I am not shy about stating that I was a Nickelodeon kid (because that’s a high stakes comment right?). Cartoon Network’s offerings sometimes would catch my eye, but normally I wasn’t into it. “Johnny Bravo” was always too dumb for me and “Dexter’s Lab” may have been too smart. I would like to think the one Cartoon Network that was appointment viewing for me was right in the middle. “Ed, Edd n Eddy” had a nice mix of idiotic and smart content to keep my discerning 9 year old mind entertained. It had a much longer shelf life than most cartoons too. It only had six seasons, but they really stretched those bad boys out for 10 years.
Why the hell not?
Our three similarly named protagonists contrast pretty much like the shows I just talked about. Ed is an idiot, Edd is super smart, and Eddy is right in the middle. Don’t get me wrong, Eddy is really dumb too, but Ed sets the bar down really far. He makes up for it by being selfless and amazing to everyone though. I don’t think it’s a stretch to make a legitimate claim that he’s mentally disabled. Eddy is smart enough to be sneaky and scam people, but normally only for 15 minutes at a time. If he tries too much longer they normally wise up and steal his jawbreakers. The Ed’s need jawbreakers. Look what happens when they don’t get them…
This show generated a bunch of rumors on the old internet. I remember reading way back in the early days of AOL chatrooms the rumor being tossed about was that Edd (Double D) is a girl. His nickname and actions did a lot to suggest that. He also never took off his hat. But the fact I keep calling him…him shows you exactly how that turned out. Also that means the one Kankor sister would be a lesbian. Not saying it’s out of the realm of possibility, it just seems unlikely. Edd’s double d’s are only reference to his name people!
Or was it?
The other big time rumor even made it to the virtual pages of Cracked.com (as did our own Robert Rosati, way to go Bob). The rumor is that our kids in the cul-de-sac are actually poor little children in hell. The reasons given for evidence are the lack of parents, their lack of leaving their little area, and the attributes applied to each child seem to be different eras. I’m not diving into it, because it’s easy to find, I’m just going to say I don’t buy it. Their parents are mentioned, they do leave the block and the only one who seems out of place is the immigrant kid, and that is explained by him being from a foreign country. I’m more likely to believe the SponegBob/ atomic bomb one more.
There are a ton of character in this show. The little children are minaly a bunch of wack jobs that are not supervised. I imagine that it’s how the “Rugrats” grew up. We can also think of it as a new age “Peanuts”. Everyone’s always picking on the weird kid with very little hair. Here are some snapshots on our other players:
Johnny is my favorite kid in the neighborhood. I think I understand him most because he’s a loner and gets made fun of for having a giant head. He seems to be a bother to every other kid. They only like him it seems because he’s not actively annoying like the Ed’s. He walks around with his buddy Plank and jabbers on. Plank is a piece of 2×4 with a face drawn on. It apparently also talks.
Sarah is Ed’s little sister. She is strong and angry, often times taking her frustrations out on her loving brother. She also controls the emotions of the weakest kid in the area, Jimmy. Her anger knows no bounds as she even tends to push around the kids that should be above her on the social hierarchy. She’s more proof that Edd is a boy because she at times seem to be infatuated with him. That doesn’t save him from her wrath though.
The aforementioned Jimmy is a sight for sore eyes. This kid is weak, very effeminate, and has head gear that looks like it’s from the 1970s. That’s about the only real proof anyone could have to the hell theory. He is very dedicated to Sarah because she is basically his protector. She wears the pants if you will. I just hope he makes it to adult hood without shattering his spine.
Kevin is the local cool jock. He tends to hate Eddy, as most people do, and that falls down to Edd and Eddy. He calls them hundreds of variations of the word dork and taunts them for their love of jawbreakers. His dad works for the company and Kevin has a garage full. What a prick. Kevin and Ed’s problems stem from their affection for our next character…
Nazz is the neighborhood cool chick. She seems a bit thick headed to me, but who am I too judge. She’s the queen bee of the cul-de-sac though and treats all of the other kids well. She has been known to take her frustration out on people physically, but that’s all women am I right? All the boys seem to be in love with her, and she rightfully ignores their attempts.
Rolf is the foreign kid I mentioned before. He’s a weird mix of Amish and Eastern European. He’s very strong and seems to run his own farm. I hope the parents here exist because this kid would be beat to death running it alone. His customs freak the other children out and his thick accent doesn’t help them get it. He also tends to be like Dwayne Johnson with all the third person references.
This isn't related. I just wanted to put it here.
The only other characters are the Kanker sisters and they annoy me. I don’t want to devote time to it. They like the three protagonists and are loud. Woo. There is also Eddy’s brother who he claims is his teacher. Turns out in the movie finale he’s just a jerk. Dang right?
All of these parts make a mighty whole. A cartoon that lasts for a decade, gets a movie and makes commercials with the NBA’s Steve Francis is worth writing about. It’s a lot of scheming, tricks and “stooge-like” antics. Like most Cartoon Network shows it doesn’t really follow a huge plot or mean much, but it’s a kid’s show so it shouldn’t be expected. All I know for sure is that when I go to King’s Island and see giant jawbreakers in the candy store, I wish every time they had one big enough to make my face drag on the ground. One day…One day
But more than likely I’ll get no jawbreakers or love:
