I’m not delusional. I know that in the grand scheme of things, women in the wrestling business are fairly low on the totem pole. Long before Kelly Kelly, long before Sable, ladies in wrasslin were still either eye-candy, a match for an extended intermission, or both. Even today, in independent wrestling, ladies still don’t have nearly as much prominence as they may deserve. Will that change? Who knows. The wrestling business isn’t exactly known for being forward-thinking and progressive, and in 2012, I can’t help but believe that women that train to get involved in this genre are fully aware of what they’re getting into. Less pay, less opportunities to perform, and an audience that will generally look at you as a novelty at best and a feminist plot to destroy ‘Murrica at worst. Also, the creepers.
Still, there is one question that I’ve been racking my brain with one question. One question about one particular woman in independent wrestling that stands out for me. One question that I have not been able to find an answer for.
Why hasn’t Cheerleader Melissa been signed yet?
Cheerleader Melissa. The San Francisco native best known for throwing her opponents into guardrails and being mistaken for Raisha Saeed (those Daniels/Curry Man conspiracy theorists at it again…) Whether you’re familiar with woman’s wrestling or not, you more than likely recognize her name amongst the Sara Del Reys and Ayako Hamadas of the world. She’s been a champion in Dave Prazak’s SHIMMER promotion, and has done all of the things any major independent wrestling star (male or female) has done. The question of why Melissa isn’t on weekly wrestling television is one I want to examine.
In recent history, Melissa had a all-too-brief stint in Total Nonstop Action Impact Wrestling Matters When Crossing The Line’s Adrenaline Rush as Alissa Flash, the Future Legend, aptly named thanks to the Cauliflower Alley Club. She had a zipper. And that was about it. Along with TNA, Melissa competed in Ring Ka King, TNA’s Indian promotional experiment, finally silencing those that said she was Awesome Kharma Kong’s associate Raisha Saeed, competing in a one on one match against her. So, I pose this question. Is there an issue with her working for another national company? Do the folks in Stamford see her as unworthy due to having the foul stench of Thursday Nights on her person? After the failed experiments known as Marcus Cor Von and Braden Walker, the idea that WWE may not want to sign someone from TNA may not be totally invalid. While we’re at it, I wish Matt Morgan and Alex Shelley the best of luck in their future endeavors. Furthermore, while Melissa has gone unnoticed, it’s not as if WWE isn’t ignoring the indies when it comes to ladies.
Mickie James, Katie Lea, all the way to now with AJ Lee. WWE’s change in philosophy towards the indies in recent times has applied to women as well, as they have acquired a number of women from various spots in the world of wrestling, including the UK. The idea that WWE just looks for models that they can train to to have matches where they do just enough to make sure they don’t get hurt so photo shoots don’t get ruined is…almost gone. Cheerleader Melissa is a veteran of the wrestling business for over a decade. She has been performing for as long as the likes of CM Punk and Daniel Bryan. She has the name recognition within woman’s wrestling that is on par with CM Punk and Daniel Bryan. Her body of work in SHIMMER and elsewhere stands up with any of her contemporaries. And, it is in the opinion of this Internet Wrestling Dweeb who you probably think lives in his mom’s basement that Cheerleader Melissa isn’t exactly rough on the eyes. Just to be a bit chauvinistic for a second, many an internet wrestling forum has seen more than enough photo shoots of Melissa (and her abs) to generally agree that her appearance would not be an issue for her, either.
I’ve written this not as a rhetorical question, but a very honest and sincere one. I’d like to know what is stopping World Wrestling Entertainment from bringing arguably the most talented woman in wrestling into their fold. At one time, they were aware of her existence. So much so, she had a match on Sunday Night Heat in 2007.
Of course, this was in 2007. Melissa is 5 years older, but 5 years better in all aspects that I can decipher. For all of the recognizable names in wrestling (Sara Del Rey, Portia Perez, even my personal favorite Madison Eagles), I can see Melissa getting signed before all of them, simply because I believe she is the best all-around.
So, why hasn’t Cheerleader Melissa been signed? Seriously.