WWF Smackdown!: Episode 1 (technically 2 but shhh)
August 26th, 1999
TAPED from the Kemper Arena in Kansas, Missouri
Attendance: ??? (can’t find it anywhere online)
You know, there was a time from like 2003-2006 where I considered Smackdown to be “my” show. I watched Raw but if there was ever a brand war, you bet your ass I was supporting the blue brand. I was all about Smackdown. Sadly, the show is basically a televised house show nowadays with pretty much anything noteworthy that happens on the show being replayed on Raw three days later. It didn’t always used to be like that. In fact, believe it or not, there actually was a time when Smackdown was treated as a pretty big deal. That brings us to the debut episode of Smackdown which aired on UPN four days after Summerslam. This show was headlined by newly crowned WWF champion HHH, who had won the title on the Raw after Summerslam, defending the title against the Rock. Now, EVERYBODY ON THE GROUND! Let’s get into this show.
– To start off the show, we get a video recap of how HHH won the WWF title the night after Summerslam on Raw. After breaking JR’s arm, HHH was granted a title match by Shane where Shane was the special ref. Of course, Shane ended up screwing Mankind by distracting him long enough for HHH to hit him with an unprotected chair shot and pin him with the Pedigree. Rock, who was doing commentary, also took a chair shot because HHH is such a heel, guys “You break his (JR) arm, you don’t get a title shot!”- Mankind. Awesome.
– Lots of pyro and ballyhoo for this debut episode as JR and The King are identified as our announcers. Once all the excitement dies down, “My Time” hits as newly crowned WWF Champion HHH comes out with his main squeeze Chyna. Am I wrong for saying that I would smash Chyna? Because, it feels kinda wrong.
– I guess Smackdown isn’t a “No Flex Zone” as HHH comes out with no shirt and jeans. HHH says that he usually has two words for the crowd but tonight, he has four. Before he can say them, the crowd bombards him with “Asshole!” chants. “Maybe so…but the fact of the matter is, I AM THE WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION CHAMPION!”- HHH. That was way more than four words. The Rock, watching on a monitor, looks displeased backstage at HHH being so shitty at math.
– HHH says that he had to deal with tons of backstage politics to get to where he is at and break through that glass ceiling. So, he hates backstage politics but only when they hurt his career. Of course. HHH once again reminds the crowd that he is the WWF champion.
– HHH continues to ride his own nuts and puts over how he crippled Austin and beat Mankind for the title in two days. He says that anybody can come after his title, he’ll beat them because he is that damn good. That includes “The People’s Ass.” Right on cue, the Rock’s music hits and the crowd goes nuts as the Great One heads out onto the soundstage with a mic in hand.
– Rocky does his “Finally, the Rock has come back to (insert your hometown here)!” before calling HHH a Jabroni for running his mouth on the Rock’s show. “Well, the Rock says that if you are The Game, you need to go back to the drawing board because your game absolutely sucks!” Rock says that he’s gonna beat HHH’s monkey ass tonight and become the WWF champ. HHH talks some cornball stuff about how Rock needs to be in his league if he’s gonna play the game before telling Rock to GTFO. Rock gives the champ “The People’s Eyebrow” in response. It’s silly but it’s also great. It’s a look that screams “I know this dude did not just say that to me.”
– According to Rock, his shirt costs $800. Rock and HHH bicker back and forth with the Rock threatening to shove the WWF title up HHH’s ass and the champ saying that the Great One can’t even hold his jock. Rock tells HHH to know his role and shut his mouth for interrupting him when he is speaking! Rocky claims that the crowd is chanting his name and, like a goddamn ventriloquist act, the crowd starts chanting for him on his command. Even though his material can get grating at times, especially in recent years, there is a reason why Rock is considered one of the all-time great promo cutters. He has the crowd eating out his hands. If he said jump, they’d ask how high.
