Did you know Pauly Shore had a show on Fox? Well, I’m going to take you into the only existing episode to show up on the Internet.
The episode is called “Through The Ringers”.
We start with this lady named Dawn (who is a trophy wife) hanging with Dionne Warwick. Pauly hates Dawn, and thinks Dawn is only dating his dad for the money. That’s right, Pauly is the noble one on this show. Dawn apparently hit Dionne with her car to try to get her to show up at a charity function. This is when Pauly arrives and scares off Dionne Warwick. Are you trying to tell me people run away from Pauly Shore when he’s in the room? Don’t worry Weasel; I’ll still let you munch on the grindage.
Pauly end’s up finding out that Dawn was in a movie called “Slammer Sluts”. A real highbrow affair, but could it be any more embarrassing than “Whiskey Business”? Pauly then scares off Penny Marshall from being part of a fundraiser. Hollywood avoiding Pauly, if this keeps up… we will never get “Biodome 2”. Our Ecosystem is doomed! Dawn ends up hiring a hooker for Pauly to fall in love with. Christina Applegate plays the role of the hooker; Kelly Bundy has the worst luck with men. Pauly and his friend Burt discover that the hooker was Dawn’s co-star on Slammer Sluts. Who knew someone from Slammer Sluts would be so dishonest. Pauly pays the hooker to double cross Dawn. I like network shows where I can recap it with phrases like “Pauly pays a hooker”.
The double cross includes Mariah and Pauly pretending to get married and move in together. Then Pauly ends up playing a song dedicated to the hooker, too bad her name isn’t Lisa… Pauly already has that song locked down.
Dawn realizes that Mariah is faking being in love with Pauly. When Mariah is on her way out of the house, she fakes an injury to be able to sue. For some reason, Erik Estrada shows up. They think Erik is the celebrity impersonator they hired to trick Mariah into gold digging with. Mariah and Estrada leave together in his Mercedes (and not his motorcycle). A Michael Jackson impersonator shows up and dances to a knock off “Beat It” instrumental with Pauly.
To say this is the greatest episode of television would be a stretch. But I will say they should release the seven episodes to ITUNES. Come on Fox, do it! It can’t cost you much to dump old failed shows online for us crazy people who need retro Pauly Shore.