They're like vampires without the fangs, with a latina chick who has a British Accent.
Welcome to a very late edition of FCW on FAN. A very late edition, thanks to running errands and working 12 hour shifts. The Ascension jump starts the show, and it looks like Conor and Raquel have this loving embrace type thing.
The Ascension vs Mike Dalton, Jason Jordan and Colin Cassidy
Dalton, Jordan and Cassidy get a jobber entrance. That’s twice in a row for Colin. You can hear Raquel, I guess she’s has a mic on her at ringside. Why is she speaking with a British Accent? Matt Marlaro & Byron Saxton are our commentators. Kenneth Cameron and Tito “Epico” Colon go for an Irish Whip on Cassidy, but he stops them both. Raquel gets up on the apron in disgust and distracts Cassidy who was going for a double chokeslam. HARDER HARDER! as Raquel screams while they boot him in the corner. Quick tags in and out, and more boots. Conor does a jumping bump, and shit starts going down. Colon and Cameron pull Dalton and Jordan off the apron, and O’Brian gets in a big boot on Colin Cassidy, getting the win.
Winners: The Ascension
Poor Colin Cassidy. The guy is like, the biggest jobber I’ve ever seen.
FCW 15 Championship
Damien Sandow (c) vs Seth Rollins
A heel, bearded, Bob Backlund. He wears his medal like a medal too.
Norman Smiley and two Japanese wrestlers are in the VIP section as Damien Sandow comes out in a Bob Backlund style robe and towel. He’s actually wearing the medal around his neck, contrary to Seth wearing it around his wrist. Rollins is standing in the entrance way when Antonio Cesaro runs at him from behind. He rams Rollins into the post and some FCW wrestlers go out to help out Rollins. Sandow gets on the mic. He says Seth signed his rematch clause for now. If he doesn’t compete, he will forfeit the match and he will not receive another rematch. Rollins struggles his way to the ring, and the match begins.
Rollins was rammed crotch first into the post by Sandow, and he’s having leg issues. Sandow goes right for the leg looking for a quick submission. Rollins is trying to fight back but he’s still having issues. Shin breaker by Sandow and he’s ripping and tearing at the 14 minute mark. CJ Parker, Donny Marlow, Johnny Curtis and Leakee are outside as they helped out Rollins before. Rollins reverses a shin breaker and gets in a quick pinfall victory.
Sandow back on offense now. Rollins fights back with chops but it’s no go. Sandow continues with the leg submissions on Rollins and Sandow keeps him away from the ropes. He has to break after trying to gain leverage on the ropes. He tries it again and once again has to break. Hash tag, heel. Sandow gets kicked to the outside. Sandow gets on the apron, tries for a shoulder to the gut but misses and he gets some boots from Rollins. Sandow though trips him up, and then starts to wrap his leg around the post. Byron says that it was like Rollins lost his child when he lost that. Bret Hart figure 4 by Sandow on the post and that gets a 4 count on the outside. Rollins tries for a couple of roll ups but gets nothing. Rollins fights back with chops and clotheslines at 5:30. Rollins goes to the top rope on one leg. He pushes himself off with one leg to hit a springboard clothesline. Rollins goes for Avada Kadavra but Sandow moves out of the way and goes for a single leg Boston Crab. Rollins doesn’t want to tap as it would lead to a draw. Rollins pretty much passes out and the ref calls for the bell.
It’s 3:15 left and Rollins is still on the mat. Rollins struggles up and Sandow goes back to work on the leg. Rollins gets an enzugiri and a near fall. Rollins hobbles to the corner but Sandow dropkicks the knee and Rollins’ head bounces off the turnbuckle. Rollins struggles to fight back and drives Sandow’s head into the turnbuckle. At 1:20, Rollins heads to the top rope but Sandow catches him and Sandow stands on his leg while he’s on the rope and goes for punches in the corner. Rollins grabs him for the buckle bomb but his leg gives out. Sandow lands on top of him for a pin, but Rollins reverses that, and then Sandow reverses that for a single leg Boston Crab. Sandow turns him over to bring him back to the center, but Rollins reverses into a small package, and the ref’s hand hits three at 00:00
Winner and NEW FCW 15 Champion at 2-1, Seth Rollins.
Saxton can’t believe his eyes and complains about this situation. Norman Smiley gets a phone call and another referee enters the ring. The match referee goes over to Eden Stiles. She says the clock expired before the last pinfall.