– Rock says he’s gonna turn his $600 shoe and shove it up HHH’s ass. You know a man is wealthy when he can spend $600 on something and decide with no hesitation that it needs to go up another man’s ass. Before Rock and HHH can come to blows, WWF Commissioner Shawn Michaels comes out. HBK makes the WWF title match between Rock and HHH tonight official and makes himself the special ref. Hold on, let’s stop and play my favorite game in the world when it comes to wrestling. “Pretend that this is all real.” SO, you mean that WWF had no scheduled main event for the debut episode of their brand new TV show? Seriously, what if Rock didn’t come out here and insist on getting a title shot? Was the show just gonna end after some shitty Steve Blackman match or something?
A white suit jacket with blue jeans. More like the No Fucks Kid
– HBK is drugged up out of his mind as he essentially books the same match like two or three times in the same promo. Jeez, I knew he was bad at this point but something about him just seems…not right on this particular evening. Before HBK can saunter off to go listen to some more Pink Floyd, Shane O’ Mac appears out of nowhere and takes HHH’s mic. Shane tries to appoint himself as the second special ref for the title match but is informed by the Commish that he is already booked tonight. See, since Shane wrestled a “**** match” (swear to god, HBK actually calls it ****. Someone look that up and see if Dave Meltzer actually gave that match **** because it deserved it) against Test at Summerslam, that means that he is technically a wrestler and that HBK can book him in whatever kind of match he wants. Tonight, it’s gonna be Shane vs. the man he screwed out of the title three days earlier, Mankind! Because this segment needs more talking, Mankind walks out onto the soundstage with a mic.
– “All of this talk of stroking and screwing has got Mankind a little bit excited!”- Mankind. If that wasn’t funny enough, Foley says “Why put off until today what we can do tomorrow!?” This nonsensical phrase actually prompts a confused “…what?” from both announcers. FUN FACT: Presumably as a rib on Foley, Kevin Nash used a very similar phrase in a promo on TNA Impact ten years later. Foley parodies the Rock’s promo by saying that he’s gonna take off all his cheap ass clothes and listen to the dozens (“AND DOZENS!”) of Mankind fans chant his name. Foley inadvertently buries himself because instead of the big pop that he was expecting when planning out this promo, it really might be a few dozen people that are half-heartedly chanting “Mankind.” Poor guy. I think that a lot of people were still confused by that goofy phrase from earlier.
– Rock basically goes “fuck this noise” and hits the ring to brawl with HHH. Mankind also gets in the ring to beat up Shane as the Mean Street Posse run down to try and make the save. Of course, they get their asses whooped as Rock lays out two members of the Goof Troop with Rock Bottoms. I thought for sure Foley was gonna do his version of the Rock Bottom on the last member of the group but he just tosses him out of the ring instead. The Brahma Bull’s music plays as the babyfaces stand tall to close out the segment.
– HHH’s promo work was kinda boring but I enjoyed everyone else in this segment.
– Later tonight, there is gonna be a Triple-Threat Tag Team match for the tag titles between Undertaker & Big Show, Kane-Pac, and the Acolytes. Also, Chris Jericho makes his WWF in-ring debut as he takes on Road Dogg.
– We see Jeff Jarrett walking backstage with Debra and some other blond chick in a tight dress. It goes maybe three seconds before they cut away to Mr. Ass walking backstage. They go head to head, NEXT!
Match #1
Non-title
Jeff Jarrett (w/ Debra’s puppies and random blond skank’s puppies) vs. “Mr. Ass” Billy Gunn
– Here’s the set up for this one. Jarrett put out an open challenge that he would beat anybody for the IC title. Gunn wanted the shot but Chyna signed the contract before Gunn could. This lead to a confrontation in the ring between Chyna and Gunn where Jarrett ran in and smashed a guitar over the back of Chyna’s head. As Jarrett was celebrating, Gunn took another guitar from the random blond chick and smashed that over Jarrett’s head. It’s hilarious to me that Jarrett would bring two guitars to the ring because why wouldn’t he?
– Apparently, the random blonde chick’s real name is Miss Kitty. I THINK that might be The Kat who would later marry Jerry Lawler but I’m not sure.
– Jesus, they aren’t even calling him Billy Gunn anymore. He’s just “MR. ASS.”
