After spending the holiday break off on hiatus, El Rey’s Lucha Underground graced our screens again with what might have been its best episode yet.
Backstory: When we last left Lucha Underground, Fenix and Mil Muertes won two 10-man matches respectively to fight for a “unique opportunity”. That opportunity was to compete in Aztec Warfare, a 20-man Royal Rumble where you subtract the over-the-top-rope eliminations and add in pins and submissions and No DQ rules. The winner would receive the Lucha Underground World Title which I’m pretty sure is magical Aztec treasure in kayfabe. Mil Muertes won, as usual, which meant that he earned the position of #20 while Fenix had to start all the way at #1.
This week: Striker and Vampiro introduce us to show with Striker’s trademark attempts to sound like a smark, and Vamp’s trademark “bro” being repeated every 6 seconds.
Dario “El Jefe” Cueto comes out to say that Aztec Warfare’s winnner will get the LU World Title that is made from “the ancient gold of the seven Aztec tribes”, so yeah, totally magic.
Fenix comes to ring and his opponent is none other than Johnny Cage Mundo!
Subtle.
Mr. Cisco runs down to ramp and gets immediately eliminated by Johnny who nails ’em with the End of the World (Starship Pain). I just can’t take cholo gimmicks seriously after Hunico took it to its peak with the bicycle.
King Cuerno, Son of Havoc, and Pimpinella Escarlata come out at 4, 5, and 6 respectively. King Cuerno is just fantastic when I see him, he’s like if Randy Orton had an actual purpose when wrestling instead of just stalling with headlocks for 10 minutes.
The golden boy of Lucha Underground, Prince Puma arrives at #7. A mystery woman shows up in full dominatrix-gear in the stands of the audience. I’m pretty sure she’s Angela Fong, but for comedy’s sake I’m calling her Mysterious Matrix Madame.
Son of Havoc’s girl, Ivelisse, runs to the ring at #8. Wasn’t she complaining about women having to fight men a couple of episodes back?
Drago, the ACTUAL RE-INCARNATED DRAGON, comes out at #9 and hits Fenix with a sick DDT, but can’t get the pin on him. King Cuerno pins Ivelisse for an elimination sending her straight back to the Sons of Anarchy youtube parody video she came from.
Out at #10, it’s Cholo #2, aka Bael. Prince Puma eliminates Son of Havoc and then de-masks him, revealing he was Charlie Hunnam the whole time. #11 is Cholo Number 3, Cortez Castro! He’s followed up by pro wrestling superstar, Ricky Mandel at #12. Puma and Johnny Mundo re-unite to land double 450 Splashes on Bael and Cortez, eliminating both.
Number #13 is the head cholo himself, Big Ryck (Ezekial Jackson). One of the best things about watching LU is that they remember the lost art of booking wrestlers to their strengths and hiding weaknesses. All Ryck’s done in Lucha Underground is squash people and use his muscles to dominate everyone, and that’s what a guy like Big Ryck should always do. Ryck eliminates Mandel and we’re at the halfway point of the episode.
Random thought: There’s no video screens in The Temple, so instead they get Aztec drummers to indicate a new wrestler is coming to the ring. Does anything more need to be said?
King Cuerno eliminates his arch-nemsis, Drago. Cuerno really needs to blow a horn every time he pins someone. And OH MY GOODNESS, Cuerno is eliminated by Johnny Mundo! I always knew there was a reason why I hated you, Johnny.
ICP member Pentagon Jr arrives at #14, followed by Super Fly at #15. Times have been rough for Super Fly after the mysterious murder of his girlfriend, maybe they’ll find that monster one day. #16 is Pentagon’s pal, Chavo Guerrero who comes out with his amigo, “Amigo” the steel chair. That would’ve come in handy against Hornswoggle, Chavo. Super Fly is blasted with Amigo, and then so is Pentagon! Chavo pins both of them for the elimination, and cements his status as the best heel in wrestling not named Seth.
Random thought: Most heel commentators try to rationalize the actions of heels, but Vampiro just eggs them on. He’s straight up giggling when Chavo nails people with chairshots to the face.
#17 is the world’s greatest mini, Mascarita Sagrada Jr. Lucha Underground’s thing is that “anyone can step in the ring”, but it gets aggravating with Striker does the whole “look how small he is, he’s got quite an uphill battle here, I hope he can rise to challenge!” crap. It just goes against the whole thing that LU is trying to sell itself on. #18 is Chavo’s arch-nemesis, Sexy Star cosplaying as Ms. Marvel. Terrible name, awesome wrestler.
Big Ryck and Mascarita have a stand-off that ends in the ultimate upset! Mascarita eliminates Big Ryck with a hurricarana! Psych, Ryck pins him with a clothesline. #19 is the waiter from down the street, El Mariachi Loco. For a guy who is basically the Heath Slater of the company, Mariachi gets a lot of offense in during his matches, he even manages to get Big Ryck shaken up.
Unstoppable force, pretty movable object.
#20 is the kinda-sorta Grim Reaper, Mil Muertes. Muertes looks kinda short standing next to Big Ryck, but that doesn’t matter since their stand-off manages to be completely bad-ass. Muertes eliminates Mariachi Loco while Chavo and Fenix eliminate Big Ryck. Chavo slams Amigo’s face in Fenix’s for the pin. Sexy Star goes after Chavo to destroy him with her bare hands, but Amigo meets her face as well. It looks like Sexy is doomed until BLUE DEY-MUN JR returns! Blue Demon got annihilated by Chavo months ago, and it feels so satisfying to see him get vengeance. Sexy hits Chavo with the chair and pins him, officially ending misogyny in wrestling forever.
Unfortunately, Sexy gets eliminated, and so does Muertes after a heinous 2-on-1 assualt on both Muertes and his lovely assistant, Catrina. It’s all down to Prince Puma and Johnny Mundo, the men that were in the main event of the first episode of Lucha Underground. Mundo hits Puma with End of the World but Puma kicks out! And Puma nails Mundo with a 630 Splash and gets the pin.
Magical Aztec gold.
And so Prince Puma, the kid from Boyle Heights that turned out to be a descendant of ancient Aztec warriors, is our first ever Lucha Underground World Champion. This was a great episode to return to, this felt more like a season finale considering every storyline had some type of involvement in this match. Prince Puma was the right choice to have be champion, and I can’t wait to see where his story goes next.