On this week’s Direct to DVD Dissection, or DTDD to all the cool kids, it’s Dracula, as you’ve never seen him before! Well, okay, you’ve probably seen him like this before, but it’s got Jon Voight in a fake nose, breasts, and a big man with an axe. Gotta count for something.
Now where was that chain whip?
The Story
In his search for the Lightbringer, Dracula crosses paths with a beautiful and remarkable crusader named Alina who bears a remarkable resemblance to his murdered bride. One look at her and Dracula is immediately smitten. Could Alina be the reincarnation of his long-dead love? Dracula has Alina kidnapped and brought to his castle where the beast must now try to win his Beauty’s heart. But time is running out for Dracula to convince Alina of her true feelings. Her companions – the renowned vampire hunter Van Helsing, the handsome love-struck thief Lucien, her feisty younger sister Esme, and Andros, a vampire slayer from the frozen north – are determined to rescue Alina and kill Dracula in the process.
The Cast
Luke Roberts as Dracula, a seemingly immortal and unholy warrior who turns to the dark side, according to legend. Tales of midi-chlorians and lightsaber use are still unknown.
Jon Voight as Van Helsing. A legendary vampire hunter, who seeks to go after Dracula, because you can’t be Van Helsing and not go after Dracula.
Kelly Wenham as Alina. Along with her sister, seek to free the people from the tyranny of Dracula’s rule, until she gets in good with Drac. In which case, screw all them, she got hers!
Ben Robson as Lucien. A thief who fancies himself a smuggling master and witty rogue, but comes off, in the worlds of the English, as a git.
The Dissection
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MICHAEL COELLO’S JOURNAL (Kept in Shorthand.)
Dracula himself (Roberts), on a throne, as people are want to do.
May 26th, Tampa – Left to head to the local drugstore in down around 9:30 in the morning. I feared the store would have not yet recovered the inventory of cold drinks from the night before. But, yeah, they did. On the way to buy a few of the cold concoctions, the eyes I was born with happened upon the glow of a DVD rental machine, a Box of Red as it were. Perusing the latest released, these tired eyes gazed upon the sight of various disc covered, one springing to attention.
DRACULA: THE DARK PRINCE.
Making my purchase, it was decided that this feature film could make a room for the night in my DVD player.
May 27th – A night of visions, nearing 100 total minutes from the time of man, gone with the knowledge of the events of the film from the night before still rolling around in my head. “What did I witness?” I thought out loud to no one. it took a little while to collect my thoughts, using the time to reflect to return the invited disc from where it belonged. Whether it will be able to make a new home has yet to be seen.
After some meditation, a thought that kept it’s stranglehold on my mind was the idea of gaming. The tale of action and horror told to me just a few short hours ago seemed reminiscent of other tales such as the recent fables from CASTLEVANIA: LORDS OF SHADOW, and the set up with the 4 heroes setting off to do battle with a horrific foe brought to mind feats from HUNTER: THE RECKONING or even LEFT 4 DEAD. Verily, those modes of entertainment carry not the idea of quality in the spectrum of story, and one cannot help but feel a sense of familiarity, and that a tale as that is simple enough to get into and be able to bring merriment in some form. And yet, the rhythm that build up drop by the end, with the film promising this was not over. Not so. It is only the beginning! At least, this film hopes it is.
Van Helsing (Voight), working on the Lemmy stache.
May 28th – After another night, and more moments with which to draw upon the events, it brought up issues of performances. The first to come to mind is the old soul, this Mr Voight, who makes his presence known with his name on the facade of this film, as well as interesting facial features. Mein Gott! Mein Gott! The nose! The mustache! To move on from such talk, the rest of the crew that made my acquaintance were of varying levels of experience and enjoyment. The standout lied with the traveling warrior of Andros, who made himself known under the name Richard Ashton. It at least settled the annoyance I felt while listening to a fellow by the name of Lucien, sold to me as a roguish hero, yet the idea of him being no more than a fool never left my consciousness. As for the villain, and what story would there possibly be without the source of conflict, there arose a sense of enjoyment, after a few tumbles in the beginning. A look at him play-fighting with him men stood out to me as most peculiar.
May 29th – The film came into my mind again, relying on the various bits not left out of analysis. The effects have a certainly duplicity to them, as blood and viscera remained solely in drawn storyboards, reminiscent of my dealings with PRIEST. Yet, in living action, the battles were merely child’s play, with minimal bloodshed and only streams of blood making up the violence in this production. And yet, there exists several moments of nudity,on display. Not finely told, to be sure, in view of the recycling of parts in several areas of this tale. ‘Tis a very strange case indeed…..wait wrong book
As I take in my last thoughts on the matter, it brings to mind other additional bits of fables told to me, one from the performers to tell me of their experiences, another who described the world that this story called home, I even had a good discussion with the man who directed this performance, on the secrets of the place, to know what it means to dare much for the sake of this.
“GET ON WITH IT!!!”
The Verdict
A bit of a mish mash of stories, with a lot having been told before, and yet with some good moments here and there and an interesting build, yet disappointing payoff in the last act, it does seem worth a look.