Ok. I got some ‘splainin’ to do. Basically, the show was up late, and it’s around Christmas, and I’m hoping to get a couple of articles out this week. I checked out the infamous ROH Final Battle show. You really appreciate simplistic booking after that. You could replace the expression “beating a dead horse” with “beating a wrestler with a chair in the head at ROH”. I guess that one’s a little longer.
Who is that guy who looks like Sheamus in the background?
Anyway, recap of last show, where Maxine told security to make sure Husky Harris did not get into the building. WWE not very good with hiring security. He comes in with a bull rope, sadly there was no cow bell. Hunico is still at the start of the show, they may have to change that soon. All the wrestlers are around the ring here as they introduce Maxine. There’s this guy that looks like Sheamus in the background, it’s gonna bother me. She says that Richie Steamboat and Husky Harris have been suspended for 30 days. She brings up are two title matches tonight. Raquel Diaz vs Aksana for Aksana’s Queen of FCW crown, and Seth Rollins taking on Leo Kruger. Chris Russo says she maybe a diva, but she still can rule with an Iron Fist. A very Russo thing to say. At least they’re not whores and bitches, but still can lead with an Iron Fist. There’s this new nerdy ring announcer as well.
Titus O’Neil, Percy Watson & CJ Parker vs Derrick Bateman, Rick Victor and Corey Graves
I'm still working on my mac screen shot taking. Derrick Bateman stealing Shawn Stasiak's gimmick.
So like, is CJ Parker still teaming with Donny Marlow? I think he’s driving around Hunico on a bike. Rick Victor looks to have generic’d himself. Derrick Bateman has a hat that says “Meat” and Corey Graves slides through without Leah West, who was wish well in her future endeavours recently. Bateman and Parker start off. Bateman goes for a hair mare, but Parker gives one of his own. Big mops on both men. Headbutt gets a quick kick out. Percy tagged in but Bateman gets the advantage and brings him to the heel corner. Tag into Corey Graves. They go for a double clothesline but miss and Percy gets a roll up on Graves. Bateman runs to clothesline Percy, then the camera goes all wacky like it was ROH or something, and somehow Percy gets thrown to the outside. Apparently the rope was pulled down. Saxton says he slipped, he’s a clumsy guy. Graves goes for a pin, but doesn’t get much. Tag to Victor. Percy gets put in the corner and gets pounded on the ground. Graves gets back in and puts boots to abs. That chant doesn’t have the right syllables. Bateman back in with a snap suplex. Tag back into Victor. Man, does he ever look different without facial hair. Chinlock by Victor, Percy gets up, but gets cut down again. Tag to Corey Graves who gets a big belly to belly suplex. Hot tag to Titus O’Neil, and he’s on fire. It’s barking time. Clash of the Titus to Corey Graves. Tag into CJ Parker, and he’s launched by Titus onto Graves. That gets the pin-fall.
Winners: Titus O’Neil, Percy Watson & CJ Parker
Women and moustaches do evil things to people.
Abraham Washington has an on set segment, I guess they don’t want the Abraham Washington Show anymore, it’s just “On-Set Segment”. He talks about hearing that cheaters never win and winners never cheat. But after losing to Leo Kruger, that is a bold-faced lie. He cheated to beat him, and the only belt he has is this $5000 belt around his waist. Armoney, or however it’s spelled, I’m not big on brand names. He says that if this is how this game show is run, then he’s the new Pat Sajack of Florida Championship Wrestling and has a new Vanna White. I don’t get the comparison. He says “If it don’t make dollas, and this chick says, then it don’t make sense”. See the pun there. Facial hair and women really do turn people heel. Richie Steamboat turned because of a chick. Remember that folks. Women and facial hair turn good people bad.
Xavier Woods vs Colin Cassidy
Xavier Woods likes him. You like him. And he's gonna make you, like you!
Xavier Woods is on the mic and announces himself to the ring. He wants to sing a song. Good job and then clap twice he tells the crowd. Like, he also says you won’t get caught in the woods. What is with these awful catchphrases? His opponent is the world’s largest jobber, Colin Cassidy. Let’s put this in perspective. I’m the same height as Xavier Woods. This guy maybe the same height as The Undertaker. Let’s see what happens and how this match progresses. Back and forth here between the two, but Colin stops Woods in his tracks with a big boot. Holy crap, offence on Cassidy’s part. A 2 count as well. Man, this is the most offence I’ve ever seen him get in. Apparently Xavier’s gimmick is he’s an Inspirational Speaker. I didn’t quite get that with the promo. He was also out for 4 months with a knee injury, and while getting that injury, he’s still working on getting his PH.d. Good for him though. Another arm bar on Woods and pushing his face down, maybe working on the neck that’s doing. Jawbreaker by Woods and Cassidy gets in another boot. Whip into the corner by Cassidy and then hits a big sidewalk slam. That gets a two count. Woods hits a jumping kick to the back of Cassidy’s head. He runs into Cassidy and hits this running low flatliner called “Lost in the Woods. This gets him the victory.
