Piranha 3DD
Plot: The deadly spawn of piranhas from the first film are back! This time, they infiltrate a waterpark run by Chet (David Koechner) and his stepdaughter, Maddy (Danielle Panabaker). Along with the local cop, Kyle (Chris Zylka) and her friend, Barry (Matt Bush), she combats the ferocious fish and attempts to save the day.
Review: If Alexandre Aja’s “Piranha” was too campy for your tastes, you’d be best to avoid this sequel. John Gulager sits in for Aja, but doesn’t take away the cheesy tone of the first film. If anything, he cranks it up a few notches. There’s more humor, nudity and gore sprinkled throughout to satisfy all consumers. Even the title is a joke (the double D’s referring to a breast size).
Suspension of disbelief is also raised higher in this film. The piranhas that terrorized Lake Victoria (which we briefly get to see again in the beginning thanks to a newsreel) are now residing in a lake next to a newly opened waterpark. They infiltrate Chet and Maddy’s empire after Chet attaches pipes to the lake to siphon water and they swim through. They also develop an extra power, so to speak, near the end that is a sardonic wink to the audience.
The film as a whole is dripped in sardonic humor. David Hasselhoff appears as himself, poking fun at his image and age, as well as the victims (“Why don’t they just get out of the water? It’s not as if the fish will follow them home.”). Both Christopher Lloyd and Ving Rhames reprise their roles from the first film. Lloyd is obsessed with his Youtube video, gleefully belting that he has more hits than a laughing baby. Rhames is stuck in a wheelchair and arrives at the waterpark with his helper, Andrew (Paul Scheer of the “How Did This Get Made?” podcast), to overcome his newfound fear of water. Gary Busey pops up in a cameo as a hillbilly farmer hand fishing for piranhas. Then there’s David Koechner having a blast hamming it up as the greedy and perverted Chet.
The main cast of good-looking twenty-plus year olds are serviceable (though I feel Katrina Bowden, who plays Shelby, should have been cast as Maddy; she was wonderful as the damsel in distress in “Tucker & Dale Vs. Evil”). They’re tasked with playing more straightforward roles, though they get to chew up scenery every once in awhile. It should be stated I got a laugh out of Maddy conveniently studying marine biology.
Though this film is a slight step down from the first (the piranhas are clearly CGI at times and it’s a bit too short, only clocking in at seventy minutes sans the credit and blooper reel), Gulager and the slew of screenwriters (a whopping five, believe it or not) do their best to one-up Aja. There’s a sex scene where a piranha comes into play that had me howling! Rhames has a twist for the big finale that harkens back to old grindhouse features (or Robert Rodriguez’s “Planet Terror”, for those only knowing of the “Grindhouse” collaboration between him and Quentin Tarantino). One thing’s for certain. If you loved the first film, you’ll love this one!
Final Rating: B
El Gringo
Plot: With a satchel full of two million dollars in hand, The Man (Scott Adkins) heads into Mexico on his way to Acapulco. Leaving a bloody trail behind, he’s tracked by Lieutenant West (Christian Slater). In town, he causes trouble with Culebra (Israel Islas), the leader of a gang, and develops a love interest with Anna (Yvette Yates).
Review: As a vehicle for Scott Adkins, “El Gringo” works. He gets to flaunt his physique and act tough. He’s handed an arsenal of guns and knives and goes to town on a bunch of baddies. He’s treated as an unstoppable force, ala the heroes from eighties action films. He’s also a smooth character who can woo any woman he wants. He’s the total package!
As a film, “El Gringo” misfires. Eduardo Rodriquez tries so hard to capture both the feeling of a grindhouse and mexploitation film that he forgets to tell an interesting story. The character exposition is there (complete with name cards), but nobody is developed. They all feel like stock characters reading off of cue cards (though partial blame could be put upon screenwriter Jonathan W. Stokes for that). The only exposition the villain, Culebra, has is that he wears face paint.
Rodriguez’s choice to edit the film in a kinetic style (along with Don Adams and Harold Parker) is questionable. The film feels like it’s skipping half of the time. This may be to represent the short temper of The Man and the shaky situation he’s in, but it becomes more of a needless distraction. It also doesn’t gel well with the flashbacks or the action sequences.
While most modern action films falter due to a shaky cam during the action scenes, this one’s downfall is the editing. The majority of the scenes are unwatchable due to this haywire technique. It’s a blessing that the occasional one slips through unscathed. There’s a prolonged foot chase between The Man and one of Culebra’s henchmen (henchwoman, to be precise) that’s completely visible and entertaining. It’s a tremendous scene that highlights Adkins’ star power (which is still minimal) and has him blasting away at numerous bad guys that pop onto the screen.
