Genius in thought.
Snake Mountain – Entry #2371
Skeletor wants us all to meet in his throne room for his next “brilliant plan” to rid the world of He-Man and take over Castle Greyskull. Here’s what I think will happen:
- – Beastman will fart
- – We’ll have to kidnap someone
- – Some giant slingshot
- – Trap-Jaw will say something stupid
Gotta go…Mer-Man’s finally out of the damn shower. He’s been in there for two weeks.
Entry #2372
So guess what? We’ve got to kidnap Prince Adam, and threaten the King with a giant slingshot machine that throws big rocks. What a fucking genius. I was wrong about Beastman (he only belched) but Trap-Jaw did ask how many tickets the giant slingshot cost. I’m surrounded by morons.
Entry #2373
Designing this stupid slingshot in my lab. This is a simple job for a man with such a keen eye such as myself, but of course Skeletor wants it to be a vehicle so he can show it off at the evil villains convention. He also mandated that it have some scary face on it. I almost…ALMOST got him to call it the Vile Over the Shoulder Boulder Holder until Evil-Lyn told Skeletor what that meant. Bitch.
Entry #2374
I’d sure hate to be stuck in a porno theater with Fisto.
Entry #2375
I went along with Trap-Jaw and Beastman so they wouldn’t fuck up kidnapping Prince Adam. Also there’s a funny smell in my lab and I know it’s Stinkor hiding out in there. Smelly bastard. We found Prince Adam frolicking in some field picking flowers. Let me restate that…a grown man frolicking around picking fucking flowers. I want to poke all three of my eyes out.
...fucking FLOWERS!
Entry #2376
Sitting here watching the tied up Prince Adam. I have an IQ of 215 and I’m playing a fucking babysitter. Meanwhile the rest of the group are having a party where I’m sure Whiplash is going to sleep with one of the guys and claim the booze made him. Sure pal, sure. Looking at the prince I can’t help but notice his funny haircut and his ridiculously big arms. He looks like he could tear us to shreds…except for that stupid ass daffodil behind his ear. I hope Skeletor’s jaw falls off.
Entry #2377
Skeletor finally made his threat to destroy Castle Greyskull, but the King was laughing his balls off. Not exactly what Skeletor wanted. So now we’re heading out to avenge Skeletor’s fragile ego. I at least get off of babysitting duty, as Two-Bad were given that task. The boss is driving the Boulder Basher (what a stupid name) so the rest of us have to load up in the Battle Bones, this huge walking skeleton. We’re strapped in some dead monster’s ribcage. I’d rather ride a Greyhound bus full of smelly hippies.
Nobody wants to hear your protest songs, Mekaneck!
Entry #2378
If Jitsu talks about how many blocks he can karate chop one more time, I’m gonna take his oversized hand and turn him into the worst proctologist ever.
Entry #2379
Well we fucking lost. Again. He-Man came out, waved his magic sword, and kicked all our asses. The Battle Bones was hit so hard it turned into a storage shed. He smashed the boulder to rubble, along with the Boulder Basher. Skeletor ran away while the rest of us got pummeled by a guy with no neck and a damn midget magician. We’re such a group of losers. Right before I lost consciousness due to He-Man’s giant fist, I noticed his stupid haircut and his giant arms….wait a fuckin sec….