Winner: Xavier Woods
They go to Dean Ambrose. Ambrose hasn’t slept in a week. He has eyes in the back of his head and they’re always open. He rode the landscape like a t-rex and will face anyone, anytime. Whether it’s Damien Sandow, Antonio Cesaro, Seth Rollins or WILLIAM REGAL, WHO HASN’T SHOWN UP, WHO WON’T FACE HIM. Regal doesn’t want to jump into that fire. Ambrose is never afraid. He’ll never be afraid of anything. He’s not 6’8”, 300 pounds, but THAT *points to his head* makes him a monster. How the hell are WWE gonna give this guy a catch phrase, like, apparently they copy written this expression, and like, Ambrose is so off the wall with his promos, they kinda just start randomly and end randomly, and I think that’s for the best.
Ambrose walks the dinosaur!
Queen of FCW Crown
Aksana © vs Raquel Diaz.
Raquel comes out first. To….generic music. Like, she’s normal. Damnit WWE, the Ascension was awesome. Like, was Epico such a pillar in that group that when he left, the whole thing fell apart? We don’t have anyone who speaks Spanish anymore, we’re screwed. She says she wants to do this by herself without the Ascension, but I don’t know, she seems out of character. The Ascension should at least be around. Aksana comes out to her Bond music. Two heel divas here. Aksana drives her head into the corner twice. A couple of pin fall attempts by Raquel Diaz. Raquel goes to drive Aksana into the corner herself. An Avalanche-esque splash into the corner and a body slam gets a 1 count. Very short and basic. Aksana pulls the apron over her and regains the advantage. Aksana pulls the rope back into her face, that’s not too fun. Rear chin lock, the crowd is, well, kinda dead. But then again, it’s a heel vs heel match. Raquel gets up, but gets pulled down. More chokes into the corner, nothing fancy. Punches and kicks by Aksana. Odd looking neck breaker, not quite the timing of her Dad. Aksana hits a backslide, man, they are going pretty slow here. What a mess. Raquel goes for the Three Amigos. Nobody can do that move besides Eddie. Everyone who has tried it looks awful, even Chavo Guerrero. Nobody can do it as smoothly. Raquel grabs a Gory Bomb though, shades of her Grandfather, and Raquel picks up the win!
Winner and NEW Queen of FCW, Raquel Diaz
At least she's trying.
After a pretty messy match, Raquel certainly shows she’s trying and doing rather complicated moves, especially the three amigos, which as I said before, no one seems to do it very well after Eddie.
Florida Heavyweight Championship
Leo Kruger © vs Seth Rollins
After being the longest reigning champion this year in FCW, taking on all comers with the FCW 15 Championship, Rollins is now gunning for the Heavyweight Title. The battle of long, black, wet hair. Lock up at the start, both men starting out slow. Kruger tries to hit Rollins after a break, but Rollins blocks and fights back with chops. Whip into both corners, followed by a big back body drop, and that only gets a 1 count. Whip into the ropes, and Kruger holds onto them. A game of cat and mouse now, with Kruger catching Rollins’ foot and tripping him on the apron. Kruger now in control, working on the neck of Rollins. Kruger whips him hard into the buckle, and that gets a one count. Kruger digging his fingers into the eyes, and follows up with a football kick in the gut. Brawl back and forth between the two and Rollins gets in a flying forearm, followed up with an enzugiri. Just a two count with that. Rollins clotheslines Kruger to the outside and he goes for a big dive, but Kruger catches him with a forearm. Back from commercial, and Kruger gets in a modified Mexican surfboard, pulling back on Rollins’ face. Rollins gets out but Kruger goes back on the attack. He starts choking Rollins on the ropes. Kruger seems to be taking his time in this match. Rollins hits a chop, but he is taking more then he’s dishing out. Ref backs him out of the corner. Kruger hits a snap suplex, and gets a 2 count. Kruger keeping the pressure on with the head twist. Rollins reverses a whip and goes back to the chops. Rollins starts hitting some clotheslines and a big body slam. He’s back is hurting him though. Rollins goes for a Stinger Splash, but misses. Kruger goes out to the top rope but Seth catches him. They start brawling with Rollins getting the upper hand. He goes for a superplex, but that’s blocked. Kruger beats Rollins down to the mat. But Rollins comes back and hits a big stiff kick. Rollins stalls before hitting a big top rope superplex, getting a near fall. Kruger goes to the outside and takes a walk! Rollins runs after him and starts fighting him back to the ring. Kruger keeps trying to avoid Rollins. He goes again for a trip, but Rollins jumps to avoid it. Kruger is running away! Rollins has done a lot of long matches, his cardio is pretty good. Rollins goes to whip him into the steps, but Kruger reverses and Rollins nails the steps hard.
The referee is at an 9 count, but Rollins just made it in. Kruger starts hammering away with the mounted punches. Kruger goes to the second rope to hit the 10 punch in the corner. Rollins grabs him though and hits the Buckle Bomb. He’s setting up Avada Kadavra. Antonio Cesaro runs to the ring, but Rollins brings him in himself and starts beating down on him. Kruger goes to grab the belt to nail Seth while the ref’s back is turned. Miss! Roll up by Rollins! But Rollins just gets a two count. He’s pushed off into the ropes, where Cesaro nails him with a big European Uppercut. Kruger locks in the sleeper. Seth goes for the ropes, but Kruger turns his body and his back hits off the ropes. He wraps the legs around the body, and gets the tap out.
Winner and STILL Florida Heavyweight Champion, Leo Kruger
Now that's what I call a interference with a foreign object.
Kruger gets the win with some very European help.