Welcome to another edition of Playing With Power. The review article that looks at all things Nintendo Entertainment System. It’s funny. It’s taken me 22 articles so far, and just now I’m finally tackling one of the most infamously hated video game companies of all time. The legendary rainbow of doom known as LJN. To be fair though, LJN has been the target of almost every retro video game reviewer be they angry or irate. And most of the library has been tackled to death, so it’s kind of hard to mention one that hasn’t had the spotlight put on it. But I have one that has surprisingly been touched by so few reviewers. It’s also a game I actually regret owning as a kid. Yes, even I sadly fell for LJN’s trap. And that game I refer to is none other than Bill and Ted’s Excellent Video Game Adventure.
YEAR OF RELEASE: 1991
PUBLISHER: LJN
GENRE: Isometric Action/RPG
Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure was a surprise comedy hit from 1989. The film was about two metalhead slackers named Bill S. Preston Esquire and Ted “Theodore” Logan. When the two are faced with the possibility of failing history class, the two manage to assemble some of the history’s greatest people thanks to a time travelling phone booth from the future. The movie’s success was enough to spawn everything from a sequel (Which I personally enjoy much more), a Saturday morning cartoon, a live action series, even a cereal (Though this was in the days when even Urkel-O’s existed).
Naturally, a video game seemed like an obvious next step. Well, that was what happened, and sadly LJN had their grimy hands on the license. And as history had dictated, LJN were notorious for poor handling of franchises when it came to video game adaptations. They would release both an NES and Game Boy game, both massively different from the other. The NES game was released in 1991 under the name “Bill and Ted’s Excellent Video Game Adventure”. But was this game really deserving of being called Excellent?
COVER STORY
Can’t really say much on the cover, because just like most LJN games, they just slapped the movie poster on the front of the box and cartridge. While it’s definitely a lazy approach, honestly, it is a smart decision. People who are familiar with the movie poster, or had the VHS box would easily recognize what it’s supposed to be, leading to an easy sell. Sadly that works far more than a well done game cover. But since I myself am fine with it, since I’ve always liked this poster.
STORY
Some of the greatest historical figures have ended up stranded in other time periods, and only Bill and Ted can save them. It’s up to them to ride through the circuits of time to places like the medieval, wild west, and colonial eras to find the missing historical dudes, and set things right. Can the Wyld Stallyns get the job done, or this truly a most heinous task?
GAMEPLAY
Bill and Ted’s Excellent Video Game Adventure is a one player game. You play as both Bill and Ted, who go to different time periods to rescue the different historical dudes who have been stranded in the wrong times. The D-Pad controls your character, the B button will fire your items, and the A button jumps. The Start button will take you to your in game menu, where you can select your weapons that you can use in the game.
In order to set right this most bogus of wrongs, you first have to flip through the phone book for the historical dude with a red phone number underneath. Pressing select will take you to the dial pad where you must dial the correct number. Once that is done, you enter the circuits of time. This is the first area of the game, and one of the first real annoyances. The general gimmick is that you have to move the phone booth all the way to the end of the time circuit. You can let the booth go on its own, but moving to each number costs you a coin, and if you run out of coins it’s game over. So you have another method to try.
Pressing A will shoot the phone booth out of the circle it’s currently in, you can then try to catch it with the red circle you control with the D-Pad. Once caught, try to navigate the spinning booth to the end of the circuit. This takes good timing in order to ensure you will get the booth to the end of the circuit. You will also have skull circles to deal with that can take coins from you and shoot the booth in random directions, as well as fake exits and multiple paths. This “mini-game” of sorts is just more tedium than fun, and already sets in motion the many problems that plague this game.
If that annoyance and tedium hasn’t caused you to already turn the game off, then welcome to the real game. As either Bill or Ted (you can’t choose which to be, it’s set for certain levels) you’ll end up in one of the very few time periods in the game. In these levels are where you will seek out the missing historical figure. But of course, just finding the historical figure would be way too easy. Before you even start with that, you have to find a bait item that will coax the historical figure to come back with you. For example, Julius Caesar will surely only come back to his own time if you give him salad dressing, so seek that out first before seeking out Caesar.
Each level has four baits you can find, with only one of them being the correct item. These items are hidden throughout the level, but will always be in the same spots every time, so if you actually learn the lay of the land, or read a faq like me (this game’s annoyances drove me to it), you can manage to accomplish this task far easier.
So, with that said, how do you find these items you may be wondering? Well, instead of them just being in treasure chests, or in plain sight, they are hidden on rocks or fences, and the only way to get them is to make a leap of faith, and crash butt first into a rock or fence that is hiding the items. That really says a lot about this game. Other games have their heroes open break blocks or seek them out in far more respectable ways. This game has your heroes smack into rocks and fence posts like a pair of buffoons. This almost speaks volumes about LJN themselves, doesn’t it? A plus with the items always being in the same area helps after dealing with the frustration of spending so much time jumping from rock to rock, or fence to fence.
This game is referenced as an RPG, but really the only RPG-esque element is that you have to talk with certain people. There are two types of NPC characters in the game. The ones who stand still are the ones you can talk to. They usually give you items, or hints as to where to find items or the historical figure. However, don’t bother talking to them again, as they will almost always take a coin from you for bumping into them.
