CHIKARA Preview-A-Go-Go: I’ll Be A Mummy’s Uncle

Ahoy, welcome back to the CHIKARA Preview-A-Go-Go. After a month long absence (which saw 3.0 become the Campeontos de Perajas while I was gone), I’m back to give you a preview of the upcoming show in Rahway, NJ, known as “I’ll Be A Mummy’s Uncle”.

All-Out 8-Man Warfare

Reason: The battle between GEKIDO and CHIKARA continue in this 8-man main event war.

Bigger Reason: For the past couple of months now, CHIKARA has seemingly been taken over by a group of unknown individuals who call themselves, GEKIDO. The name meaning “Wrath” in Japanese language. Consisting of members, 17, AssailANT, CombatANT, DeviANT and The Shard, they took advantage of members of the CHIKARA roster back at February’s shows and have not let up since. Now it’s time for Grand Champion, Eddie Kingston and the Colony to take the fight back. Last month in Ontario, it got even crazier as AssailANT ripped off Green Ant’s mask and stole it. There’s revenge here, and the War King and the Ants (which sounds like an awesome band name) are taking it back. We would like to think. But for now, GEKIDO is running on a roll and will do anything to get a victory. ANYTHING. Which is why they win here to keep the train rolling.

Winners: GEKIDO

On A Collision Course

Reason: Del Rey’s battles against the Batiri continue. This time…IT’S PERSONAL!

Bigger Reason: It seems that Ms. Del Rey has a few gnats flying across her head at the moment, and their names are Kodama, Obaryion, and Kobald. This feud started last month when Kobald was scheduled to go up against the Queen of Wrestling. But things escalated out of control, on behalf of the Batiri, who took their battle to the social media behemoths known as Facebook and Twitter. Mostly making fat jokes and hassling Del Rey. Enough to make a woman scorn, right? Wrong, actually. Kobald would get the biggest win of his young career against Del Rey in Vaughan, Ontario. Sure, it was by a distraction, but it seems like they got the better of her. Will Del Rey’s woes against the Batiri continue, or will the Queen of Wrestling show the world that a bully is nothing more than just that? I can see Del Rey getting a one-up after the Batiri try to outsmart her again. So going with the Queen.

Winner: Sara Del Rey

The Trial of Akuma Must Continue

Reason: The Trial Series continues with Akuma taking on somebody who has been a thorn in his side.

Bigger Reason: Trying to avoid the return Gran Akuma, and making him prove his worth to CHIKARA again, Icarus has asked and was granted the idea of Akuma going through a “Trial Series” of matches, after his return in November. Akuma’s first match, against Chuck Taylor went off without a hitch with Akuma getting the win against the Kentucky Gentleman. Now comes the second test, in which Akuma has to go one-on-one with the Handicapped Hero known as Gregory Iron. Both Iron and Akuma have a little beef at the moment, with Akuma accidentally kicking Iron, and Iron extracting revenge at the Season 11 premiere. Now things are going to come to ahead here. What I think is going to happen is simple. Akuma wins to keep the train rolling.

Winner: Gran Akuma

The Inevitable Confrontation

Reason: It’s the Nerds vs. the Jocks in a future Match of the Year Candidate.

Bigger Reason: Okay, maybe it’s not a MOTYC like I said, but anybody who is a fan of CHIKARA has kind of been wanting this since the debut of Mr. Touchdown back in January. Just look at the picture. It’s the famous QB against the nerdy band leader. It’s like most people’s high school fantasies come to life. But one has to wonder what the wild card in this match; Veronica must think or feel like as this match draws near. Will we see the newest member of the Throwbacks or will Veronica side with the person she’s been all along? My money has it that this is not far from the last time we’ll see these two in the ring, as Veronica turns on Archie and begins Archie’s tecnico turn.

Winner: Mr. Touchdown

Evil Is As Evil Does

Reason: Evil vs. Evil

Bigger Reason: Both UMB and Ophidian have tasted the dark side of the force, with UMB currently on hiatus from his dark rituals (or so we think) and Ophidian taking a turn for the worse with his rudo turn against Amasis at High Noon. Now, both evil doers collide. As CHIKARA puts it, “Evil is AS evil does!” Recently, Ophidian has smelled the ways of not believing in the Dark Lord of the Neo-Solar Temple, even going as far as spitting his infamous venom into the face of UMB at their “It’s How You Play the Game” show last month. Apparently snake style doesn’t see fit with the cult vibe. Expect chicanery and shenanigans abound as both men look to out-evil each other. Perhaps another Delirious run-in? It’s what I expect as the Delirious/UMB feud continues to boil over.

Winner: Ophidian

Singles Action!

Reason: Why not?

Bigger Reason: There’s actually really no reason why these two are doing battle with one another, just simply as a singles contest between the two. Perhaps a look at the Grand Championship picture is in the cards with a win, but with what Kingston has to go through in the future, it’s looking a bit bleak. But hey, at least Jigsaw and Tim Donst are aware of each other’s company. We know about the history between the BDK and Mike Quackenbush/Jigsaw, so there’s no love lost here. As far as the match goes, it should be a hard-hitting affair, but Tim Donst is also on a roll right now, so I’m going with the Donster on this one.

Winner: Tim Donst

Points In Play

Reason: Points in play.

Bigger Reason: Sorry if I keep this as short, but…there’s really no chance for anybody NOT named Chuck Taylor and Johnny Gargano. Perhaps Los Maximos gets a point during the match since they’ve had more experience in CHIKARA, but this just looks like a test for F.I.S.T. to get a title rematch against 3.0 in the future. Maybe I’m wrong, maybe I’m not.

Winners: F.I.S.T.

First Time Ever!

Reason: The Batiri vs. Women feud continues.

Bigger Reason: The Baitri. For some reason, they don’t enjoy the company of women, case and point with the match between Sara Del Rey and Kodama later on in this show, but here’s a match between two young people looking to break the roof off the current glass ceiling that beholds them so they can get to the next floor. But poor Saturyne. Her 2^nd match and it’s against the gross Kobald, who hasn’t been that silent when talking about Del Rey. Will this spunky female take no prisoners against the Batiri’s mascot? Probably not. But she’ll try, won’t she?

Winner: Kobald

A CHIKARA Original Returns!

Reason: A CHIKARA Original returns!

Bigger Reason: This is one of those “Only in CHIKARA” moments, as the long-standing Dragonfly makes his CHIKARA return for the first time since Scornucopia in November of 2010, during the “First Class” 8-man tag match. His opponent though is the brash and disrespectful (RESPECT! Where did that come from?) Jakob Hammerheir who has screamed and talked his way through the ranks. Who will get the upper hand? And maybe, just maybe…could even Dragonfly be somebody else in disguise? It worked for Icarus with Darkness Crabtree? Maybe it’ll happen here. Who knows?

Winner: “Dragonfly”