A huge announcement was recently made that WWE Studios would be rebooting the “Leprechaun” franchise. By huge, I mean it barely made a dent on the film industry. The people that did hear of this were surprised, as was I. I was surprised because I have another reason to believe WWE follows this site. Why do I think this? It’s conveniently announced that WWE is rebooting the “Leprechaun” franchise shortly after my Movienalia of “Leprechaun in the Hood” is posted. Coincidence? Probably. But, I like to believe I had some role in this.
What has everybody buzzing is if they’ll recast Warwick Davis, who has been vocal about another one being made. Many believe he’ll be shafted for Hornswoggle. That makes sense and was my first thought. I still believe that will be the case. However, I do have a plot idea for WWE Studios. Since I already established my belief that they read this site, I’m going to go ahead and post it.
For starters, Warwick Davis reprises his role as the Leprechaun. No matter what you think of the series, you’ll most likely admit he at least did his best with the material. He’s a good actor who knows he’s playing a campy character and does it well. If he wants to play the role again, let him. Hornswoggle can still be in the movie.
Hornswoggle can play his estranged brother. We find out that the Leprechaun was the black sheep of the family, while Hornswoggle was the golden goose. Angry at his family, Lep ran away with his pot of gold and became a murderer. Hornswoggle became a huge star in the WWE.
One night while traveling to their next gig, Hornswoggle’s co-workers, Curt Hawkins and Tyler Reks, come across a pot of gold in the countryside. Next to it is a statue of the Leprechaun with a medallion around his chest. The two men grab the pot of gold and snatch the medallion. This awakens Lep, who quickly murders them and takes back his gold. He notices in Hawkins’ pocket a photo of him and Hornswoggle.
Wanting to track down his brother and get his revenge, he follows Hawkins’ GPS to the next WWE event. When he arrives, he spots Heath Slater and Tyson Kidd having a smoke outside of the arena. He walks up to them, dispenses the line “Smoking kills” and uses his magic to blow both cigarettes up, murdering them.
He sneaks into the building and eventually finds his brother, Hornswoggle. The two have a verbal argument, which is basically Lep making nonsensical rhymes and Hornswoggle mumbling. Meanwhile, JTG notices Lep’s pot of gold lying in the bathroom (let’s just say he snuck it in through his ass and shit it out) and takes it. All the while, he’s singing his theme song.
Leprechaun senses his pot of gold was stolen and rushes to find the culprit. He finds pieces on the ground, which lead him to JTG’s dressing room. He walks in dressed as a thug and makes a rhyme about how he thought he had left the hood. He then kills JTG by choking him with his bling.
He retrieves the gold coin and his pot, but notices a few are still missing. He hears Maxine and Kaitlyn walk by, bragging about the gold JTG gave them. He follows them in the hall and into the ladies dressing room. He watches as they get dressed and makes a perverted rhyme. He then impersonates a Diva and enters the room. They all mistake him for Vickie Guerrero. They all leave except for Maxine and Kaitlyn. Lep makes another rhyme, then kills them by using a blow dryer as a flamethrower.
He retrieves the gold coins, but notices more are missing. As he goes to hunt down the rest, Hornswoggle bumps into Derrick Bateman. He tries to explain the situation, but can’t speak. He does charades for Derrick Bateman, who finally figures it out. Just as he’s about to warn somebody, Lep finds them and kills Derrick by ripping his hair off and shoving it down his throat, choking him. He also makes another rhyme, this time about a bad hair day.
He starts chasing Hornswoggle throughout the backstage area. They run through catering, where they see Johnny Curtis flipping a gold coin. Lep slices him with his claws, then drowns him in the punch bowl. He makes another rhyme, this time about the punch bowl being spiked.
At last, he has retrieved all of his gold. He attempts to finish what he started, so he chases Hornswoggle out into the arena. They’re still setting everything up. Trying to intimidate his brother, Lep sets off the fireworks display, killing many of the workers. Sheamus and Triple H are all in the ring, rehearsing something for later. They take notice of the accident and are joined by a frightened Hornswoggle.
Lep makes his way to the ring and makes a rhyme about being surrounded by giants. He walks into the ring and goes to kill Triple H. Hunter blocks his attack and pedigrees him. Hornswoggle grabs the medallion from the pot of gold (which was left right outside the ring) and places it on Lep’s prone body. He thus turns back into a statue.
Vince McMahon comes out to see what all the commotion was. Hornswoggle whispers into Sheamus’ ear, who tells Vince everything. The chairman finds the whole thing preposterous and tells Triple H to make sure the writers turn it into a storyline immediately. A cop enters the ring and informs Vince that Bateman, Maxine, Kaitlyn, Slater, Kidd, Curtis and JTG have all been found dead. Vince responds by asking, “Who?”
As everybody leaves the arena and begins to clean up, Santino Marella walks by. He notices a gold coin that had been left behind in the ring. He picks it up and makes a joke. He flips the coin, with the movie freezing on the image of the coin in the air, ending the movie.
There you go, WWE. I gave you a full plot for a “Leprechaun” movie. All you have to do is write a script and send me my royalty check. If you need me to help you with any of the sequels, I’ll be glad to help. Now, please don’t read my “Tooth Fairy 2” Movienalia and get the idea to have Larry the Cable Guy guest host an episode of Raw.
