(spoilers ahead)
It’s game time once again, bitches. There are times in life when you just have to bite the bullet and work with people you absolutely can’t stand, something Cookie finds out the hard way in Empire’s second season premiere.
Despite her preoccupation with staging a “Free Lucious” rally after his arrest last episode (including donning a potentially controversial gorilla suit, then giving an impassioned speech on criminal justice inside a cage to open the show), she’s still mostly focused on closing a deal with investor Mimi Whiteman, played by Marisa Tomei as a female-preferring flirt. Of course Cookie hosts Mimi an LGBT-themed party to sweeten the offer and recruits Anika to get more “personal time” with their new client, but not after ripping Don Lemon hard under her breath following an interview.
Meanwhile Lucious stews behind bars, complaining about Vernon to a visiting Jamal- not quite aware of the little mild disagreement (yes, that’s sarcasm) Vernon had with Andre and Rhonda, which didn’t end well for him considering Andre’s frequent nightmares over the incident. His day doesn’t get much better as Frank Gathers arrives in the prison, played by Chris Rock as one of the allegedly most fearsome mobsters in the Empire universe, despite looking as if he’d possibly lose a boxing match to a fourteen year old kid.
As Cookie’s cousin Jermel frets over what the weedy but brutal Gathers might do next, Jamal is overwhelmed with stress and overwork over having to run his father’s music company. His boyfriend does what he can to sooth his wounds in some honestly charming scenes between Jussie Smollett and Rafael De La Fuente. (Shout out to all the #JaMichael shippers.) Hakeem isn’t much happier these days, mainly over his brother ignoring both him and his aspiring career, and not getting much help with his upcoming album aside from being told his cover blows.
Sadly, Anika’s charms apparently aren’t enough to satisfy Whiteman’s sophisticated pallet, as she turns her back on Team Cookie’s deal and goes with a better offer from Lucious- who appears on-screen to taunt our heroes live from his cell. I swear to God, he looks like Shredder from Ninja Turtles when he would interrupt the Turtles’ transmission or something and talk shit. Remember when he’d do that? Cookie’s critique of Anika’s skills as a lesbian is arguably the most vicious and hilarious line of the night.
Lucious’s interest in the rapping skills of Frank’s daughter aren’t enough to take his mind off of getting revenge on Cookie, which he makes evident with the old head-in-a-box gag mailed to her house. The Lyon matriarch of course immediately takes action and orders the family at Lucious’s old mansion on lockdown, then meets with the devil himself in prison. Cookie is willing to put up with Lucious ripping on her hairdo if he means her family can be protected, and believe it or not there’s not still enough bad blood between them to endanger the kids.
In a private meeting with Frank, Lucious coldly turns the tables on the pint-sized gangster with the help of some low friends in low places, siccing them on Gathers like a pack of hungry wolves. Afterwards Cookie hopes for your typical sitcom ending where everyone laughs because things are back to normal, but Jamal is still angry at Cookie and her alliance for trying to wrest control of Empire from his dad. Two hard slaps from Momma don’t do much to change his mind, and this great season opener closes with him brooding as battle lines are clearly being drawn.
Odds and Ends
– Bravo stylist and fashion critic Miss Lawrence has a fun guest appearance as a GLAAD representative giving Jamal an award, and I have to say his version of Sylvester’s “You Make Me Feel (Mighty Real)” is pretty damn good.
– I agree with the forum, Anika? Huge jobber. She twerks like her ass is made of lead.
– I don’t know if he was being entirely serious, but Lucious’s final comments to Frank regarding his daughter? Eeeewwww.