU, I got a million trillion things I’d rather fucking do” stiff) Tori with some punches before hitting Luna with the broomstick anyway and getting the win. Again. Why even bother having a run-in if it doesn’t affect the finish in any way, shape, or form? ESPECIALLY WHEN IT’S ON BEHALF OF THE BABYFACE? Whatever, Ivory retains. Pretty heroic for a heel to fight off two girls all by herself.
– Swear to god, Ivory barely has time to raise her hands in victory and shout “yes! before the camera cuts to Lilian Garcia standing by with Moolah and Mae Young. Thought I was watching TNA Impact for a second.
Lawler is still laughing at Mae and Moolah