This is probably going to be my least photo-filled post of all time; apparently strips clubs frown on you bringing your own camera.
But I’ll still try to fill you all in on my evening Saturday. Like the title says, it was the launch party for www.jeanasslovers.com, a girl’s-in-jeans, non-nude fetish site featured in my coloumn before. A few months back the site officially went live and I chatted with my pretend-girlfriend Delilah Strong about it:
http://www.freakinawesomenetwork.net/2011/07/a-dviant-disquisition-odds-ends/
So it may have been around for a few months by now, but who am I too turn down a trip to the strip club!
Funnily enough, I am not a big strip-club guy. The situation doesn’t play well to my strengths, because all my awkward and shyness is assaulted by the strippers hustling powers, and that makes me act even more awkward to try and reach some sort of balance. But my social failings should come as no surprise to long-time readers.
The scene was Oz, a gentleman’s club in Clearwater that was filled with as many men as the show and somehow featured less bleached blondes then Nash’s WCW run. I had never been to the club, but my first impression was that it was very clean. It was also well lit, not overly so but there was never a question of whether or not the girl dancing was pretty or just nigthtime-pretty. All of the girls were very pretty as well, save maybe for one (who still was by no means ugly and had a very nice body), the one who decided that my ignoring her walking by was an invitation to sit in my lap.
We’ve all been there, or have if you’ve been to a strip-club. I never know what the proper etiquette is for asking someone to remove themselves from your cock, and I doubt I ever will. I always think it’s rude to be straight forward, though its probably best, and I hummed-and-hawed for a few minutes before she gave up in search of another target.
Now I do enjoy a good naked lady, but my schedule is packed coming up (the Night Moves Award Show is Monday) so I didn’t have the most money to spend. Most of my time was spent sitting back waiting for Delilah, and trying not to look to much at the girls dancing (looking at them naked without tipping is like stealing, right!?).
There was one girl I couldn’t avoid though. My buddy says her name was Britney. I don’t know. All I know is she looked Asian, and had some of the nicest natural boobs I’ve ever seen. They had to be lovely c’s, just perfect in every way. She was also SUPER cute, so we did visit the stage when she was up. She put my buddies head between her breasts and rubbed them up and down, and being the eternal dork I said “I too would like some of that breast rubbing please”. And then I got it, and it makes me want to cry how perfect it all was.
She was also the source of some fun later when my other buddy said “I don’t think she’s even Asian, she’s probably from the Philippines”.
Sadly my night was cut short. I wasn’t driving, and everyone else was ready to move on before I’d gotten much of a chance to see Delilah. She had arrived, but had been up in the VIP section and hadn’t gotten to come down among the masses yet. There was still a bunch of stuff to come but everyone was ready to go, meaning i had to miss the competition where women would be wearing tight jeas and then it was out job to stare at their asses. Dammit. I looped around the VIP to where she was and got her attention, a few quick kisses, and a nice new 8×10 I hadn’t picked up in the half -dozen other times I’d seen her. but she’ll be at the awards show too, so I’m hoping for a few more photo ops then this night allowed me. but hey, you got to see me in my shirt celebrating the launch, thats sexy right?
Right?
Okay fine pervs, here are some shots from the actual site.
