For the past several years, I’ve had a simple tradition; travel to California for one week in spring at hang out with super-starlet and friend Sophie Dee at the Adultcon. This year though, a scheduling conflict arose and Sophie was going to be Phoenix that week. Well, to hell with that! Don’t get me wrong, Adultcon still had a strong selection of talent, including Gianna Michaels who’ve I’ve been angling to meet for years but always end up missing. But without Sophie, a real anchor for me at the convention, the trip to Los Angeles didn’t seem worth it. Most days I’d spend a good chunk of time helping her and her assistant Mike out – taking pictures, shilling for her site, going for coffee – but without her there i’d run out of people to visit very quickly and three days of convention is a lot of time to fill without anything substantial to do.
Then she told me she’d be in Miami.
Sophie almost NEVER comes to visit us here on the east coast. The occasional New York trip once or twice a year maybe, but its rare. Exxxotica was going to be about four hours away, and I decided I had to go.
This was different from my LA trips though. Exxxotica is a big convention; reportedly the biggest on the east coast. And its attendees reflect that. Jesse James, Phoenix Marie, Kristina Rose, Nyomi Banxxx, and Jenna Haze? Fantastic! And the Bang Bus was there. The actual bus. Thats at least as famous as Speed Buggy, and I would kill for an opportunity to see Speed Buggy in person.
So it was decided that I’d go. The first person I invited to go with me was my roomate and porn adventure partner Debbie. Whenever I go to a local event or signing she comes too. I wanted to go down for the weekend, but visiting the con was fairly last minute so I couldn’t reserve any time off of work. Which meant I had one shot: Sunday. We were going to have to pull a long day: drive to Miami in the morning, see the girls, then drive back by Sunday night. Enter Mark, my wheel-man. Not only was he desperate to meet Jenna Haze, but Amia Miley was going to be there too. He was more of a fan of hers pre-boob job, but there was still a whole bunch of her that wasn’t changed he still really wanted to see in person. I agreed to pay for the gas and his ticket – it was still cheaper then if I going to drive my pick-up there – and we were all set for out one day dalliance with debauchery.
I’m going to skip the details of the trip (I have to save something for my road stories article!), but we ended up arriving at the convention center over an hour early. Adultcon being my only convention experience, I expected that was about the time we needed to get there to not be in line forever. We walked up to a completely empty convention center.
I had no idea how to react. Debbie and Mark kept asking why we needed to get here so early when there was no line anywhere. I had no answer. Over the next half hour we saw three other people waiting for the convention. When the buildings doors opened we walked in, got in the official check in line, and weren’t joined by anyone for another fifteen minutes. The lack of fans shocked me, but I was more surprised by the lack of talent. As the opening grew closer they should be pouring in, but I saw only a handful of girls trickle by into their entrance. I wasn’t naive enough to hope that they had just gotten there THAT much earlier, and knew we’d be in for a slow day. Sunday is the worst day to go to conventions if you have the choice, because Saturday is the busiest day and the day the girls make the most money, so talent skipping Sunday isn’t uncommon. Add on that the after parties go all night and as a fan, it can be a troubling mix. I had talked to Sophie on twitter right before we started out drive at 5 am, and she was just getting to bed. Exxxotica opened, and it was a ghost town.
Booths were all up and decorated (typically left up Friday and Saturday nights to save time in the morning), but they were empty. It took several minutes until I saw someone I recognized and was set up, former Florida resident Courtney Cummz. I hadn’t met her before; she had been too a few conventions I had attended, but my only real impression of her was that she got to Adultcon VERY late and had only stayed a brief time the first chance I had to see her. Now here she was the first girl in Exxxotica, and we went to say hello. Funnily enough she told us she had gotten in then because she had started to developed a reputation for not showing up on time and was trying to lose it. I came away very impressed. Since she didn’t have her full set-up pulled put yet, instead of the free 8×10’s she’d soon be giving out we got free fullsized posters. She even tried to make Mark full-sized.
Just 20 feet away, I saw Sophie Dee. She and her husband were getting settled in, as was a gentlemen for the company Sophie was there representing; Evil Angel. My two accomplices were still talking to Courtney and I let them finish, then bounded over to Sophie for a hug. having only had a chance for five or so hours of sleep she looked beautiful, of course I’m very, VERY biased due to my massive Sophie Dee fetish.
Sophie had started producing and selling her own dvds, and as the worlds #1 Sophie Deeviant I HAD to get them. I didn’t bring to much to spend, but I pretty much started Exxxotica $60 in the hole. Worth it. The next girl I ran into was a young woman named Gracie Glam. I had never seen one scenes, but new her by reputation. Fans and talent alike seemed to have nothing but nice things to say about her, and I introduced myself by telling her that April O’Niel told me she was one of the best girls in porn. Its always these ‘cold’ meetings I’m the most nervous about, but Gracie was very warm and is someone I’d like to talk to more in the future for this site. She also has really great legs. I wish I was more comfortable a perv so I could have asked to snap a bunch of pictures from all different angles. Maybe next time.
Girls and fans were starting to get there, but it was still largely empty. Disappointing really, because from footage and stories I’d imagine this would be epic. It wasn’t all bad though; less people meant more face time with the girls we visited. Not skipping out on the day were the vendors, selling just about anything sex related you can think of. What you may not expect, if you don’t go these things though, is the non-adult related businesses that set up there. While we were waiting for Rubberdoll to set up, Marc saw a booth that would measure your body fat percentage. Given the choice of beautiful women who he’ll never get to touch again, or doing something he does twice a week at his gym, I think its obvious what he did; he ran to get his fat measured. I took pictures of it, and Debbie and I couldn’t help but laugh at this cross-state trip we had taken for him to end up doing that. The rest of the day he made jokes about it with us, but when we saw Courtney again and she asked if he worked out I broke out laughing saying he did and he had the paperwork to prove it. Then he showed off his print out!