– Jarrett starts stomping away on Mr. Ass as soon as he gets in the ring to gain control of the match in the early goings. Gunn quickly makes a comeback and hits a Powerslam for a nearfall. Seeing that her man is in trouble, Debra hops on the apron and distracts Ass so that Jarrett can regain control.
– Jarrett ducks under a Crossbody attempt from Ass causing Gunn to go sprawling to the outside. I’m sure I’ve said this before but Gunn is super athletic and can move really well for a bigger guy. After throwing him face-first into the ring post, Jarrett throws Mr. Ass back in the ring as the crowd suddenly comes down with a case of thirst and chants for puppies.
– Chyna walks out from the back as Gunn misses a Stinger Splash in the corner. Miss Kitty tries to hand Jarrett his guitar but Chyna confiscates it. She tries to hit Kitty with it but ends up hitting Debra after Kitty moves out of the way! Jarrett, worried about his precious puppies possibly being damaged ( and also angry that he has to buy another goddamn guitar), is distracted by this and gets rolled up by Gunn, who has a handful of tights, for a three count. Mr. Ass wins it!
– Jarrett no-sells the loss as he heads to the outside to check on Debra. Meanwhile, in the ring, Chyna shows off that she just got her degree in bitch-ology by low blowing Mr. Ass. Yes, this is a 3-way feud where every single person involved is a heel.
– The match itself was about as decent as a two minute TV match between two heels can be.
– Backstage with Lilian Garcia, Al Snow begs Big Bossman to bring his precious dog Pepper to Smackdown tonight in good health. Swear to god, in the middle of this dramatic plea for mercy, the camera cuts Snow off by cutting away to Howard Finkle shining Chris Jericho’s shoe. That’s some TNA Impact-style production right there, haha.
– After commercials, Test is shown backstage nervously awaiting the arrival of Stephanie McMahon so he can know her answer to his wedding proposal.
Match #2
Tag Team Championship
Triple Threat Tag Match
Kane-Pac vs. The Acolytes vs. The Undertaker & Big Show (w/ Paul Bearer)(c)
– The Acolytes had a tag title match on Raw but it got ruined by them getting into a brawl with Kane-Pac, who were doing commentary. Eventually, the heels ganged up on the faces and left them laying, leading to this match.
– For some reason, Taker sits at the commentary booth to do guest commentary instead of wrestling in the match. Apparently, he’s trying to teach Show a lesson in tough love by making him defend the tag titles by himself. Kane, Big Show, and Farooq brawl to start off the match. Ref isn’t even trying to get anybody out of the ring so I guess all three men are legal. Kane sends Farooq to the outside before hitting a DDT on Show that causes Bradshaw to come in and break up the subsequent pin attempt. Again, it’s like night and day watching Kane move around in 1999 and comparing it to him dicking around with the Authority in 2014.
– Pac runs into the ring and lays out Bradshaw with a Spin Kick causing Farooq to get back in the ring and help his partner. Everybody brawls in the ring as Taker pretty much says that Show is an idiot and that he has a plan for the tag titles that he will reveal to Show when he’s ready. Show gets sent to the outside, forcing Taker to give him a brief pep talk telling him to act like a killer. After Taker slaps Show in the face, the angry giant goes back into the ring to wreck shop. He tries to Powerbomb X-Pac but is forced to go down to his knees as both Acolytes chop him down to size by targeting his legs. Pac, still in position for the Powerbomb, is frantically trying to escape Show’s clutches but ends up eating a vicious Big Boot from Bradshaw. Never seen that spot before, I’ll give them that much.
– The Acolytes start double-teaming Show but the giant takes down both men with a Double Clothesline. Show signals for a Chokeslam but here comes The Big Red Machine with “The Kane Clothesline!” The crowd is on their feet as Kane plants both Acolytes with consecutive Chokeslams. He tries to pin Farooq but Show is right there to break up the pin.
– Show and Kane trade punches for a bit before Pac tags himself in and together, the babyfaces start laying into Show. The Acolytes, who had rolled to the outside, drag Kane out of the ring and start beating on him as Show and Pac mix it up in the ring. Pac actually helps his big homie by doing a Dropkick through the ropes to Bradshaw but he pays for it as Show immediately plants him with a Chokeslam for the win.