Draw 1-1, STILL FCW 15 Champion, Damien Sandow
Man, that’s like the second time he got away like that. An epic FCW 15 Champion. They go to Briley Pierce, but before he can say much, Antonio Cesaro grabs the mic. He’s sick of these people and those “American social media soft brains” who called Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins the saviours of FCW. Mediocracy (I think he meant Mediocrity) is no longer the standard around here, Antonio Cesaro is. He doesn’t want to be the saviour of FCW, then speaks German. He says once he’s done with Rollins, he’s gone.
American Social Media Soft-brains is now the best new insult.
Caylee Turner & Aksana vs Cameron Lynn & Audrey Marie
When did Caylee Turner turn heel? Does it even matter? A very curious tag team says Byron. They face Cameron Lynn and Audrey Marie, like, wait a minute. Isn’t Cameron a heel? Matt says she’s a little less insane this week. Byron had a talk with her. Did the NAACP get after FCW for that gimmick? Caylee and Cameron trade wristlocks. I’m sure they wouldn’t know those from a pair of wristwatches. Very contrived flip out of a wristlock by Cameron. Tag into Audrey. Audrey is dragged into the opponent’s corner but she hits off Aksana. She runs off the ropes and Aksana trips her. She goes into the ring, no tag. The ref doesn’t seem to care. Broski boot by Aksana. Quick tags in and out, like that matters. Aksana looks dead eyed with this chinlock. Body slam and a no sell by Audrey. Man. Matt Marlaro mentions she was kidnapped by one of the Giants of FCW. Man, no one cares about Eli Cottonwood. Caylee gets a quick tag in, very quick, as while I was typing I missed the whole exchange. Hot tag to Cameron, as she knocks off Caylee and attacks Aksana. Very awful O’Connor roll gets a two count. A tag into the fatigued Audrey Marie, who goes for a monkey flip, but is stopped and Aksana hits the Devo drop. Mercifully it’s over.
O'Connor roll attempt, by slowly walking up to the ropes, then falling backwards for a pin.
Winners: Aksana & Caylee Turner
We go to Briley Pierce who is with Calvin Raines and says there’s talk that Calvin Raines fell off the radar. Calvin is angry at that. Is he a joke now? How can he be a joke with that haircut is what I say! Anyone who knows him knows he could care less what people think of him. They’ll see who’s laughing when they go back with their average families and below average wives and they can say they knew the World Heavyweight Champion, Calvin Raines.
A man whose hair screams, "Take me seriously!"
Florida Heavyweight Championship
Leo Kruger vs Husky Harris vs Richie Steamboat
Steamboat and Harris have had issues, women issues, boy do I know what that’s like. I haven’t had anybody superkick me in the face though. I did get jumped outside a bar in Portugal. Apparently I was looking at this girl, this guy says, “Don’t look at my girlfriend” and I should have responded, “who’s your girlfriend?” Seriously. Anyway, Richie comes out to slower, heelish music and a beard. I wonder if the ability to work as a heel is genetic. Because if it is, Richie’s screwed.
Husky and Steamboat start fighting, and Kruger jumps Husky from behind. Steamboat goes to attack Leo and they get into a Japanese style chop fight. Husky throws Steamboat outside the ring and starts laying it in on Kruger. Husky butt slams Kruger and Steamboat runs back in and attacks Harris. They go back fighting. Back and forth brawling between the two. Harris gets him down in the corner and clotheslines Kruger, who tries to hit Harris from behind again. Husky has pretty good strategy going back and forth, but gets caught up attacking Leo and receives a nice kick to the back of the head. Leo regains the advantage and goes for a pin, but gets a two count. Hard match to call, Steamboat has some vicious chops. Husky dedicates this match to Bo Rotundo as well, who is currently out with an injury. There’s not much of a consistently dominant competitor here, when one guy gains the advantage, he gets attacked. Leo attacks Steamboat but Steamboat fights him off, and starts beating down both guys. Steamboat hangs Leo’s throat on the bottom rope, and again, Harris attacks from behind but Steamboat fights him off and goes for a pin, getting a one count. Kruger breaks up a second pinfall attempt and keeps slamming Steamboat on the mat. He goes for a sleeper but once again, Harris attacks from behind. Harris gets a couple of big avalanches in the corner. Steamboat goes for a superkick on Kruger, but he ducks and hits Harris. Kruger throws Steamboat outside the ring and quickly locks in a rear naked choke, getting a tap out victory.
Winner and STILL Florida Heavyweight Champion, Leo Kruger
Women. What men have been fighting about forever.
Harris and Steamboat start brawling like mad men. They fight outside the ring and referees and talent attempt to break them up, as we head off for another week.