The occasional scene such as this can only do so much to liven the film. “El Gringo” simply runs through the motions and does nothing captivating with it’s cast or situation. The film is telegraphed and the twist near the end is ludicrous. Christian Slater seems to be picking up a paycheck and his character feels tacked on (which is dismal considering he plays a pivotal role). Rodriguez may have succeeded in giving Scott Adkins a vehicle, but he forgot to make it interesting.
Final Rating: C
Take This Waltz
Plot: Margot (Michelle Williams) is happily married to Lou Rubin (Seth Rogen), a chicken cook book writer. When Daniel (Luke Kirby), a freelance artist who earns money as a rickshaw driver, moves in across the street, she begins falling for him. She struggles with the thought of abandoning her husband or ignoring her desires for Daniel.
Review: It surprises me that Sarah Polley is in the director’s chair (as well as writing the screenplay). I’d expect the follies that scourge “Take This Waltz” to be that of an amateur filmmaker. Someone who grew up loving both romance films and quirky independent features and tried to combine the two. The amalgamation can work, but it doesn’t here. The quirkiness downplays the serious drama and the melodramatics tarnish the tone. If anything, the quirkiness is what keeps this film from being generic.
That’s not a compliment, however. Polley, who has found success behind the director’s chair with “Away From Her”, seems to mistake eccentricity as a rare trait. On the contrary. You can go to any film festival and find a dozen films like “Take This Waltz”. They may not have a strong cast and crew behind them, but they exist. Some of those films may even use the trait to it’s advantage.
The reason the quirky tone fails here is that it doesn’t belong most of the time. The only time I felt comfortable with it was when it highlighted Margot and Lou’s relationship. It worked splendidly in detailing their cute relationship and why they belong together. They share the same qualities that drew them together in the first place.
Daniel is supposed to represent the total opposite. He plays the charming, kind hunk that woos Margot, yet is respectful enough to keep his feelings at bay. Kirby’s performance is dry, but I felt that suited the character. Margot is going through a crisis of sorts when she discusses the monotony of marriage after a certain time with Lou’s sister, Geraldine (Sarah Silverman, who is underutilized). That’s the driving point of why she’s feeling flirtatious with Daniel.
This would work if Polley kept Daniel as a dry hunk. Instead, she bogs him down with peculiarity. It’s not as upfront as it is with the other characters, but it still exists. His occupation as a rickshaw driver is evident of that. And did he have to be a freelance artist? It almost feels like a mockery of independent romance films at this point. It doesn’t help that no risks are taking with the character. It’s clear we’re meant to root for Lou, but Daniel himself is easy to get behind. He has feelings for Margot, but tries his best to step back due to her marriage. She’s the one that instigates and then blames him, which neuters not only her character, but Williams’ lovely performance.
In about five years time, only two things will be remembered of “Take This Waltz”. The full frontal nudity (which is handled earnestly and respectfully) and Seth Rogen’s perfomance. That’s not to say he’s the only good one (the cast is uniformly fine). This is his first time playing the straight dramatic role (the closest he came was in “50/50”) and he does a swell job. It’s very easy to get behind his character and sympathize with his situation. It’s to this film’s benefit that his breakthrough performance exists here. If not, I highly doubt this would be brought up in future conversations.
Final Rating: C
Freak Dance
Plot: Rich girl Cocolonia (Megan Heyn) desperately wants to be a dancer, but her mother (Amy Poehler) forbids her from doing so. She runs away from home and joins a poor dancing group named Fantasies, led by Funky Bunch (Michael Daniel Cassady). The dancing group must win an underground dancing contest to save their studio.
Review: As a satire of dancing films such as “Footloose” and “Step Up”, “Freak Dance” is a success! Matt Besser’s screenplay perfectly lampoons the one dimensional and soapy storylines associated with the subgenre. The film is filled with stock characters, including the innocent rich girl, the hunk with a heart of gold, the dumb bimbo, the nerd and the reformed drug addict. The rival gang(s) are over the top and the dance maneuvers highly extravagant.
As a comedy, “Freak Dance” is hit and miss. Matt Besser and co-director Neil Mahoney revel in the crude and outlandish. This works sometimes, such as the dancer’s bulge (featured abrasively on the poster) and the sexual dance maneuvers during the final dance showdown. Other times they miss the mark, such as Asteroid’s (Hal Rudnick) head injury (to put it lightly) and Sassy (Angela Trimbur) being illiterate and constantly dropping the “F” bomb.