– Fun match. It was short, of course, but I enjoyed it while it lasted. There really wasn’t a dull moment in the match.
Lawler can’t believe it!
– Steph finally arrives at the building as Test asks her if she has an answer to his marriage proposal. She says “yep”…before walking off without actually telling Test what her answer is. Bitches man. Also, young Steph is just adorable.
– “Folks, if I didn’t know any better, I would say that we were gonna get Stephanie’s answer right here tonight on Smackdown!”- JR. Wow, it’s almost as if this whole show was scripted and totally not real, JR. Hmmm…
– The Big Bossman comes out to the ring with his trusty nightstick in hand. He demands that Al Snow comes out from the back and the madman quickly obliges. Snow asks Bossman where Pepper is but Bossman tells him that the puppy is safe…for now. Bossman is willing to make a deal with Snow. If he gets another shot at the Hardcore title, he’ll return Pepper to Snow. The former CO says that if Snow doesn’t give him another title shot, he’s gonna take Pepper to a cold dark place and show her “hard times.” Well, that sounded a lot more disturbing than he probably meant it to be. Snow agrees and the title match is next!
Match #3
Hardcore Championship
Hardcore match
The Big Bossman (w/ Pepper) vs. Al Snow ©
– True to his word, Bossman brings Pepper to the ring. LMAO, he put a muzzle on her. He hands the dog to The King for safe-keeping. Thank god it’s not a kitty or I could make some heinous jokes
– Pepper pisses all over the announce table as the match starts. Snow rocks his opponent with punches to start out the bout before heading to the outside to check on Pepper. Bossman cuts him off at the pass though and takes control of the match.
– Plunder gets involved as Bossman tries to hit the champ with a ladder. Snow deflects the shot, however, and soon smashes a cookie sheet over the Bossman’s head. For no good reason, Snow balances the ladder on the ropes before heading to the top rope. No idea what Snow was even attempting but it don’t matter as Bossman knocks him off to the floor.
– Bossman politely holds the ladder so Snow can do a spot where he sends it back into the former CO’s face. It looked like dookie. Snow considers going for the pin but instead tries to check on Pepper again. Snow’s got 99 problems and a bitch is one as Bossman whacks a distracted Snow with his nightstick. That’s enough to give Bossman the win as he pins Snow on the outside. New champion!
– This match was some bullshit. It went like two minutes and the finish makes no kind of sense. So, Snow can survive having a bottle broken of over his head and going through tables but one light nightstick shot to the back and he’s out like a light? Ridiculous.
– Because he’s a meanie, Bossman goes back on his word and takes Pepper along with the Hardcore title as heads to the back. Well, Snow is a goddamn idiot. What exactly did he expect the freaking Big Bossman to do? Suddenly become honorable? Even Sting thinks this guy makes babyfaces look too gullible
– Backstage, X-Pac is seemingly getting ready to leave the building, angrily telling Kane that he’s tired of being the weak link. Kane actually calls him “SEAN!” It’s a shoot, brother. It also cracks me up that Kane basically did this exact same angle 14 years later with Daniel Bryan.
– After Jericho is shown backstage walking to the ring for his upcoming match with Road Dogg, we go back to ringside where Snow has come to and realizes that Pepper is gone again. He sprints to the back in an attempt to get Pepper back from Bossman. At this point, the show would go to commercial but thank god for the WWE Network.
– In their respective locker rooms, HHH and Rock are shown getting ready for the main event. Somewhere else in the arena, Snow is searching for Pepper. Sadly, Bossman has already left the building. LMAO, we go from one dog to another as Road Dogg’s match is next.
Match #4
Road Dogg vs. “Y2J” Chris Jericho
– In addition to these two having a confrontation at Summerslam, Jericho also sneak-attacked RD on Raw with help from Howard Finkle.
– It’s the debut episode of Smackdown so you know that D-O-Double G has got to cut a “Rah-Rah” promo. “In Cell Block D-O-Double G, I couldn’t trade your ass for a pack of cigarettes!”- Road Dogg. Comparing your opponent to a prison bitch. Nice to see that we are keeping this show classy.
