Written by Michael Coello
Another week, another DVD release review here on the FAN. This time, we go from comedy horror to sci fi action, with this week’s review of “Alien Armageddon”.
Released November 6th, 2011
Well, I guess movies like “Tucker & Dale vs Evil” can’t come out every week. We eventually run into the stereotypical B-movie, direct to DVD movies you find everywhere. Well, let’s get right into it, then.
The Story:
Based on the Nephilim series of movies from director/writer/producer Neil Johnson, dealing with an alien invasion of Earth by a race called the Nephilim that enslave the human population. We follow a woman named Jodie, a scientist named Franci, and an escaped convict known as “Cowboy”, as we see the origins of this invasion and the beginnings of what lead to his previous movies.
The Cast:
- Katharine McEwan as Jodie Elliott (2 L’s, 2 T’s), with some other video credits to her name. Jodie is looking for her daughter who she loses after the alien invasion hits.
- Don Scribner as Cowboy, most known for being Lou in “The Cooler”. Cowboy is a convicted murderer who killed several people, including his own son, and it ties back to the aliens.
- Rochelle Vallese as Franci, having worked with Johnson before in Johnson’s “Humanity’s End” movie. Franci is a scientist working with the aliens to craft a virus to create a new alien/human hybrid.
The Dissection:
Before we go to the movie itself, I guess I should mention the cover. Remind you of anything?
Released the same day, by the way.
Well, the cover lies to people in two different ways. First, anything thinking you’re gonna get something like Cowboys & Aliens, or even like Battle: LA, like the tagline seems to insinuate, are going to be disappointed. The director himself says it was merely coincidence that he originally named the movie “Battleground Los Angeles” and that it was sharing the similar plot to Battle: LA even though he originally came up with the idea years before that movie was produced. Fine, but there’s so many different themes, from Cowboys & Aliens to Terminator 3, among others, and generally feels like an amalgam of different movies and idea stitched together.
Secondly, while the cover seems to hint at the guy on th4e cover being the hero, he’s not actually the real lead. The movie is moved around mostly by the female characters. The hero on the cover, Cowboy, doesn’t do much alien butt kicking, just a few moments of badassery here and there and the rest he’s captured and not doing anything. The movie really revolves around Jodie’s search, the issues with scientist Franci, and even a plot with the female assistant of the Governor of California.They hold the story together and they advance the plot where it needs to go. However, the majority the women in this movie do such stupid things that any kind of “you go, girl” cred is pretty much erased by the end.
I know I make this movie look pretty simple, plot wise, but that is not anywhere close to the truth. You see, while the movie does focus on those 3 people for the majority of the movie, there are an abundance of characters and different details and side plots that are in the movie as well. Besides the story with Jodie looking for her daughter, there’s the issue of the governor of California and his assistant who argue over meeting with rebel forces to break free from alien oppression. There’s also a plot about Franci and another scientist, along with something involving type AB- blood, a reveal of the true purpose of the invasion, Cowboy revealing why he did the murders, and a plot over the relationships between the aliens and humans.
The Governor of California giving control of California to the aliens. On left, alien. On right, alien looking assistant.
You got all that? If you can, please explain it to me.
This movie is a mess. Characters are revealed, do some work and development, and then are tossed aside and not even given an explanation as to what happened to them. Scenes don’t seem to connect with other scenes that were just shown. Plot details and story points are muddled by either bad editing, bad audio, or lack of explanation. One scene, Jodie is crying and yelling for a guy not to leave as the aliens drag him away to die, and the next scene has Jodie not flinch or give a damn as he is screaming in pain and anguish the next room over. Though, it’s hard to tell if she actually can hear him, mostly due to the random noise in the background never being made clear as to where they are coming from. It suffers from some horrible editing when you get down to it.
Acting wise, it’s not bad, I guess. Cowboy is probably the most interesting once they abandon the serial killer thing and explain his motives and he has this Sam Elliott quality. Jodie is hit or miss at times, from going to brave planner to crying mess at various times. The rest of the characters range from standard B-movie to straight bad acting.
Effects wise, a lot of the better CG in this movie is recycled from Johnson’s earlier movies, and the worse CG gets really bad at times. It really ranges from laughably bad to horrendously bad. The worst for me came when I realized that the alien armor was created involving the top of a pet carrier, and I couldn’t stop noticing it. There’s also a lot of green screen backgrounds, not just for aliens, but for also areas with no reason for it. It feels overproduced in these areas.
The alien invaders. See their backpacks? Pet Carriers. Did you think I was kidding?
As for DVD extras and additions, you have some deleted scenes, some that I feel should have be included as they could have made better sense of the plot. Along with that, you have a music video of the song in the credits titled “Spread Your Wings” by Nedy John Cross, as well as the trailer for the movie and a little short of the director explaining the series and his ideas for the movie. It helps to watch those, as you do come out confused from the movie and it adds a bit of story that you missed your first time through. There’s also trailers before the title screen for the publishing company, Phase 4, with movies named Absentia, Brotherhood, Forget Me Not, and Flesh Wounds, with the first 3 looking more interesting and better produced than this was. There’s audio and subtitles seem all but useless, just featuring English language track and subtitles and basic sound engineering.
If I had to say something good about this, it’s that it had potential. There was an interesting story in place and this whole angle over the needs of the many over the needs of the few. The main issue, though, is that it’s all jumbled in a mess of unnecessary charters, plots that go nowhere, and it’s generally a hassle to get through it. It’s 95 minutes only, but it feels padded and overstuffed with needless additions. This even feels like a step down from the director’s previous work. Looking at some of the clips, it looked better than this movie ended up being. At least the alien costumes looked better.
The Verdict:
Watch it only if you are a fan of this series, and even then, it’s probably better to just wait for a release on Syfy or some other channel. I think even a Redbox rental might be too much.
Everyone else is better off just watching anything else, like the actual Cowboys & Aliens or Battle:LA. If you are rally hankering for a movie that does the alien invasion in LA bit, you’re better with the Asylum’s Battle of Los Angeles. At least that one has Kel Mitchell and the Asylum’s trademark insanity.
Overall, Pass.