LONELY ISLAND MOVIE NOT PART OF YOUR SYSTEM
With Adam Samberg demonstrating that he has several more acting chops than you might think in Brooklyn Nine-Nine (though not as many as Andre Braugher, I mean seriously, did that Golden Globe get lost in the mail?), and appearing in the HBO tennis mockumentary 7 Days in Hell, its a good time to see stuff with his face in it, which is why you might be interested to hear that Universal has scheduled a Lonely Island movie with Samberg, Akiva Schaffer and Jorma Taccone all appearing. Michael Bolton is not confirmed as yet, but what else could he possibly be doing?
Variety reports that Judd Apatow will be helping to produce the as-yet untitled movie with the Lonely Island boys and Rodney Rothman. This will allow you to finally see a dick in a box on the big screen (in 3D??). The film is scheduled for June 3rd 2016, alongside Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2, the kind of movie Lonely Island characters might enjoy watching. It’s kismet!
LET US ALL LAUGH AT FIFA
United Passions, the movie about FIFA and its glorious, awe-inspiring history and unimpeachable record with corruption which in a sheer coincidence was paid for by FIFA was released in the US at just the exact time when they were finally brought under the scrutiny of the FBI, many members were arrested on charges of corruption and bribery, and FIFA president/Actual Bond Villain Sepp Blatter finally resigned. It’s perhaps not the best time to go see a movie about how great FIFA are, which is why the film made $607 at the weekend. It cost $27 million to make.
The film ran in a mere 10 theaters in the US, the American public uninterested in whatever reason in the story of Sepp Blatter signing lucrative sponsorship deals with Adidas and Coca Cola and vaguely rooting out corruption that doesn’t actually exist and according to Reuters its first screening was seen by a mere two people. You hope they knew each other. Perhaps they were working for the FBI and it was for collecting evidence.
This isn’t exactly big news but I will take any opportunity I can to mock FIFA, particularly as I actually watched United Passions and have been suffering ever since. They might take the World Cup from Qatar but they can never the image from my mind of Blatter lauded as a hero at the end of that movie, so ha ha, ha ha ha ha.