– Jericho’s hair is amazing. Didn’t he recently admit that it was a wig? That makes me sad.
– After the bell rings, Dogg tells Jericho to suck it before they lock up and go through a sequence which Dogg gets the better of. Jericho quickly turns the tide by tossing RD into the ring steps.
– Y2J goes for a move off the top rope but gets crotched by Dogg. I’m sure Jericho was planning on going balls deep on the WWF but I don’t think he meant like this. A Superplex sends Jericho off his precarious position as he goes scrambling to his corner man Howard Finkle for so much needed hydration. In the biggest bitch move I’ve seen in a while, Finkle tosses the liquid into Road Dogg’s eyes, blinding him and leaving him easy pickings for Jericho. No idea why that wasn’t a DQ but ok. I’m used to it by now. Still annoys me though, not gonna lie.
– Jericho hits the “Welcome to Chicago, Motherfucker” backbreaker that CM Punk used to do. Holy shit, Jericho really did do everything first.
– For some odd reason, Jericho brings a table into the ring. The ref is right there but doesn’t even try to stop Jericho as he sets it up. Jericho tries to suplex Dogg through the table but RD fights it and manages to counter the move into a DDT. I guess the ref is cool with a freaking table being set up during the middle of a match as he just lets it stay up as Dogg hits his signature punch combo on Y2J. Dogg gets his shit in for a bit before Jericho hits him with a Powerbomb. Instead of letting it go, he keeps Dogg hooked for another one, Brock Lesnar-style, and puts him through the table with a Powerbomb! Instant DQ victory for Road Dogg.
Poor Road Dogg thought that Jericho was just trying to give him an angry BJ.
– There’s a LOT of stupid stuff to complain about here. But, I will say this. If they were gonna do a DQ finish, at least Jericho wasted no time in going through with his dastardly plan instead of wrestling a 15+ minute match before doing it. Yes, I’m looking at you, Seth Rollins. Brah, Kane was right there. Why wouldn’t you put Ambrose through the cinderblocks right away? That was dumb. Here, it actually makes sense.
– Unfortunately for the leader of the Dogg Pound, Jericho isn’t done with him as he locks in the Liontamer. After refs pull Jericho off RD, the dastardly heel actually blows a kiss to the camera and goes “<3 my haters” as the show goes to commercial. That was more an angle than an actual match but I was fine with it.
– After commercials, we get a recap of the angle that just happened. Backstage, Jericho starts riding Howard Finke’s nuts and convinces him that he should be doing the ring announcing instead of Tony Chimel. He calls Finkle “a warrior.”
– Back in the ring, THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR’S MUSIC STARTS PLAYING! It is actually impossible to listen to that music and not get hyped up a little bit. I have a feeling that I know what’s about to happen and I’m not disappointed as Howard Finkle comes waddling down the ramp. He does all of of Warrior’s mannerisms before transforming into 2008-era Chris Jericho by telling Chimel that he is the best in the world at what he does! Finkle shoves Tony down and tries to do the announcing for the next match but Chimel shows that he has a pair as he tackles Howard and begins choking him. FINKLE, YOU TOO CLOSE, MAN. Jericho just goes “lol” as he watches on a monitor in a back.
“Damn it, Howie…”
– Like a great babyface should, Chimel clears the ring and kicks Howard out as the crowd pops for him. Chimel ain’t no killa but don’t push him. Announcing is like the sweetest joy next to getting pussy.
– Having seen enough, Jericho comes out and scolds Howard for getting his ass beat just like a parent getting mad at their kid in kindergarten for losing a fight on the playground. Ken Shamrock’s music hits as the former UFC champion comes out. Presumably, he’s here not just for the next match but to salute Chimel as a sign of respect from one goon to another.
– Kenny and Jericho bump shoulders as they walk past each other on the ramp. At first, Shamrock blows it off and tries to focus on his match but Jericho orders Finkle to tell Shamrock to never touch Y2J again. Of course, “The World’s Gooniest Man” ain’t down with that and teases breaking the Fink’s hand before Jericho saves his protege by hitting Ken in the back with a chair. LOL, Jericho spits on Ken before rightfully running for his life with Finkle before Shamrock can get up. Jericho is outstanding as a cowardly, chicken-shit heel.
