Growing up I was a Nickelodeon kid. Every so often Disney or Cartoon Network could grab me, but normally I was all about the big orange couch and slime. As I got older, one Disney show managed to draw me over to mouse world. The others I’ve reviewed this month (and “Recess”, got it in again) obviously entertained me enough, but this show is the subject of the review (review) today because it really spoke to teenage me. I’m not exactly sure why. Maybe I understood being attracted to weird girls, being goofy and having an older sister that was embarrassed of me.
And I’ll get this out of the way now: I know lead actor Shia LeBouf is an enormous douchebag now. I get that. When this was filmed he was a teenager and he might have already been a jerk, but I’d like to pretend that he wasn’t. He also did a really good job in the movie “Holes” so I’m giving him a pass. At least he’s a good actor right? I can’t take him seriously as a good person anymore. I’d like to think the “Transformers” movies inflated his ego. I also first saw him as a very young kid and “Freaks and Geeks” and that gives him a little boost in my eyes.
And this. Most actors can't bend their faces like that.
“Even Stevens” was centered on the Stevens (duh) family and their oddball son Louis. He lives with his father (another Freaks and Geeks player) and mother. His sister Ren and brother Donny often make little Louis look like a chump, and he kind of was one, but he tried to make up for it by lying and scheming. That’s admirable right? His best pals were Twitty, a goth girl and another “Freaks and Geeks” standout one Gordon Crisp.
See? Look how cute fat kids can be. He should have been more famous before he got old and weird looking.
Louis and his sister Ren are the main centers of the show. I’d say it normally split 70/30 in favor of Louis, but of course they needed to draw the tween girls in from time to time. This was around the height of “Lizzie McGuire” and they needed to bring some matching chromosomes to light. The conflict is obvious: Ren is a pretty, popular, egghead that is often frustrated or embarrassed by her goofy little brother. The kid wears brightly colored sweatpants and Hawaiian shirts, so I could see maybe shying away from claiming him. Louis tends to enjoy messing with his sister since she seems to not hate fun. Think of it like a Spongebob v. Squidward situation, only both are a lot more likeable.
Or not.
And if we stick with that analogy, enter Patrick in the form of Donny Stevens. He’s not Louis’ best friend, but he sure is stupid and big. He was a jock and funneled all his energy into that. I don’t remember him being too involved in many plots. I know he played a role in the movie, but Dave Coulier was in that so I’m going to ignore it as much as possible. Donny looked a little old to be in high school still, which normally isn’t weird, but for once the other two kids in the family actually looked their ages. Needless to say he stuck out and it normally seemed like the writers forgot about him. Sadly for him so did I.
See? Donny isn't even showing up anywhere. So I put this instead.
The parents are pretty milquetoast. Tom Virtue continues his pretty successful career of blending in with the furniture playing Steve Stevens. Old Steve played football for Michigan in college and is now a lawyer. Mother Eileen is a state senator and isn’t very fun. The Stevens family seems to have money based on their employment fields, but I don’t remember that coming up. It makes sense I guess for Louis and his friends to be acting out against the rich mommies and daddies, but that may be a little heavy for Disney. How else could he have afforded this?
Louis’ best pal Twitty is a representation of a California teen. He’s tan, blonde, plays guitar, is a hit with the ladies and plays a bevy of sports. He also says “dude” a lot. Luckily he’s kind of stupid so he hangs with a lunatic, a goth girl,and a nerd. He also knows to never say “my bad” when playing catch. What a reference huh? I defy anyone to know what I’m talking about.
You could have worse best friends
Tawny Dean is Louis’ other best pal and eventually they date. That’s how television works after all. She’s only cheerful around old Lou. She’s not all that distinctive other than the typical Goth stuff. Other than her we’ve got Tom. He’s just some nerd. Ren also has some friends named Monique and Ruby. I apologize to everyone in this paragraph for being short because I forgot until right now I have to talk about freakin’ Beans.
I've never wanted to beat a child to death before.
The shark in “Even Stevens” is played by Steven Lawrence. This poor guy is bowling shoe ugly. He’s the Stevens’ neighbor and constantly breaks into the house and eats bacon. He’s a mix Urkel, Kimmy Gibbler, Stewie Griffin and Kramer. That sounds almost fun, but take the annoying things about each character and create a small, ugly child. That was we had here with Beans. He would hang around Louis (because he wasn’t already wacky enough) and ruin everything. He was kind of like Jerry the mouse in that way. He was Cousin Oliver bad. He was He was Scrappy Doo bad. He made that freaky spring monster on “The Jetsons” look like a good idea. Need I go on?
This show also featured a weird principal who was probably doing inappropriate things with Ren. A funny stereotypical coach character and the normal idolized teen boy character. There was also Larry Beal who was Ren’s worst enemy. It was fun seeing an intelligent black boy be her rival compared to just another “Mean Girls” situation. The Daytime Emmy that Shia LeBouf won for this performance should be more than enough convincing to watch if I didn’t do a good job of convincing