The other NPC of the game, the ones that are moving are the enemies of the game known as Crazed Jailer Dudes. If they spot you, they will chase after you, and if you get caught, you’re sent to jail. You can escape jail thankfully with the use of a skeleton key. But you only have a handful of them at the beginning of each level. And if you run out of them, it’s game over. The game has no continues, but does have a password system. But we’ll get to why that’s a problem shortly.
You do have methods to deal with the jailers with the four items in the game. Pudding cups act as bait that will lure the jailer to another direction, leading to a quick escape. Firecrackers will kill a jailer instantly if hit, but can be tricky to aim just right. Cassette tapes will cause all NPCs on screen to start dancing, leading to another quick escape attempt. However, once the music stops, they will all turn into jailers. And the best weapon of the bunch, the highly dangerous textbooks, will destroy all enemies on screen, so clearly they are the most important to hold on to.
You can earn more items two ways, first, just like finding the bait items for the historical figures, you have to jump on random rocks and fences to hope for the best. Another way is through the horse and canoe interludes in certain levels. You will ride either a horse or canoe, will trying to dodge hazards like rocks or fences. Make it to the end, and you can get more items some times.
You can only move on the dirt road portions of the levels, and certain spots where you’ll see doors you can walk in to talk with other people (even your future self). But anywhere that isn’t a clear road (AKA the areas where the item fences and rocks are), you won’t be able to. When you land on these areas, the only way to move is to jump, which really seems kind of silly when you think about it. A plus to this annoying function is that it can be a good way to dodge jailers, who will never touch you while you’re in these areas.
The controls are pretty bogus. The isometric game play makes moving an annoyance at times. The D-Pad feels weird and inverted, with left moving up, up moving right, etc. It can be very annoying to get the hang of at times, and in a game where getting the hag of the controls ASAP is a necessity to survival, this is not good. Trying to aim your bait at times can be a pain in the behind as well.
But if there is one damning thing to this game’s poor controls, it’s the jumping. Nothing kills a game more for me than bad jumping. The jump you do depends on how well your momentum is, and how long you hold in the D-Pad. If you hold it in for long, you will do a massive almost moon-like jump. hold it in for a very short period, and you’ll have a very weak hop. Trust me, this will likely lead to the biggest frustration and even end up getting you caught by jailers very easily.
In later levels of the game you will have to find more than one historical figure, and go through several time periods before you can complete the stage. You’ll know you’ve completed a stage of the game when you get a cut scene of the Wyld Stallyns performing. Then it’s back to doing more of the same tedium, only with more periods to travel, more jailers to deal with, and more annoyances.
First off, you do have passwords as mentioned before. But they will take you to the start of the level, meaning even if you rescued one or two figures before, you have to start all the way back at the beginning again. Another issue is your items will start to deplete really quick, making them invaluable by the end, and really causing a headache when you’re cornered by two or three jailers, and you’re out of ammo.
Also, another nitpick I have, but one that does seem a bit justified is that when you complete a time period with several of the baits you didn’t use, you don’t sadly get to keep them for the next time period, they all disappear. Meaning that even if you had the bait to lure the historical dude, you have to go find it ALL OVER AGAIN! It’s like Bill and Ted thought they wouldn’t have no use for these items any time soon, and just left them there to find all over again. It just seems like really annoying padding to make an already frustrating game even more so.
GRAPHICS
The graphics are pretty bland to be honest. All the characters are faceless drones, and the colors are all really yucky greens, browns, greys, and yellows, none at all pleasing to the eye. Nothing in the actual game stands out as good looking or well designed. The only thing I do think are okay are the caricatures of Bill, Ted, and Rufus, which all look like their movie counterparts.
MUSIC
Now here is one of my biggest gripes with this game. Oh, there is music, and the music we do get is okay at best. But all the music will only last for 30 seconds at the most. Then all you’re left with is dead silence. For a game based on Bill and Ted, which in itself has had a focus on music, to have a game with so little music seems really stupid. That, and nothing that sounds like heavy metal? Bogus.
Music can help make a bad game at least somewhat bearable, and even some bad LJN games had their share of okay chiptunes. When you’re surrounded by silence, it really helps accentuate the issues with the game even more. Not to mention this is a game from 1991, which was still the renaissance of the NES. To have a game with no music like this is just unacceptable, and it makes for one of the worst things about this game.
OVERALL THOUGHTS
When I was a kid, I once went to Zellers (I believe), and had the chance to buy some NES games. This was back when NES games were almost a hundred bucks at the time, making these situations a rarity. And of all the games I could have bought, I bought three. Super Mario 2, which I enjoyed, Back to the Future 2 & 3 (which I don’t currently own thank god, but if I do, I will talk about it), and This piece of crap. And it’s been something I’ve regretted ever since. When I re-bought the game when I became a collector, the memories of just how awful this game is came flowing back to me. This is one of those games I just despise.
The controls are bad, the gameplay is no fun, your goals are annoying, graphics that are bland, and music that is barely existent. For a game based on two movies I personally enjoy (though like I said, Bogus Journey I liked more), this is just deplorable. If not for a couple other games that I have had the “honor” of playing, I would probably say this is the worst video game I have ever played. It’s not, but this comes really, REALLY close.
If you’re a collector, that would be the only reason I could give to pick this up, If not, let this bogus game get lost in time forever.
RATING: Thumbs Down