– A furious Shamrock totally forgets that he has a match next as he runs after Jericho and Fink. Wait, it’s all good as my new boo Young Stephanie McMahon comes out. She asks for “Andrew” (Test) to come out. God, I love pro-wrestling. This crazy ho couldn’t just tell Test in private whether or not she wants to get married. She HAD to do it on camera. She really is a McMahon.
– After getting in the ring, Test gets down on one knee and asks for Steph’s hand in marriage. Of course, she accepts! Unfortunately, the good times don’t last long as the Mean Street Posse hit the ring and beat down Andrew. Shane stops Steph from interfering as The Posse work over Test but here comes Mankind to make the save! He clears the ring with chair shots to the Posse. Mankind grabs a mic and says that his match with Shane is gonna happen right now since they are both already out there. Shane looks scurred and hesitates in getting in the ring so Mankind makes a deal with him. If Shane gets in the ring, Foley will let him have one free shot with the chair. Just realized, Shane’s shirt says “It’s not just a sock…MR. SUCKO!”
Match #5
Shane McMahon vs. Mankind
– Shane takes full advantage of the free chair shot as he lays out Foley with a shot to the back. lolnope, Foley no-sells it and starts beating on Shane. The Posse’s dead bodies are still in the ring, BTW.
– Shane tries to go into the crowd but Mankind is hot on his trail, suplexing him on the protective mats. Foley starts beatin on The Boy Wonder in the ring but The Posse has got their homie’s back, pulling Foley to the outside so they can mug him. The numbers advantage is evened up by a recovered Test and the Stooges who send the Posse packing. Even Steph gets her some.
– Meanwhile, in the ring, after a few seconds of dicking around, Mankind hits a Double Arm DDT on Shane. Time for Mr. Socko! Foley slaps on the Mandible Claw but before Shane can pass out, Chyna hops onto the apron to distract the ref. Behind Earl Hebner’s back, HHH nails Mankind with a chair allowing Shane to cover him for the win. Well, that was kinda lame. There wasn’t anything wrong with it but that all felt pointless in the end.
– Jericho and Fink are getting ready to speed away from the arena in a cheap ass rental car. Awesome, He’s the “savior of the WWF” but he drives a Taurus. Before Fink can get in the car, Jericho is like “deuces” and leaves him behind. Shamrock is about to murk the old man but shows mercy after he craps his pants in fear. After that? COMMERCIALS. Dead serious.
– We get a sit down interview between Michael “Black As” Cole and an injured Stone Cold. Austin has his knee all taped up due to the vicious assault by HHH at the end of Summerslam. Austin says that he was already hurt going into Summerslam and that HHH’s attack only made it worse, putting him on the shelf for “a little bit.” Austin says that when he makes a full recovery, he will stomp a mudhole in HHH’s ass and take back the WWF Championship. Good stuff here.
Match #6
Evening Gown Match
Ivory (<3 <3 <3) vs. Tori
– This match is a result of Ivory trying take Tori’s top off after their match at Summerslam. Tori isn’t even wearing an evening gown, she’s wearing a dress shirt with no pants. Well, that makes no sense. Wouldn’t you want to wear something that’s a little harder to tear off than a shirt in a match like this? Nice shot of her ass though, can’t lie.
– Within seconds, Tori is all over Ivory like white on rice and comes close to ripping off her gown. When that fails, she starts punching her in the corner before the Women’s champ rakes her eyes. Ivory tries to yank off Tori’s shirt but the blonde manages to tackle Ivory to the ground. Where is Joey Styles when you need him!? Slowly but surely, the gown slides off Ivory’s body and this one is already over!
– As every teenager in the 90’s thanks the Based God (or whatever the 90’s equivalent to Based God was), Tori continues her assault on Ivory. Luna comes down to pull Tori off the champ, who desperately tries to cover herself. No joke on nothing, Ivory can’t even get out of the ring before the camera goes TO THE BACK~! where HHH and Chyna are backstage with Lilian Garcia. Another production cut that would be right at home on an episode of Impact. I don’t know if it’s just the Network version or if the original broadcast was this poorly edited.
