Gilligan and the Skipper had to be the worst crew in history. Maybe that’s why they were in charge of the S.S. Minnow where passengers were allowed to bring all their earthly belongings on a three hour tour. It would be very difficult to watch this show and not wonder why Gilligan wasn’t murdered by the end of each episode. If only they killed the little jerk then we wouldn’t have had three seasons before it was mercifully put down so Gunsmoke could take its spot in the lineup. And no, I won’t be reviewing that western; last week was enough for me.
I may seem a little harsh rallying for the murder of Gilligan, and I don’t exactly hate this show, but it was just too much. Even for little kid me I was taken aback by how ridiculous the whole situation was. They made cars and radios out of coconuts, but they couldn’t make a boat? They were all stranded on this island for how long, and no one but the two old bags drowned the slippery otter? Ginger was prime real estate, and I’m sure Mary Ann would bend over time; or the Skipper’s knee. The worst part of the show was Skipper getting fatter. I don’t care how many fish, coconuts and bugs he can eat, that couldn’t bloat the whale that much. Perhaps the worst offense of all was spawning Gilligan’s Island extreme decades later.
The very start of the show followed the classic Sherwood Schwartz “people are idiots” dichotomy and explained the entire plot in the theme song. It was a very smart move I have to admit. Who can name how many kids the Brady’s had or the names of all the people on this stupid little island because the song taught you all the basic information? Who knows the English alphabet because of the song taught to every person on the continent? Sherwood treated us all like little kids, and it made for memorable programs and characters.
We just touched on the start, so let’s talk about the end. The last episode was just like all the others. It was called “Gilligan the Goddess” and it ended with the poor saps being stuck on the island. Much like the highbrow and high quality writing of the show overall, the final episode saw the white American’s trying to fool a local island chief into thinking Gilligan was his goddess….yet there were two attractive ladies there? Oh well, makes as much sense as everything else.
Oh yes, all the sense in the world.
There are also three movies, and in the first two they were somehow rescued from the island both times, and the third involves the Harlem Globetrotters, so we’ll just ignore those. In all honesty the hotness was gone as the original Ginger wasn’t even in the cast as apparently she’s one to ignore those who brought her to the dance. Awkward sentence aside, I’d figure a mention that they do get rescued two whole times would be reassuring for those who are truely invested.
Now that we know the fate of all these people, can we discuss how insane the amount of stuff on the island was? I’m assuming at least one person said yes, so I’ll go ahead. I mean, I’m sure that was part of the joke; things could be built out of coconuts that were elaborate and complicated. It’s a joke I didn’t think was funny. It’s a paradox, if Gilligan and pals get off the island, the show is over. Understanding that, I guess the viewer never wants them to get off? I guess then the pedal car, the stethoscope, the radio and the hot water pipe are all fun and games.
That’s not the only stuff I’m talking about either. The whole premise is that the people were going to be gone for three hours. Why do the Howell’s have all of their money and a ton of belongings? Why does Ginger have a bunch of fancy dresses and what kind of star actress goes on a weird sea tour by herself? Why is Mary Ann rocking the booty shorts? Were her and the Professor on a date and just never told anyone it wasn’t working out? The old rich couple, the captain and the bumbling moron in red are the only ones that make sense to be on the dinky tour. Three random single people on a tour does not make sense. It does not make any sense!
A South Park reference doesn’t make much sense either, but I doubt that show will ever stop and I want to talk about it. Anyway, Gilligan and pals was fub to watch as a kid, even if I could tell how stupid it was in my 8 year old brain. As an adult, I don’t really find it all that fun. Maybe I’m wrong or just cynical, but I can’t help but feel the magic is gone. Maybe I’m just distracted by a puppy and my girlfriend wrapping presents, but I can’t talk about this campy little show anymore. I’ll just have to wish everyone a merry Christmas, a happy 4th day of Hanukkah, maybe a happy Festivus too. I’ll see you all next Friday with my final classic show of December.
I never mentioned that people thought this show was supposed to represent hell. Here is the same picture made in Hell vision. I kind of like it better.
Courtesy goes to: blurofinsanity.com, apps.widetoinfinity.com, wikipedia.org, and georgehernandez.com.