I would like to start off my 1 year anniversary by thanking the people of F.A.N. for your mild to tepid interest in my ridiculous thoughts on television shows. I greatly appreciate it. For those that wish I’d do something other than comedy; sorry, you’ll have to wait at least another week. I’ve had a lot of good times, like the time Josh Server and Katrina Johnson tweeted my “All That” review, when Madison finally stopped yelling at me for not laying things out how he liked, and I love the fact that “Step by Step” out of nowhere is my most popular and shared review. I don’t understand it but I’ll take. Now we get on to business.
Congrats Dave, now let's talk about me.
I have reviewed a lot of popular shows: “The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret”, “Halfway Home”, “3 South”, and “H8R.” Quite frankly, I’m tired of talking about such staggering, phenomenal programs. So this week I’ve decided to go a little underground and review “Seinfeld.”
Since I’m sure not many of you have heard of this show, let me explain the plot. Apparently, this show has no plot. It’s a show about nothing. Despite that, it is extremely quotable and memorable. This stand-up comedian named Jerry Seinfeld lives in New York. He goes out and performs in clubs and with Jay Leno. When he’s not on the road though, he spends his time with three very close friends. One is his hipster dufus neighbor. The other is his lifelong friend who I’m pretty sure is an adult Charlie Brown. Another is an old girlfriend that apparently just never got the hint. This motley crew band together to take on the world and throughout multiple job changes, failed bread capers, death and masturbation contests, they manage to succeed. That is until they get thrown in jail for watching John Pinette be fat and not funny.
NO FREEDOM FOR YOU!
Now if I can drop my shtick, this show is gigantic. “Obviously” says everyone reading this. I mean, they made 180 episodes pretty much all of them are regarded as amazing. From 1994 to 1998 it was a ratings juggernaut, only bending to “E.R.” TV Guide declared it the best television show of all time. The “E!” network also stated that “Seinfeld” was the best thing about the 1990s. Heck, “Dharma and Greg” has an episode where they try to have sex outside during the “Seinfeld” finale because it would be there best chance to have everyone else be inside. Needless to say, it was a big deal.
Even the "Looney Tunes" bow
My personal favorite part of this show is that the main characters are bad people. Jerry is just an uncaring man-child and finds humor in the misfortune of others. The old girlfriend Elaine is normally just mean to people and is so self-obsessed that she sees herself as the down trotted. George the longtime friend is getting his own paragraph later because he’s a whole different animal. The only possible innocent is Kramer, who is just very loyal to his friends and kind of dumb. No one ever learns a lesson and shows like “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” and “Arrested Development” took the model and made more television gold. “Seinfeld” stood out in a sea of family comedies and emotions. Who needs that crap, I want to watch people run over old ladies in fires and or fill up washing machines with concrete.
Or hurting each other.
While Elaine, Jerry and Kramer are all beloved, one man has stood out to become a true icon. That man’s name is George Costanza. George is a loser. He lives with his parents throughout many seasons of the show. He’s in his thirties, short, bald, fat, dimwitted, and self-loathing. He is cheap, selfish, insecure, neurotic, and dishonest. Those are some of his better qualities too. Despite all of this, he seems to date a ton of gorgeous women. He also was engaged to a really nice lady too, until his cheapness killed her in a delightfully comical way. He worked for the New York Yankees for a long time and a ton of other places. He was unceremoniously fired from all of these positions. I’m going to let you people reminisce about all the terrible things he’s done, but it may not be his fault. Have you seen his parents?
If you have, applaud them for making this.
I think the best thing about “Seinfeld” is the massive amount of iconic side characters. This show was based around four people that give us no reason to root for them, yet we do. They introduce us to friends, enemies, and just random people they meet, and for some reason America cared so much about all of it. I find the show hilarious, and I think these side characters are a big reason why. They keep this show about nothing fresh.
See? Tremendous entertainment.
I know a lot of people love Newman. I love this fat, evil postal worker too. He’s Kramer’s friend despite being an intense rival of Jerry’s. Kramer has shown that he will choose Jerry over the crazy mail carrier though when he threw Newman out of his own moving truck. Newman though may be the only person more soulless than Jerry, which is why I think they clash. I mark out every time I hear, “Hello, Newman.” He really burns up the screen when he’s on.
I already mentioned that George’s parents were crazy, but I must elaborate. His father Frank has a temper that makes The Incredible Hulk seem level headed. Since he invented Festivus, we’ll forgive him. His wife Estelle is fairly innocent, but her husband has made her very temperamental over the years. She is also a very humorless woman. They have made George the wonderful man he is, the wonderful human that was going to marry Susan Ross. She was at one point dabbling in lesbianism and was a big shot at NBC. She for whatever reason loved George and was trying to make him a good man. Sadly, she had a creepy doll and died from licking toxic envelopes.
Jerry’s parents are Morty and Helen. They have their own little quirks which make sense considering their son is a clean freak. They aren’t that weird in comparison to all of the other characters. They are just your typical meddlesome parents.
Their bosses are even interesting. George Steinbrenner is Costanza’s boss at the Yankees. He’s loud and ranting. George would never steal from the Yankees.
The man in the cape is actually their greatest boss
J. Peterman is a world traveling playboy that is very eccentric. He seems to be interested in Elaine, but his eccentricities seem to bog him down. He briefly goes insane and leaves his company to Elaine, but returns to oust her. He is good at reading people and loves his mother. He can easily tell that George is a liar and wants to know what Bosco is. Delicious is the answer.
We’ve got Mr. Lippman, Mr. Pitt, Mr. Wilhelm, Russell, and my personal favorite Mr. Kruger. Why is he my favorite? Because he’s the only member of the cast that went my high school and I’ve talked to.
OH MY GOD!
I have to wrap up here because I don’t think I should do two parters and this is way longer than most reviews already. I haven’t even scratched the surface of all the things I love about this show. I mean we still have Uncle Leo, Lloyd Braun, Maestro, Jackie Chiles, Mickey, Crazy Joe, Kenny Bania, Jack Klompus, Tim Whatley, The Bubble Boy, Babu, Poppie, the Drake, all the friends Kramer had that were never seen and of course Izzy Mandelbaum.
In lieu of talking about all the fantastic stories and development, I’ll just talk about the finale. I’m trying not to ramble on too long, but it’s hard not to when tackling such a massive hit. Many people were disappointed with the last episode. I personally only was because that meant it was ending. Somehow I still haven’t watched the reunion that happens in “Curb Your Enthusiasm.” The four friends watch as a man gets mugged and get arrested for being bystanders. Ridiculous reason, but you can’t have them kill people. So they go to jail, and all the past rivals catch wind of this and start airing grievances. I think that’s a clever way to bring old characters back without copping out and just running highlights (which they also did). They then send the four to jail for one year. It’s not brilliant, but it’s different. That’s what this show was all about.
What did I say about different?
What can I say more that you don’t know? This show is probably the most popular show of ever. It’s definitely the most popular sitcom of all time. There are so many memorable things about it, I mainly talked about the characters and I’m well past 1000 words. My little opening didn’t help, but you know, it’s my milestone! I would say I miss this show, but I don’t. It’s on every single day. It, much like “The Andy Griffith Show” will forever have replay value to me. I’m sure many of you feel the same way.
YEAH! Gotta support the show!
Credit goes to: Youtube.com, wikipedia.org, mindpuck.ca, seinfeld.tumblr.com, 100thingsnyc.com, funnyordie.com, and fanpop.com.