Also, this happened at some point during the night. Credit to Injustice45 on the FAN Forums for being kind enough to let me use this gif.
– HHH cuts a promo talking about how he’s that damn good and how he’s the best and how HBK don’t matter and blah blah blah. Man, transcribing heel world champ HHH promos is boring.
– Snow is still searching for Pepper. Again, I feel hungry. What is going on?
– In the parking lot, Michael Cole, Earl Hebner, and some other brown-noser congratulate Test and Shane on their engagement. I actually meant to put Steph there but I think it’s significantly funnier if I leave it like that.
Match #7
WWF Championship
Special Ref: HBK
The Rock vs. HHH (w/Chyna)(c)
– MAH TIME. MAH TIME. MAH TIMEEEEEEEE.
– Just realized HHH is wearing chain-mail similar to Scott Steiner over his shoulders.
– HHH and Rock jaw-jack for a bit before they start swinging. Rock gets the better of it and forces HHH into the corner before going for the Rock Bottom. HHH gets out of it and goes for the Pedigree but Rocky Back Body Drops his way out of it.
– Behind HBK’s back, Chyna gets in a cheap-shot on Rock. It’s a 99’ WWF Championship match so, of course, they brawl up the ramp and fight near the set. God, I’m so tired of this spot. HHH takes a suplex on the stage as HBK checks to see if his former friend has lost his smile yet.
– WE KEEP BRAWLIN’ BRAWLIN’ BRAWLIN’ BRAWLIN’.
– They make their way back to ringside as Rock gets sent into the steps. After some more give and take brawling, The Great One is beating on HHH near the announce table before Chyna low-blows him! HBK, realizing that HHH would love to get DQ’ed here and retain his title, doesn’t call for the bell and opts to just send Chyna to the back. HHH disputes the decision briefly before heading back to the ring where Rock hits him with a DDT. The challenger gets a visual pin on HHH but HBK is still dealing with Chyna and can’t make the pin! It actually made sense too as HBK saw the pin on the titantron and immediately went, “oh shit” before running back to try and make the count.
– Shane McMahon runs out and the “Asshole!” chants quickly fill the Kemper Arena. HHH gets the heat on Rock with slow, methodical offense. I’ve really liked HHH’s ring work this year BTW. In the midst of getting his ass whooped, Rock manages to neck HHH on the ropes and tries to cover him but Shane is distracting the ref.
– After Rock hits a Swinging Neckbreaker, Shane hops on the apron but Rock hits him with a freaking awesome punch. Seriously, watch this show just so you can see this punch. Everything about it was just perfect. Shane’s selling cracked me up. Feeding off the crowd’s energy, Rock hits the Rock Bottom on HHH! Rock could potentially have the win here but nah, to hell with that. Rocky wants to flex for the gram and hit the People’s Elbow.
– Rock takes off his elbow pad and throws it in the crowd. He does a funky arm jive. He shoots off one set of ropes. He shoots off the other set and WHUT DA HALE, SHAWN JUST SUPERKICKED ROCK!!!!! SHAWN MICHAELS, YOU SONUVABITCH!!!!!
– Rock is on dream street as he staggers back to his feet right into a Pedigree. HHH has retained the title thanks to HBK. DX is reunited!
– HBK literally puts the belt on HHH as Chyna and Shane come back out. The show ends with the evil heels celebrating their victory over the Rock’s defeated body. Boo these men. And Eighth Wonder of the World.
– So, that was the first Smackdown. Not an amazing show or anything but I had fun watching it which is all I really ask for at the end of the day. It’s worth checking out if you’ve never seen it before or hell, just want to see it again and relive the past.
NOTE: As will be the case with all special episodes, I will not rank the matches on this show. I personally think it’s really unfair to compare TV matches on a 2 hour show to PPV matches on a 3 hour show for a variety of reasons.
– Oh and one last thing. Let’s play that “pretend this is all real” game again. If Rock had not demanded he got a title shot tonight, the main event of this show would have been Ivory vs. Tori in an Evening Gown match that ended in a minute. Yeah.