I started the 2015 Summer of the Cinemasochist Tour with “Computer Beach Party,” a lame 80s sex romp that was too boring to elicit excitement. Now, I end the tour with “Happy Campers,” a 2001 dark sex romp that’s too aggressive and obnoxious to elicit excitement. Whereas “Computer Beach Party” took no risks, “Happy Campers” takes too many risks, pushing the envelope for no other reason than to do so. Some would say this summer tour has come full circle with these two films; I honestly don’t even care if that’s the case. I wasted my time with two films that had a simple formula to follow, yet they couldn’t even accomplish that.
“Happy Campers” takes place during a disastrous summer at Camp Bleeding Dove. Oberon (Peter Stormare) rules the camp with an iron fist, keeping the unruly children and sex-starved camp counselors in check. Tragedy strikes when Oberon is struck by lightning and put into a coma. This leaves the grossly inadequate camp counselors in charge, with the camp expectedly going off the rails quickly.
The camp counselors include: Wichita (Brad Renfro), the cool and edgy guy that shows no emotion and everyone likes; Talia (Emily Bergl), the cool and edgy chick that shows emotion and everyone tolerates; Wendy (Dominique Swain), the perky, innocent girl who follows the rulebook to a tee; Adam (Jordan Bridges), the jock asshole who pushes the kids around and constantly talks about sex; Donald (Justin Long), the stereotypical geek that never gets laid; Jasper (Keram Malicki-Sanchez), the gay outcast; and Pixel (Jaime King), the bizarre one who dresses exotically and constantly talks about sex. All of these counselors are supposed to be friends, or at the very least acquaintances, but they have no chemistry together. The most shocking example would be Wichita and Talia, who are supposed best friends, but don’t act like it. I understand there’s supposed to be tension throughout the film, given Talia professed her love to Wichita early on, only to be rejected, but I never even felt a personal connection between the two from the outset.
At least the counselors are given character traits. None of the campers are given any identity, outside of an overweight boy who freaks out when someone touches him. This is used as a lame running gag involving counselors and campers accidentally touching the kid, only for him to freak out. At one point, Adam catches him looking at a porno magazine and punishes him by tying him to a pole and having his fellow campers continually touch him in a scene that resembles the torture sequences from the “Hellraiser” films. Coming to the rescue is Pixel, who denounces Adam and calls him a monster. Mind you, Pixel is the same counselor who told the young girls that semen tastes like salty pancake batter and taught them how to smoke. Who’s the real monster here?
I understand what Daniel Waters is trying to do; he’s taking the tropes of summer camp movies and teen dramas from the late nineties and flipping them on their head, adding copious amounts of raunch and dark humor to the material to highlight the ludicrousness of it all. Another summer camp film from 2001, “Wet Hot American Summer,” would follow a similar path, but that film went for a more outlandish approach and, for the most part, nailed its satire. “Happy Campers” fails because it’s never sharp or smart enough in its attack on the tropes and clichés; it thinks it is, but it’s too obnoxious about everything that it becomes grating.
What’s surprising is that Daniel Waters has a good track record, specifically in the field of dark teenage comedies. Waters wrote the smart and funny “Heathers,” which was also a dark teenage comedy that had an edge to it. With “Heathers” though the characters were worth caring about and the script was clever. Waters didn’t direct “Heathers,” only writing the screenplay, as to where with “Happy Campers” he wrote and directed the film. It seems as if Waters needs a filter for his scripts in order for them to work on screen, as he doesn’t have a good handle on the characters or the proceedings in order to make them work.
The dialogue is easily the worst aspect of “Happy Campers” and it’s what drove me insane throughout the ninety-one minute runtime. I’m not sure if the dialogue read better on paper than it did coming out on screen, but I highly doubt that. Actually, I’m going to put that to the test. I’m going to provide some quotes from the film and see if it reads well:
“Wichita’s a man with anarchy in his eyes.”
“Nobody asked you to be a homosexual. You can’t complain about being treated gay when you are gay.”
“I don’t want to be the guy that steals the cherry off her banana split.”
“How do you go from being friends with a guy to wanting to stick the thing he goes to the bathroom with in your mouth?”
“It’s possible for someone to go their whole life without listening to their soul.”
“Isn’t fun great?”
“That wasn’t a period; that was an exclamation point!” *this was in regards to a young camper getting her first period*
“Call me a lunatic, but I think you’re simply wonderful!”
“I’m starting to believe in God. The thing is, I kinda like the guy.”
“Don’t get “Breakfast Club” on me, bitch!”
“One day they’ll find a cure for AIDS but not one for sex.”
“Causing pain is the coolest thing you can do, but cool isn’t what it used to be.”
I was right; none of those read well at all (well, the “Breakfast Club” line was worth a chuckle). If used properly as satire they could work, but Waters has the cast deliver them way too obnoxiously for that to work. I’ll give credit to the cast, as they all tried their hardest to make their stereotypes work, even attempting to breathe more life into them. However, they don’t have a good captain to steer them in the right direction. Instead, Waters steers them off the cliff in hopes of it eliciting a shock.
“Happy Campers” simply tries too hard to be edgy and hip that it becomes what it’s mocking: the idiots who try too hard to be edgy and hip. Waters throws stuff at the wall in hopes it’ll stick without taking any consideration as to why and how it should stick. Examples include frogs being blown up with dynamite, water balloons being made out of condoms, Oberon acting like a werewolf after awakening from a coma, Pixel teaching the boys to strip, and Pixel randomly fingering Wendy whilst talking about teaching the girls about stimulating the clitoris.
I didn’t even mention the pairings of the counselors in regards to their sexual partners and that’s because all of the relationships come across as window dressing for the raunchiness. Talia is in love with Wichita, but he’s inexplicably smitten with Wendy, who also is inexplicably smitten with him, all the while Donald is secretly in love with Wendy, Adam and Pixel hook up so they have someone to do, and Jasper has the hots for Wichita and tries to make a move on him (including making a strange bet that, if he can get an uncoordinated camper to catch a football, he’s allowed to give Wichita a blowjob); when that fails, he winds up sleeping with the cook just so he has someone to be with. The only counselor who doesn’t have a partner is Donald and that’s so he can provide the lousy “lonely geek” jokes and instigate the condom water balloon battle. Don’t worry folks, Donald gets Wendy in the end. I would’ve provided a spoiler warning before that, but it’s blatantly obvious that’s where the direction is headed that I feel sorry for you if you didn’t see it coming.
There was one line of dialogue I forgot to mention earlier and that’s because it’s actually a good line of dialogue. This line of dialogue not only works in the context of the film (as it’s targeted at Wichita), but as a criticism on the film. That line of dialogue is “You’re not as cool as you think you are.” I couldn’t think of a more fitting criticism for this film than that.
Final Rating: D-