What stunts the comedy from working half of the time is repetition. Besser and Mahoney go to the well one too many times. This causes the film to feel stale by the second half. While the first half of the film had it’s misses, you usually had a hit shortly afterward to counteract. Once the film reaches the halfway mark, the lulls start to sink in. The only running gag that remains funny is Barrio’s (Sam Riegel) disdain for drugs after they took his brother’s life (which he insists he doesn’t want to talk about, but constantly does).
Most of the humor that does work comes in the form of the musical numbers. Seemingly every five to ten minutes we’re with a song and dance number. After awhile, they start to center around mundane tasks, which is a terrific swipe at the genre. There’s bound to be a few that don’t work (such as “Too Dark to Pee”), but the ones that do are hysterical! My personal favorite is “Use Your Butt”, which, as the title suggests, a mockery of the over usage of a female’s ass in dancing.
Most of the performance are one-dimensional and stilted, though I believe that’s a part of the joke. If not, then actors such as Michael Daniel Cassady and Megan Heyn lucked out, as it’s easy to overlook their mediocre performances. The only person to stand out is Drew Droege as Dazzle, the exotic (and erotic) dance rival of the Fantasies. With white, poofy hair, heavy eyeliner and a silver jumpsuit, he commands the screen due to his peculiar attire. Droege goes way over the top in giving him an eccentric personality and it works wonders here. Most of the film’s laughs are derived from him. His dumb sidekicks, however, are excruciating.
I can recommend “Freak Dance” as a spoof of recent dance films (especially over the inferior “Dance Flick”), but am a little hesitant in endorsing it as a comedy. There are some decent laughs, but the film’s humor nearly evaporates near the end (the final showdown reinvigorated the film). The barrage of cameo appearances (ranging from Amy Poehler, Horatio Sanz, Tim Meadows, Matt Walsh and Andrew Daly) will certainly catch your attention, but they too are hit and miss. “Freak Dance” is worth a watch, but one wouldn’t be doing themselves harm by turning it off at the forty-five minute mark.
Final Rating: B-
Dragonslayer
Plot: Tristan Patterson’s documentary follows the life of Josh “Skreech” Sandoval, a skateboarder in Fullerton, California. It shows his observations and struggles with life and parenthood. He constantly fights with staying and raising his child or living the carefree life he always wanted.
Review: “Dragonslayer” reminded me a bit of another documentary, “The Other F Word”. That film dealt with punk rockers facing a new challenge in parenthood. Patterson’s documentary follows a similar path, this time focusing solely on one man. This is an audacious task, one that doesn’t quite pay off. Maybe following in Andrea Blaugrund Nevins’ footsteps and interviewing multiple skaters now turned parents would have been a better option.
I used the term “a bit” as Skreech doesn’t worry too much about his son. That’s not to say he’s a bad father. He obviously cares about him, enough to get a tattoo on his arm representing him. However, his focus (and that of the film’s) is on his escapades than it is on his outlook on life and fatherhood. They’re sprinkled throughout, but never as focused on as much as they should be.
We get various sequences of Skreech skateboarding in abandoned pools (and, on one occasion, in a resident’s pool) and skating competitions. These scenes are easily the best, as they’re the most visually involving. It also showcases Skreech in his natural habitat, allowing him to show his true colors (both mellow and dramatic). These don’t come close to rivaling that of highlights at, say, an “X Games” broadcast. They’re more along the lines of a Youtube clip show.
Patterson’s direction is rather aimless, which perfectly embodies Skreech’s lifestyle. Though this is an honest portrayal of his life, it’s not the most captivating of subject matters. There’s only so much you can take of Skreech driving around the country (mainly on the West Coast, though he drops by Sweden at one point) and getting high with his buddies before you become numb. More focus on his relationship with his child would have been appreciated, but that’s not technically Patterson’s call. It’s all about how Skreech chooses to live his life.
That’s the major downfall of “Dragonslayer”(which, for the record, I’m oblivious to the meaning of the tiel, unless I missed something). As nice and funny a guy Skreech can be, his mellow demeanor doesn’t lend itself to a documentary. Even at a paltry seventy-two minutes, the film feels padded out. Not that it drags, mind you, but it never feels as if his life story (or lack thereof) deserves that running time. I’m not taking anything away from Skreech. He seems like a nice guy and can be entertaining in spots. His life, though, is limited to what can be shown on screen.
Final Rating: C+