High School Movienalia continues with the second installment in the “High School Musical” trilogy. This one doesn’t take place in a high school, but a summer country club. Way to screw up the title, Disney! There’s double the amount of songs, more misunderstandings and Sharpay is even more annoying here than in the first. This can only spell trouble.
So, kick back, relax and enjoy my continuous torture of the “High School Musical” trilogy!
-“A Disney Channel Original Movie.” That’s never a good sign.
-All of these interior shots are more entertaining than the first movie. Why? The school is empty, meaning no annoying characters.
-Why exactly is a movie called “High School Musical 2” going to take place in the summer?
-I’m going to pistol whip the next person that says summer!
-They wasted no time breaking into song.
-Has anybody actually dropped from shopping?
-“What time is it?” It’s Vader time!
-Instead of staying in school and singing, why don’t you go home and start your summer vacation?
-“T as in Troy?” No, ‘T’ as in tallywacker. Of course it stands for Troy!
-We better get a montage of Gabriella learning how to skateboard.
-“It’s summer. Everything changes.” Evidently, nothing changed between this and the first one’s script.
-You already finished this song! You can’t start it up again.
-Since when do companies start randomly calling students for jobs?
-If it’s nothing, why would you yell “Yes!”?
-Does everything the Evans siblings own come in pink?
-I didn’t know they actually made life-sized Barbie cars.
-“Amateur performers are very draining.” If only the Disney executives would have thought the same thing before casting this movie.
-A guacamole facial sounds very dirty.
-Not much of a break for another musical number to kick in.
-“Lifeguards imported from Spain.” As long as they’re not illegal.
-“I want fabulous! That’s all I request.” All I request is a better movie.
-Sharpay freaking out over water may be the funniest thing I’ve seen in awhile.
-You’re telling me the only way to hire Troy was to hire the entire East High School alumni? To quote The Miz, “Really? Really?!? REALLY?!?”
-Chumps is an insult, not a synonym for friends.
-Why exactly would anybody, let alone the boss of the country club, be intimidated by Sharpay?
-If you get to know Sharpay, you’ll want to put your head in a deep fryer.
-Was Jason dropped on his head when he was a kid?
-So, we’re only getting five minute breaks in between songs. I guess I can’t complain, as musical is in the title.
-Of course the job is hard and boring. That’s the point, you idiots!
-If you don’t like your job, you quit. You don’t break into song.
-“We’ve got to work this out!” I imagine they sang this in between takes, as well, to get through filming.
-“Who said anything about golf?” You did, when you said golf course.
-“I want to remember this summer, Troy.” Good or bad, that’s not hard to do.
-How hard is it to kiss?
-How do sprinklers put you in the mood to dance?
-“Na na na na. Na na na na. Yeah.” I wonder how long it took her to come up with that!
-My five minutes are up. Back to musical numbers.
-“It’s like I knew you before we met.” That’s about as deep as a kiddy pool.
-Aren’t you supposed to be working?
-Remember when I said Sharpay freaking out about water was the funniest thing I’ve seen in awhile? Troy playing peek-a-boo behind the piano just topped that.
-“The Troy & Gabriella Show.” I’m surprised that didn’t become a show on Disney.
-Troy and Chad were just skipping arm in arm together. The creepy fan fiction writes itself.
-Thrill as Troy talks about golf!
-Did Sharpay’s mother just try to make the phrase, “I’m in the sand” sexy?
-Sharpay is like those annoying pull string toys that break and don’t shut up.
-Soap operas have better written rich people than the ones in this movie.
-You’ve already talked about golf. Move on!
-Replay Troy screaming about ten times and you’ve got my feelings on this movie.
-Any person who has a list of “Boy Rules” for boyfriends isn’t the best relationship counselor.
-Jumping into a pool is crazy?
-Just fucking kiss her already!
-Want to prevent Gabriella from getting into trouble, Troy? Stop making her break the rules. It’s that simple.
-Doing jumping jacks right next to the pool is a dumb idea.
-Of course Sharpay knows what she’s up to. That’s the benefit of being yourself; you know what your plan is.
-Troy’s been there for two days and already got a promotion. I’m calling bullshit!
-Everybody has untapped potential.
-“Make the ball fear you.” You do know golf balls are inanimate, right Troy?
-Even her balls are pink! Okay, that sounded weird.
