This month I’ve been dedicating time to a big part of my childhood. Nicktoons were introduced in 1991 when I was 2 years old, so they entertained me throughout my childhood. I did a lot as a child, but I’m staggered at the amount of television I must have watched. I remember so many of these old shows and their specific scenes. I got to digging up the numbers and tried pick one of the Nicktoons that had a long life. I was shocked to find that not a lot of them had very much time on the air. Other than the insane 334 episodes of “SpongeBob Squarepants,” only 4 other shows have over 100 episodes. This week, as you’ve seen on the main page, “Rocko’s Modern Life” is the cartoon of choice. I only bring up episode number because this program only had 53 produced. Maybe I’m just remembering wrong, but I thought there were a lot more. I was happy to find that many of the staffers went on to work on the huge hit about a sponge, so good for them.
I enjoyed reruns of this show after its original run ended in 1996, because I was not allowed to watch it before then. Luckily by the time it was over, I was old enough to know how to be sneaky and watch this “rude” show. If I had been a little smarter, I should have showed my parents “Ren and Stimpy” then I probably could have watched anything else I wanted. Looking back at the show now, you can see a lot of the same building blocks that were later used for SpongeBob, mainly this gentleman:
Mr. Heffer Wolfe is the original Patrick Star. He is fat, loud, oblivious, and as dumb as a rock. Of all the similarities, this is the most obvious. Unlike Patrick who has morphed into some kind of awful sociopath, Heffer was just a loyal friend. Patrick in the early seasons was very similar, but like everything in Bikini Bottom, he morphed into some horrible version of his incarnation. Early SpongeBob was like Rocko as well. He was lacking in confidence and very dedicated to his pet and enjoyed his job. Now, he is insane and torturing his neighbor. All Rocko ever did was accidently see his neighbor’s wife naked; he never did his best to absolutely ruin his life. Ed Bighead would take pity on Squidward. Gary is the only one who is a step up from the idiot that Spunky was.
One character that I can’t seem to find a similar version of now is Filburt Turtle. For whatever reason they didn’t bring a neurotic geomorphic turtle under the sea. A squirrel makes more sense anyway. Filburt was my favorite character growing up, and he still is. I’m about as timid as Rocko, so it’s good to see that I could have a friend that makes me look really great. Filburt also overcame the hatred that cats and turtles have had for centuries and married a beautiful feline:
Filburt also had a great bunch of catchphrases. “Oh fish sticks!”, “I’m nauseous… I’m nauseous…”, and of course:
No, not that. It was, “Turn the page, wash your hands. Turn the page, wash your hands. And then you turn the page, and then you wash your hands…”
There are almost too many fantastic characters to talk about here. I’m sure some people wouldn’t mind if I ramble for 4,000 words about this show, but in the interest for those other less dedicated fans, I’ll try to keep this brief. I would be remiss though if I didn’t talk about the weird sexual games and uncomfortable actions that take place in the Bighead household.
Ed Bighead is just a sad toad. He yells, destroys things and worst of all is a middle manager at a big corporation. The only person that can control him is his twisted wife. He “hates his life” and seems to deserve it. He hates Rocko a lot considering how little Rocko does to gain that ire. So Spunky eats salmon off his trees? We’ve all had that happen before. Ed even hates his son until he finds out the latter makes a ton of money. How does such an awful mine find a wife? Especially one that is so attractive?
What’s with all the misleading pictures? That’s not her. Ed’s wife looks like him but with girl stuff. She’s also very loud, rude and bossy. Unlike Ed, she has the ability to love and care. She also loves to party. She at one point even tries to seduce Rocko, but that’s probably a result of hearing his beautiful voice on a phone sex line.
"Oh baby. Oh baby. Oh baby."
Aside from all of these great characters, there were a ton of adult jokes thrown in. If you haven’t watched this show at all since you were a kid, watch some now. I’ll never forget when I heard the restaurant was called “Chokey’s Chicken” for the first time and knew what that meant. If that’s not enough, try this on for size:
Credit goes to: Tumblr.com, youtube.com, wikipedia.org, nick.com and giantbomb.com