Who wants to talk about a show featuring a middle aged witch? I almost guessed Sabrina but the title alone rules it out, so I must be talking about “Bewitched”! I know one guy may be thinking, “You asked the question. If you wanted to do a review on Sabrina you would have. This is your choice in suburban witches.” Before you get to snippy, I already did so pay attention. We’re going witch house wife this Friday; deal with it people arguing with me that I made up.
I know there is a lot of magic in this show (pun?). There is an attractive witch, an uptight husband, a meddling witch mother in law, a half mortal daughter is mixed in and a flamboyant uncle comes around. But who wants to know my favorite character in this show? No one?
No. Talk about me and my suffering!
No Derwood (worst in insult ever by the way. Meathead is still the best) I’ll talk about the injustice of your life in a bit. First F.A.N. readers must know that my favorite character in this show is Abner Kravitz. He and his wife gave birth to the pop singer Lenny (not true) and they raised him right across the street (still a lie) from the evil witches and Dick Sergeant. Abner is one of the greatest portrayals of the beaten man ever. His stupid wife Gladys continually snoops on the neighbors and reports to him. He doesn’t give a single fuck. I hate to curse, but he should really be the poster boy for the internet meme. His wife is even right most of the time with the crazy things she sees, but he’s so used to her normally being a dingbat that he is just depressed. He looks like a popped air mattress for god sake. Occasionally he’ll even placate her and get off the couch. But he’ll find nothing, thus confirming she’s annoying. I also want to point out how great it is that I can say whatever I want in this review, but our message board is censored. Deal with it.
My other point of contention from this show is how they just replace actors and actresses. Did people back then not pay attention? I mean, Gladys Kravitz’s portrayer changed because the original passed away and they just replaced her. Could we not just have them move out and have a new neighbor? Are we that lazy?
On the nose you say?
Yes we are. When Darrin Stevens is recast mid serie, there is a problem. He’s the second most important person on the show. I understand that Dick York (better) has serious back problems and it made him unable to perform, but couldn’t we just let him lay there and keep playing him? His wife is a witch. He doesn’t have to work for that windbag Tate! The second Darrin (Dick Sargent) was fine in the role; it’s just an unenviable task. Replacing the second billed character in a popular show is just a glaring change. Imagine if they replaced Norm in “Cheers” with a 6’5 black guy? That would be kind of obvious. They would have been better off having him die at the hands of his mother in law. Then we could have had Samantha conjure her dead husband back but he looks different since that’s some kind of magic law. I don’t know, I’m not a well paid Hollywood writer, but I think that’s a better pass than just ignoring. Right?
It could have worked. She wants to murder him.
The main character of this program is Samantha Stevens. It’s odd that she’s a magical creature and isn’t all that interesting. She’s kind of timid and unassuming. She has to handle her mother hating her husband sure, but that’s a normal sitcom folly. She has the ability to twitch her nose and make magic, yet is pretty milquetoast. Her choice in a mate then makes sense because Darrin is a bit of a pantywaist. Andura’s anger at the choice makes sense because she’s an evil witch and has similar traits to a stubborn father in Texas. “Ya’ll are muddying up the bloodlines! That half-breed granddaughter of mine is not acceptable!” Andura couldn’t be considered a racist, but if speciest is a thing…
Thank god for Paul Lynde right? It was great when he was he would show up and be all snippy and ornery. Then he and his niece would rip off plots and scenes from “I Love Lucy” and shove bananas in their mouths. It was always a hoot. Oh the days when a comedian was gay but it wasn’t his only characteristic. I’m being nostalgic for a time before I was born, what do I know?
There also was a little girl named Tabitha born that I mentioned before. She ended up having 4 or 5 different actresses portraying her, a spinoff cartoon and a spinoff sitcom. That’s weird because she rarely seemed to matter. I could be wrong since I’m working from memory, but unless she really took off in the last season I don’t think so.
“Bewitched” was a fantastic old show. It had magic, drama and the raw sex appeal of Paul Lynde. I would rank it above “I Dream of Jeannie” mainly because Samantha wasn’t a brain dead mental patient. Sure Jeannie had the stomach showing, but I’m alive now and that just doesn’t hold up in terms of television seduction. I’ll take a nose twitch over a weird nod any day. Now since I’m rehashing scenes from “That 70’s show” I think I’ll just end here. LOOK AT THIS!