-“That girl has more moves than an octopus in a wrestling match.” Words cannot describe how pathetic that line is.
-Asking somebody if your shoes look nice does not mean you’re cheating. Could these characters be any dumber?
-Skin tone compatibility? Really, movie?
-Troy becoming a jackass came out of nowhere.
-“What am I supposed to do with my tiki warrior outfit?” I hear tryouts for “Deadliest Warrior” are open.
-So, not only do Troy’s friends start to hate him, but the Evans siblings are having communication problems. Ugh!
-“Promise is a really big word, Troy.” Actually, it’s a pretty small one. Unless, that is, your reading level is at the third grade.
-Troy doing his job doesn’t make him an asshole. With friends like these, who needs dumbasses?
-Remember when you ostracized Troy for singing, Chad? That was being a dick. Troy making new friends and succeeding at his job isn’t.
-They’ve screwed with golf and basketball. Now, it’s baseball’s turn.
-“But, I don’t dance!” You’ve danced numerous times, Chad. Stop making a fool out of yourself.
-Putting your hands on a bat doesn’t take talent.
-It’s actually been awhile since we’ve had a musical number.
-Not going to lie; I’d love to see a baseball game break down into song.
-Who hits bunt when a runner is on third base?
-I’m going to catch hell for this, but “I Don’t Dance” is actually a catchy song.
-Back to basketball. Any chance football gets some screen time?
-You know what would be a nice change of pace? Troy and Gabriella not having issues.
-Troy and Gabriella do know how to talk, right?
-I wonder if people actually play “Dr. Phil”.
-I take it Jillian Hall studied Sharpay’s (intentional) bad singing skills in this movie for inspiration for her character.
-It’s sad when a country club musical has better production values than a TNA event.
-Why is Troy’s voice cracking? Is he just now hitting puberty?
-Yes, Sharpay, you are special. In a more derogatory way, though.
-I see Zac Efron is learning the “Random Scene With Your Shirt Off” routine that Matthew McConaughey has made famous.
-Five year olds have better comebacks than Sharpay.
-I love how the dog seems to hate working on this movie.
-What the hell is “An Onion for Papa”?!?
-“No discussions, Miss McKessie.” That would make this movie so much better.
-How dare Troy work on attaining his scholarship. That evil bastard!
-You don’t break into song during and emotional argument.
-Most people write breakup poetry. Gabriella writes and performs a breakup song to perform for Troy.
-This song is strongly reminiscent of Gabriella’s sad song from the first film. Did they borrow that script and simply move the words around?
-If this father-son talk is as groan inducing as the one in the first film, I may hurl.
-The spirit of Michael Jackson has just overtaken Troy.
-If you can hear your heart talking, you may want to consult a psychiatrist.
-Your plan is to dance around in the sand?
-“A duet means two people.” Congratulations, Sharpay! You know English!
-I don’t think there’s such a thing as a tap dancing epic.
-Is it wrong that I actually hope Sharpay does break a leg?
-All Troy had to do to salvage “being a jerk” was tell Sharpay off and tell Chad, “Brothers fight.” People actually got paid to write this script. How sad is that?
-That sock puppet act is going to give me nightmares.
-We all like Troy more than you, Sharpay.
-Why does the girl’s vocal exercise sound like a dying cat?
-Nobody can learn a new song right before a performance.
-Welcome back to the movie, Gabriella!
-Troy looks like an altar boy in that outfit.
-Troy needs to stop using the dice roll. It looks goofy.
-Troy getting startled by his friends was hysterical!
-When did this musical turn into “Hands Across America”?
-Where the hell did Sharpay come from?!?
-How much do you want to bet that Sharpay’s change of heart won’t carry on into the third film?
-Was the shooting star necessary?
-It’s about time you two kissed!
-Do we need to see the staff pool party? Can’t this movie just end?
-I don’t think your jobs are done, folks. You probably work the rest of the summer, too.
-This pool is overflowing with people. How many people are on the payroll?
-“What could be better?” If this movie ended.
-Where the hell did Miley Cyrus come from?!?
Two down, one to go. At the very least, I’m grateful that this sequel was better than the original, though not by much. Even then, that’s like saying having your leg run over by a car is better than being run over by a MACK truck. At least I got a few laughs and a catchy song out of this one. Here’s hoping the third installment is even less painful.