When we were done with that I saw Allie Haze had arrived. Allie is a HUGE wrestling fan. We did a wrestling themed interview last year, where she sang R-Truth’s theme and then we struck an Orton pose. You may have even seen her on WWE’s kiss cam a few weeks back!
She had just been cast as Leia in a Star Wars parody, and on an unrelated note had absolutely awesome areolas. They’re brown and round, and I think I was reminded of them by the Leia hair I’ve seen her sporting in promotional pics. Apart from that she’s just super super pretty.
We did get back to see Rubberdoll, followed by a girl named Erica Lynne who I had never heard of but had made a sex scandel when she was on Bad Girls Club. And that Kelly Divine has a fat ass.
After that was Kristina Rose over at the Jules Jordan booth, which also had a funny moment for us. Mark didn’t recognize any of the girls that were there, but instantly pointed out which one was Jules. Zeroed in on him like a laser and had to meet him. Male porn talent and working out – the things my buddy has memories of from the porn convention.
Kristina has one of my favourtie body types; smaller boobs and a nice round butt. Could her butt be bigger? Yes. But I’m pretty okay with it as it. She had pot leaf pasties over her breasts, and my buddy later asked if she was high. I can’t say either way, but she did say I was cute so I’m leaning towards yes.
Next we met my choice for ‘Best in Show’; Ashlynn Leigh. I knew her mostly from Twitter, and from her appearances on Amatuer Teen Kingdom. She’s only 18, and hasn’t been in porn long, but that girl knows how to WORK. I know I couldn’t have been the highlight of her day, but she genuinely made me feel like I was. Right now I can’t even say how she did it; she was just very personable and made a terrific, lasting impression on me. Apart from the girls I’d already known well she was the most fun I had all day.
Actually, I can think of ONE of the many reasons I fell in love with her that day. She was a little hands on, and wasn’t above a little grinding and squeezing. When Debbie was getting her picture, Ashlynn asked if she could lick her cleavage. Mark and I didn’t even wait for her answer and yelled “YES!!“
Lexxxi Lockhart was there too, and from my first article on here you know I’m a fan of hers. Sadly, the best picture I took off her is a little too tittylicious to post here! Even though we had just been together for seven hours a few weeks before I had to stick around and talk to her more because she’s a blast to listen to. She also accused me of being a boob man, but she was rubbing her boobs while she said it so I had a hard time mounting a defense.
Now this is something that really upset me; the following picture came out weird. Whatever it was (I’m guessing the lighting) made Nyomi Banxxx look a fraction as beautiful as she really does.
When I saw Nyomi, I instantly reverted to a loser kid in school trying to talk to a girl he’s got a crush on. I stammered…I blushed! I cannot, CANNOT stress how unbelievably beautiful this woman is. She looks like a super-model. I’ve seen a lot of hot girls, a lot of gorgeous girls, but Nyomi Banxxx was one of the few truly beautiful women I’ve been blessed to meet in person. And the whole time I’m trying to get control of myself and not act like a gushing fan, she’s apologizing for her voice being scratchy because she’s getting over being sick.
A little later, I popped my head around a corner to see if Lexxxi was back in her booth, and it just so happened to be directly across from Nyomi’s. So she’s sees me peeking around the corner and gives me this smile and little finger wave. I can’t do anything to come off as having any composure in front of that woman.
Jesse Jane had gotten there, and she was the only one that had a security rope creating a line to see her. She was also the most expensive girl there; for $20 you got a picture with her and a poster. Its still not as bad as ‘real’ celebrities – James Marsters from Angel was charging $50 for a picture with him at Megacon – but most girls were doing it for $5, with a few for $10, and others for free. Still, it was Jesse Jane and we were getting some bonus stuff so I hopped in line. The first thing I noticed was how tiny she was. Oh man was she little! I didn’t have enough time to get personal, but she’s hot and small so its all good.
The last girl I was waiting for to show up (that actually did) was Trina Michaels. Trina is a local girl, so I usually get to see her once or twice a year and she always remembers my rugged mug. Trina’s another big wrestling fan, except sometimes she climbs into the ring herself. I really need to spend more time with her because large boobs + wrestling + video games (which she also loves) is a fine combination in any person. Her girls were actually pretty covered up for this day, but I assure you that even someone as big as me could get smothered in that glorious cleavage.
And that pretty much ended our day. It was getting and we headed out. A lot of girls didn’t show, but the ones that did really tried to make up for it and make sure all the fans had a good time. I missed a few that were there that I planned on doubling back for; Brandy Taylore and her massive natural breasts were calling out to me, and Angel Vain with her less natural but still massive ones were too. This is actually the second con in a row I’ve accidentally skipped Angel! Somethings gotta be wrong with me. Overall it was a good trip, and worth the 9 or so hours of total travel time that day. I got to see some old friends, meet some exciting new talent, and feel up Sophie Dee some more.
Good day.
Here are some Twitters of the girls pictured for y’all. Obvious potential nsfw if you click on things the gals link to.
Lexxxi Lockhart – Nyomi Banxxx – Sophie Dee – Ashlynn Leigh – Erica Lynne – Kelly Divine – Rubberdoll – Allie Haze – Trina Michaels – Jesse Jane – Kristina Rose – Gracie Glam – Courtney Cummz
JDviant is just a guy who talks to pornstars. Its really easy to do and he hope nobody else figures that out. If you want to see the boobs we can’t show you you can visit him here. NSFW